Game 225 - War Begins

[benmin18]

The Black Gate shall open soon, and the vileness of the Elves and Men shall be swept from Middle Earth. Run, cowardly elves to your ships. Leave Middle Earth for our Lord Sauron and his minions from the East.

- Urzahil, Minion of Sauron

[RKFloyd]

Lord Sauron,

We swear our blades, lives, and souls to you! Long live the 3000 Year Empire!



-Ovatha, Faithful Servant

[roberto]

Oh, no!! Not again!!! :D :D :D

Nice to meet you again on the battlefield Ben.
This time the neutrals are evenly split between the two factions, aren't you worried? :)

Bard, Lakeman

[benmin18]

Nope, not really. Then again with a Khand and Rhun DS side, you should be. :)

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[The Eternal]

Hello Darkness my old friends
The time has come to war again
Children of the the Eye go softly creeping
To slay the freeps while they are sleeping
Saurons vision planted in our brains
Still remains
Within the sound, the sound of screaming!!!!

Akhôrahil Simon
The Plagiarising Minstrel of Mordor

[Morrissey]

Hi, I'm still here, I'll plague you with my melanchonic voice again, I only hope the Woodmen won't ignore my talent :)

Morrissey, the dark side of the Woodmen

[murmur]

Morrissey,

Can you sing Cemetary Gates for me?
I find that apt.

DENDRA on the guilotine

[Morrissey]

Dear Dendra, Morannon... what a good place for the performance of that song!
But if I come there I want to make a whole concert, will you be able to listen at me until the end? :D
Yep, why don't you come to Mirkwood? My devoted woodmen will make a special party for you...

Yours

Morrissey

[murmur]

Hmmm, dunno, it`s so far away. Expensive to get to and the natives are a bit inbred, what with all that shapechanging, cavorting with bears and singing with the wolves. Maybe Gondor would be more civilised?

DENDRA d`War

[benmin18]

Elves suck...

- Urzahil, Mouth of Sauron

[cannfb]

I have no soul, I am not truly alive...but I pledge my "undying" allegiance to the Lord Sauron. We shall polish our blades with the blood of the Free Peoples!

Morrissey, you're first - that whining you call music causes me more pain than 10 Elven blades in my chest...

Long Live the Lidless Eye!

Love (to kill Freeps),
Murazor

[cannfb]

Elves are fairies
Dwarves are small
Here comes the Lidless Eye
He will smite you all
ohhh....
If you're on the wrong side then...
He is not your friend
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over Anduin waters
We will take you down...

Murazor Garfunkel
The Equally Plagirist Bard of Minas Morgul

[murmur]

"KICK OUT THE ELVES, MELLON-FARMERS!"

Morannon City 5.


Now that`s what i call poetry!

[Fletch]

How about;

Elven chicks got soul
Elven chicks like to rock and roll??

The Multi-talented Cloud Lord!

[benmin18]

Elves still suck...

- Lord Urzahil, Minion of Saruon

[RKFloyd]

Yes, it's true,
Elves do suck.
But we'll make do
With any luck.
We'll kill 'em all,
Won't pass the buck.
Then go to our two-humped camels
for a nice hard . . . . hmm, can't find any word that rhymes with "buck". Oh well. Poem is over. Back to digging holes in the sand! Poetry is for ladies and "smooth" guys. Digging holes is MAN WORK!

Ovatha of Khand

[benmin18]

Damn it, no one on the other side wants to trade taunts!

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

I'd like, but my poor english doesn't allow me :rolleyes:

[murmur]

I don`t think they have anything to gloat about...yet. Nice of the dwarves and northmen to , as one of my esteemed team-mates put it, "bend over for us" on t1. We really like the Rhun area, real estate is , apparently, going very cheap!

DENDRA the Dog

[roberto]

Mongo Estate Selling Inc. is very proud to announce that many nice resorts are now available on the shore of the Sea of Rhun.
The sight is breath-taking ( you can spend the whole day trying to spot Tol Buruth on the mountain in the middle of the lake. The first to find it wins a doll), the climate is one of the best all around Middle Earth and the neighbours, the Northmen, are one of the most welcoming nation ( their eloquence is well known).
Anyway everything has his price, and such beautiful mansions can't be sold for cheap...
Are the starving DS nation able to afford such an expensive buy?
We fear not... so our agents are already seeking buyers among the richer Free Peoples.
The gold mining dwarves showed a lot of interest in the area ( seems they got bored of their stone-digged holes and prefer to enjoy the sun and the salubre climate of Rhun).
We expected the Rhun Easterlings to be interested as well, but they preferred a more conservative approach to the whole matter. They stayed at home ( at Riavod and Mistrand) thus showing no interest and a lack of intraprendence.
I'm sure thay my sell agent Swithwulf will be able to explain them their mistake.
On the other hand we're glad that the Long Rider showed to be interested in the spot of Lest. Those rich soil hills are very nice, aren't they?? The wine we produce there is well rinomated... we just hope you won't get drunk.
We're very confident to sell everything.
We're also confident to make a good deal.

Who knows who will buy those resorts?

I bet the Freeps will get the upper hand :)

[benmin18]

Bah, the Northmen Real Estate company isn't going to be around very long. Something tells me that they'll be going under quite soon.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

Spring comes quickly, Roberto. We may afford a room or two at Rhun-by-the-Sea yet! Comprende'? And, of course, I can ALWAYS afford one . . . the winter has no hand in the economy of the deep south desert. Es muy calor! Camel trading is at an all time high. Industry is booming . . . we have learned to make many fine and wonderful papers from recycled Mûmakil dung. We ship many fine and good papers to the Hobbits in the Far West. They always sing that song . . " Keep on Rollin', Rollin', Rollin' " . . . something to do with their herbs and weeds I think? "Medicinal use only", HA! We do not care for such things. Rolling weeds is for girlies and "Smooth" guys. Too many holes to dig! Digging holes is MAN WORK! Sand keeps blowing and filling the holes back in! It's freaking CRAZY man!!!

-Ovatha

[Morrissey]

We, the Woodme, have some trees free in Mirkwood to rent, but our powerful neighbour seems not to be interested...
Maybe he doesn't want to hear our joyous songs? "I'm so sorry..."

[benmin18]

Bah, people who live in trees are furry and smell funny...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

Uhm, I think that people who lives in desert and lonely mountains hasn't so much more to be funny, even if they are shaggy or not...

[roberto]

Since 12 hours since the delivery of the turn have already passed and Ben haven't posted anything yet I'm starting to suspect that war is not going as the DSs wished :)

Anyway:

My sell-agent Swithwulf has well explained the Rhun Easterlings why they should be more interested in our mortgage offer.
It seems that a certain Rof Paku didn't take it well and tried to come at hands with Swithwulf...

This turn a huge meeting was arranged at Riavod.
Our sales agent Bain I has requested the cooperation of his colleagues Thralin III and Camthalion, since the task of convincing the inhabitants of Mistrand to buy our resorts seemed quite hard.
We were disapponted to notice that no Khand Easterlings showed up there, though invited...
At least Hargrog and his pony riders arrived in time.

Mornadak bought some land around Lest, we hope he'll appreciate the spot.
He can discuss about it with Bard I this turn in the open plains.
He would have probably preferred to discuss somewhere else, but our CEO thought that an half-way meeting was more polite.

Other big meetings, not concernings our resorts on the Rhun Sea, will take place at Dol Guldur and at Buth Ovaisa.
The Dunadan Rangers expected to meet someone at Mt Gram, but the rude WK preferred to stay on his own.
That wasn't really nice...

Are we still "bending over for you", guys???


:D :D :D :D

[benmin18]

No worries. We've got plenty more troops where they came from. I'd be more worried 'bout what's cooking in Mordor because it's obvious that the wusses of Gondor decided not to come up and play. I guess we'll just have to come down the mountain and squash them there. Oh, and Roberto, we'll be coming for you too. :)

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Aragorn]

Originally posted by roberto
The Dunadan Rangers expected to meet someone at Mt Gram, but the rude WK preferred to stay on his own.
That wasn't really nice...


Seems I recognise this smell from somewhere... Is that David Murray tickling my nose again? Is that decaying stench really Ben..? :D Old memories come to mind... Aragorn died last time we met on the battlefield. Well, the bad news for you is, he's BACK! And he's in a bad mood.

Not sure I know Murazor from before, but your unholy spirit will be put to rest anyway. The old realm of Arnor is stirring under my command. Hundreds and hundreds of Dunedain have left the woods to face Sauron in war. Prepare to die by the hands of elves, dunedain and dwarves, rising as one in this last alliance against evil. My captains in the grey company and I were most impressed with the great strategy the first of the nazgul is displaying in Angmar. One of our scout companies spotted an orc camp in the far north. Orcs aren't supposed to leave their dark holes, and a small force rode out to teach them a lesson. Only ashes now remain. This seems to have scared the wits out of the garrison in Mt Gram, because as soon as they heard to news of the approaching dunedain, they fled their mountain fort and tried to hide in the hills between the mountains. We know where you're hiding, we know you don't have food enough to flee, and we know your numbers. No orc will ever set foot in Mt Gram again. After cleaning out the dirt and making the fort fit for dunedain habitation, we will come for you. Send the Lord of the Nazgul out of hiding so we can cross swords in battle!

Aragorn II, son of Arathorn
(Pontus Gustavsson)

[Fletch]

Dont worry Aragorn, the Master of Shadows has a knife specially prepared with your name on it. History will repeat itself

The Cloud Lord

[The Eternal]

Originally posted by Aragorn
Old memories come to mind... Aragorn died last time we met on the battlefield. Well, the bad news for you is, he's BACK! And he's in a bad mood.

always nice to see a familiar face on the opposite side, it makes winning that much more fun

and don't worry we'll make sure Aragorn's comeback doesn't last all that long :D

Akhôrahil

[benmin18]

Oh no, it's Pontus. Everyone hide your women, children, and sheep! :)

- Ben
Dark LTs.

[RKFloyd]

Pontus? What is a Pontus? We have no Pontus in the desert. Is it a cactus? Does it have wings? Is it edible? We do not care what a Pontus is. We will dig a hole . . . yes, another hole in the sand . . . and put the Pontus in it! Sauron will be pleased, pleased.

Ovatha

ps- What is a Roberto? We have no such thing . . .
. . . in the desert.

[Aragorn]

You should know the Pontus, because it came from the desert. It slices, it dices and it eats you alive! It loves the smell of Fire Storms in the morning. If ever you meet it, you better step aside. A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died! Oh, art thou my father? My brother? I am death and I have come for you! Die! Die! Muhaha! My preciouss... :D


Hope all is clear now. Nice to see you all again. Sorry I forgot to insult you in my first message Fletch, it's not because I don't like you. Looking forward to this game! I've played both with and against some of you. It's good to know the opposition is competent, and I now regret my lands are so far from Mordor. Tell Murazor to try to survive for a few turns more.

The Pontus

[roberto]

According to the Smithsonian Institute the "roberto" is an infesting weed...
If you don't eliminate it soon, in less then no time it will invade all Middle Earth!
Be careful... it seems that some shady looking fellow has been seen here and there planting strange seeds.
If you'll soon see lots of couch-grass camps pop up everywhere you know you are doomed!

[benmin18]

Good thing we've got plenty of weed-killer in Mordor...

- Urzahil

[Aragorn]

Weed-killer? Is that trolls you're referring to? I'd like to see a few thousand trolls try to go through a Roberto infested area. They'll hurt their big black feet and run home to Sauron crying!

/Aragorn

[RKFloyd]

Not if they trip in the many fine and nice holes I have duggen!Is "duggen" a word? We have no dictionaries . . . in the desert.

Ovatha

[Fletch]

I believe Sauron has declared duggen a new word. Not only will the world be open to newer ideas, but Lord Sauron welcomes all progressive English translations......or else!


Knifey Jones

[RKFloyd]

Ask Sauron where our turns are!

Ovatha

[murmur]

I believe SAURON may be involved in surrender talks with the freeps and keeping his loyal nazgul in the dark. no enemy, no combat results...

DENDRA

[roberto]

You're perfectly right... that's what happened!

Sauron asked our leaders if he could surrender and join our coalition ( in these times it's more trendy this word than alliance...).

Maybe the presence of so many italians, all around the world known to be masters in the art of starting the war on one side to switch before the end to the other, suggested him this wonderful idea!! :D

The sun still shines on Rhun and the nation of the Northmen!!
One by one the PCs of the Dark Servant and their allies are falling... ( and I have only seen a couple turnsheet... I'm anxious to see the most promising ones... :cool: )

[benmin18]

Bah, the Italian army is almost as useless as the French army...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

That`s Ben, making friends around the world with his usual charm!
The Romans were Italians...where did it all go wrong? I blame the Christians touting all that peace and brotherly love stuff...

david
DENDRA

ps; Roberto, are you REALLY happy with your turn? A lot of armies in Mirkwood, sure, a gimme at Gram...but not a lot else to crow about.

d

[benmin18]

Let's see, the Osgiliath bridge is down, we stand unopposed on Osgiliath, and the Fools of Gondor will meet their death at Morgul. It sure is nice to be one of Sauron's minions.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[roberto]

To murmur:

Honestly speaking: yes, I'm very happy of how my turn went.
I was really worried about what you ( al the DSs) could have done to me. This was the most important and critical turn, now I see the future "pink". :)

Well... if I only had killed Din Othar instead of just injuring him I'd have been much happier!!! :p

And you?? aren't you ashamed?? An army mad of 50 warg riders and 100 slaves is not something you should be pride of!!! We expected more from you!!! :D

To Ben:

I ironized on our recent military history first, so your comment was useless...

BTW, seriously speaking, I think we should keep anything related to the real war ( including the US-France debate) out of this forum ( I know that I referred to it first saying "coalition" and I beg your pardon for that)

[benmin18]

Roberto,

I was making a joke. My bad if I offended you, no harm meant.

- Ben

[RKFloyd]

<<( including the US-France debate) out of this forum )<<


What is a "us-france"? Will it fit in a nice, sandy hole? It's not another weed is it? I get bored with your fauna. The only plant I like is SAND. It's easy to grow. You can bury things in it. I get angry when the neighbor's cat buries "things" in my sand!! I tell the children "NO, NO, It's not raisins! Do not eat it!"

I would like to look up definitions for us-france and pontus and roberto myself . . .I had a dictionary ordered from Amazon, but the Postal Camel was intercepted by that stupeed sand demon. So we still have no dictionary in the desert. But we are digging holes to put sand demons (and dead camels) in.

Ovatha of Khand

[murmur]

"And you?? aren't you ashamed?? An army mad of 50 warg riders and 100 slaves is not something you should be pride of!!! We expected more from you!!! "

Not ashamed. They are highly trained, well armoured shock troops. There would have been a hell of a lot more of them if the LR hadn`t bought all the horses. The gore-crazy baztud! Look out for them in your home town soon.

DENDRA the Dog Lord

[Aragorn]

Lag-Angren burned to ashes, an army of Dunedain knights in Mt Gram, the people cheering our arrival and giving us the keys to the town without a fight, orc soldiers fleeing into the hills, trying to hide in a makeshift camp. The Goblin gate abandoned, left to be taken by our elven brethren standing outside its walls. Sarn Goriwing left as the Dragons Lord's last recruiting base after the defeat in Dol Guldur, but surrounded by free armies. The last evil outposts in the north-west are Mt Gundabad and Dol Guldur, both are virtually unprotected and both will fall within a few turns. The escape routes from Mt Gundabad are closed from both sides. The bridge over the Anduin destroyed in panic. You still hold your population centres in Mordor, but that will change soon. We don't need the bridge, we have the Gondorian navy, and I'm tempted to send down a few thousand Dunedain knights myself to make sure Minas Morgul is cleansed from evil. Your chance was in Rhun, but that chance is washed away, like tears in the rain.

Aragorn II

[benmin18]

Now now now, I wouldn't count those chickens before they hatch, False King of Gondor...

- Urzahil, Minion of Sauron

[Aragorn]

Watch 'em hatch! Most of the eggs I referred to are already chickens to be counted. The Goblin gate will hatch this turn, Mt Gundabad and Dol Guldur will take a few turns more.

Aragorn, true king and chicken farmer

[benmin18]

*Snicker* I know something you don't know...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[roberto]

Yeah.. you know what's going on in the WK's head :D

The Mt Gram army was very kind to leave it undefended, the newly posted camp of 2006 is much more valuable!!

The Mt Gundabad army has given enough time to the Woodies to keep organized, so now he is allowed to move...

The Minas Morgul army... the Minas Morgul army... Hey!!! has anybody seen that army??? :confused:

C'mon... tell us... we're curious :)

[benmin18]

Oh how quickly do we forget previous games... Last time I knew something you guys didn't know, something very bad happened to you boys in game 230. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it...

*Snicker* I know something you don't know.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[roberto]

oh, yeah.. I did forget!!!

You won game 230 in spite of the WK being eliminated after a couple of turns and now you want to repeat that tactic...

Diabolic!!

:p

[murmur]

We, the proud people of Mordor are an open society. We believe in independence and self-rule. The WK is old enough and ugly enough to take care of himself. If he needs help he will yell and we will help. I am intrigued to know why you think you are so secure in Rhun and other places...are you hiding 4 major towns out there and mass-producing yak heavy cav? if not i wouldn`t count, chickens or on your next birthday coming if you are a so-called Free People. Mordor is coming to you!

DENDRA the Dog

[Aragorn]

*Snicker* Ben knows a lot about chickens that I sure don't want to know...

[murmur]

That`s true, apparently he and Gothmog used to be members of the chicken pluckers union. At least i think that`s what Urzahil overheard at the War Cabinet in Barad-Dur...


Murmur Perrit of Morannon.

[benmin18]

I know much about chickens. I've studied Gondor's war tactics for years...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

touche, sirrah!

DENDRA

[Aragorn]

Then surely you have noticed the lethal killer spurs of the Royal Gondorian chicken regiment, and their piercing diamond tipped beaks. Used with the fine Gondorian chicken tactics, developed during centuries of warfare, they'll break havoc among the ranks of clumsy trolls. Beware, the killer chickens are here, and they're lusting for blood!

/Aragorn, soon to be king of Arnor and Gondor

[Fletch]

So, now we know what the Gondorians were doing all those years in hiding! Breading superiour Chicken Cavalry a-la Joust!!!

Do they fly too? Just remember what happens when the Black Knight lands on your head!

[benmin18]

I wasn't referring to their troops being chickens, I was referring to their commanders and how they acted...

How about it, Cowards of Gondor? I'll put up Gothmog and Bolvag, so why don't you two put up Angbor and Baranor in challenge?

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Aragorn]

You're too kind!
I'm sure the Gondorian knights are going to be very pleased with your comparing them to the royal killer chickens! Some take a bear as their symbol, others may prefer the more cunning wolf, but I'm sure Baranor is now going to paint his shield with the picture of a golden killer chicken tearing the eyes out of a troll!

And the answer the question, no the war equipped killer chickens don't fly too well. But they jump! And they drop exploding eggs! Oh no... I think I've revealed far too much now. The Gondorian Intelligence Agency will come after me!

/Aragorn

[murmur]

It seems to me we haven`t had any dodgy poetry for a while...who would like to continue the verse;

There was young maiden called eowyn...



DENDRA the Sensitive.

[RKFloyd]

There was a young maiden called Eowyn
Who came to Khand to find some men.
We dug her a hole,
Sauron rest her soul,
She'll ne'er see the light of day again!

[murmur]

Why`s is Ben starting a new thread? i kinda like this one...maybe it was Russ`s poetry?

Anyway, a message to Erkenbrand? Can you please release DAUMDORUT? He`s needed back at the capital for doing sells, retiring expensive troops etc...

thanks,

DENDRA DOG

[benmin18]

Ok, we'll keep this thread going...

Elrond sucks!

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

How do you know?
Have you been reading the graffiti in the Dol Guldor latrines again?
Anyway, on present evidence i`d say SANGARUNYA sucks the most...

DENDRA [ a long way from Umbar]

[roberto]

You're right: we Free Peoples have started a poll to decide who has been the worst player so far.

Our beloved Sangarunya is for sure one of the favorites! :D

But I'm sorry to say that, no matter how the Corsairs can play poorly, the real winning horse is Murazor.
He is by far the real winner of this poll. :p

PS: I'll tell Erkenbrand to free Daumdorut if you promise to ask Uvatha not to bother me anymore, OK??? :D

[murmur]

I can ask...but UVATHA is so strong willed. After a cask of ale we just point him in the direction of stuff and he brings it over to our side. He has a bit of a drink problem, truth be told. Burn the cellars of your inns if you want to keep any territory is my advice...as for MURAZOR...he works in deep and mysterious ways...

DENDRA

[The Eternal]

Perrit International Concerts present a small excerpt from the recent Mordor Defence Fund Benefit Gig.

" - (thundering drum beat)
'This wicked little ditty is dedicated to some swines i really hate, the Imperialist elves with their dwarven and human lackeys!!. (loud cheering)
So all you freeps who have ever taken advantage of somebody, beat 'em down or hurt 'em, because they look a little different, have a different outlook on life, are the wrong colour, or whatever warped little reason you used. For every one
of you Sauron damned freeps this is for you..
(crowd goes wild!!!)


'I got my black robes on
I'm riding my black winged steed
I got my black hood up
I've been held down too long
Now the Eye has turned on you
So with my Sauron blessed sword
I'm 'bout to bust some heads
I'm 'bout to dust some freeps

I'm a...

ELF KILLER, better you than me
DWARF KILLER, sod freep brutality!
DUNEDAIN KILLER, I hope your family's grievin' ... BURN 'EM!
FREEP KILLER, now we gonna get even'

(thrashing harpsichord solo!!)"

Akhôrahil-T
The Plagiarising Minstrel of Many Guises

- The full album is available from Perrit Recordings Luglûrak for three shiny bits of Mithril (no refunds)

[benmin18]

I would definitely have to vote for the Corsairs.. Someone bungled up big time. As for Murazor, he's fine. We have a nasty little surprise for you...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Aragorn]

Overheard at the celebrations in Mt Gram. Our dear friend Aragorn was a little tipsy at the time:

I'm a Dunedain and I'm okay,
I ride all night and I fight all day
Mounties: He's a Dunedain and he's okay,
He rides all night and he kills all day

I cut down orcs, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory (Dol Guldur)
On wednesdays I go a-walkin'
and have buttered Lembas for tea
Mounties: He cuts down orcs, he eats his lunch,
he goes to the lavatory (Dol Guldur)
On wednesdays he goes a-walkin'
and has buttered Lembas for tea

Chorus: I'm (he's) a Dunedain and I'm (he's) okay,
I (he) ride(s) all night and I (he) kill(s) all day

I cut down orcs, I skip and jump,
I like to collect wild herbs,
I put on Arwen's clothing,
and hang around in Umbar
Mounties : He cuts down orcs, he skips and jumps,
He likes to collect wild herbs,
He puts on Arwen's clothing
And hangs around in Umbar?!?

I cut down orcs. I wear high heels---

*Aragorn is dragged away by his sober friend Arador*

[benmin18]

Some of us have way too much time on our hands... myself included.

And elves still suck.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

Aragorn sounds like one of us..except for the crossdressing ,natch. I would say, would you like to come over to the other side, but i think you already have...

Dendra
BUTCH DOG

[RKFloyd]

Aragorn,

Sit on my face! And tell me that you love me . . . .

Ovatha
Also Drinking

[murmur]

"i like to hear you oralise, when you`re between my thighs...you blow me away"!!

DENDRA

jober as a sudge for now.

[benmin18]

Bah, Aragorn sucks too...

And elves still suck...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

Maybe that`s why ARAGORN is so fond of them...all those cold nights under the stars with only ELROHIR and ELLADAN to keep him warm...sounds so romantic!

Dendra the deeply hetero dog lover.

[RKFloyd]

Sounds like Aragorn needs to spend the night in my freshly-duggen sand hole. Wait. That doesn't sound right. Hold on a sec . . .

Ovatha

[Morrissey]

It looks like nobody wants me to sing a joyous song of mine....
Dragon's lord armies fly away and escape every time we meet, I'd like to find new frriends in Mirkwood, but nobody was there....
And it seems as nobody has to be there for a long time ;)

Always yours

Morrissey

[murmur]

"Sing [for] Your Life", Mozzer.

We need a bit of entertainment, the freeps aint doing any!

The Dragon Lord has matters handled in Mirkwood, but the Dog Lord will be along soon to help out...

DENDRA

[benmin18]

Oh god, not more bad elven poetry... Now I have to pay a visit to Mirkwood and slaughter the elves. I was content to just destroy Gondor, but I can certainly expand my horizons.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

DENDRA,

remember one day I'll come to sing "cemetary gates" at Morannon, will you be there? :)

BEN,

are you sure I am an elf?? Or maybe you weren't talking about me....
Elves are very friends of mine, but I'm the leader of the mighty Woodmen, one day I'll proof it to you :)

Good gaming to all of you

Morrissey of the Woodmen

[benmin18]

Wonderful, you're a smelly, furry human.. no matter, you'll die like the rest.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

Woodmen are full of dingleberries, I'm told.

-Ovatharuss
King of Khand

[murmur]

Moz,

Keats and Yates may be on your side, but be assured Wilde will be on mine.

The cemetary awaits, come and get it!

Dendra

[Gildring]

Ancient items of power are now within our grasp. Soon we will use them to decimate the foul hordes, just as was done at the Battle of Dagorlad, when Elves and Men defeated Sauron.

Urzahil, the Black Numenoreans have turned against your master, and soon a mighty tide will be upon you. Not only will Gondor remain ever beyond your grasp, soon Minas Morgul and Cirith Ungol will falter in the flood. You are not the only one who knows secrets. We are still not impressed with yours.

-- message from Master Elrond

[benmin18]

Let us see how long you hold to those ancient items of power... It won't be for long, I guarantee that.

- Urzahil, Minion of Sauron

[Vanya]

Hey I know this is silly but I have to give all you guys applause for actually using the board.....


I have never seen so much trash talk in my life....awesome.....


Serra

[RKFloyd]

Serra,

I think it's a lot of fun to talk with and taunt the enemy. I wish more people would use the forum.

Ovatharuss

[benmin18]

It's because the Dark Servants rule and elves suck...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

I have to agree here. Ovatharuss and his faithful Dark Servants kick major tail! Elves suck mainly because they have no Ovatharuss to lead them.

Ovatharuss of Khand

[Morrissey]

...but they have the marvelleous Morrissey on their side :)

Elves love my songs, you have to see how they are concentrate during my performances..... it looks as they are all sleeping, but they aren't, or not?? :confused:

Is there anyone of you feeling alone? I can come to rise up your spirit if you want, but the firs in my list is my friend Dendra, I hope he is thinking at the menu for that special day
:)

I don't eat meat (expecially human) :D

Morrissey

[benmin18]

Bah, the only thing the Woodmen need are a shave... But then again, if I just kill them all, I guess that'll work as well too. My trolls and warhounds need fresh meat.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

No need to ship any filet of woodman down south. My camels, unfortunately, would choke on the dingleberries.

Ovatharuss of Khand

[benmin18]

My my my, I wonder how things look in the wonder Rhun Sea area...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

I guessed correctly-- when the Mouth of Sauron says "beware Men of Gondor!" look east because he'll likely go for the Northmen. Ithilien will soon be solidly under Free control. But it does not matter where you focus your energy, slave of Shadow, the Rhun area will hold and not one Free nation fall. Your warhounds will have their day, then be ground into meal. And your scrawny orc infantry is little match for axe-wielding Dwarves! The men in that area will compliment the Khazad well. Lastly, I hear Thranduil has a fine cadre of elite cavalry forming in his hidden Fortress.

Your advantage in the arts of spirit mastery will not last long. Elven masters of lore will learn at a triple pace.

-- Gildring, herald of Master Elrond

[murmur]

Gildring,

Are you sure you are not a horse lord? I can smell the manure from here. Cav in Silvania. Poo! What a stench! For your skill at spin you could be a dark servant. if we have a vacancy do you want to join as nazgul #10?

Moz,

I love your effeminate vocals and brutal lyrics, your lies, however, are laughable. Come see me in my new back-up capital of Shrel-Kain if you want to visit. As for Ithilien, do we seem concerned? Maybe that`s for a reason...

Your ever lovin dog, lord.

DENDRA.

[benmin18]

Keep the commanders and troops coming into the Morgul pass and they'll die just the same, just like the Northmen.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

Dendra,

I am surprised you have choose to visit the boring Northmen's land before mine, but I have to admit you have done a good work reaching Shrel Kain in that way.

But my Northmen's friends won't surrender to you so easily, remember, we won't let them alone in the fight and we'll sing toghether a victory song at the end of all, I only have to decide which, from my past albums I don't find large amounts of them :D

Moz

[murmur]

Mister Moz,

i don`t expect the Northmen to surrender...i expect them to die!!!!

brouhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

*Strokes cat pensively*


DENDRA THE MEGALOMANIAC

[Fletch]

The only singing we need to hear is the screaming of the Free.

Baranor is very happy being our guest for the moment, but he wants company. Any volunteers?

Shoglic, Scribe of Ji Indur

[benmin18]

You think the Free will volunteer for anything? Naa, they're a bunch of cowards. Look how they refused all my challenges. I imagine they'll be refusing some more.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

Bragolmaitë
Shall meet his fate
Beneath these sands of mine.

A hole we've dug
for that pitiful pug
Beneath these sands of mine.


Ovatharuss
King of Khand

[krell]

Boromir did no refuse this time: you had to take the chance !

And about Baranor: first gondorian kidnapped on turn 5...
Should I be impressed ?

Not to mention we can no more enjoy the presence of Abdhkil...

A lurker NG225

[Fletch]

Not yet, things are just starting to take shape. Assassination requires patience and timing. Nothing should be rushed or else you may miss the target.....besides, it wasnt until Turn 5 that your armies actually became a threat afterall!!

Shoglic

[Gildring]

Keep those gold shipments heading towards Riavod. The pitiful Rhun Easterlings, slaves of Sauron, must now regret their decision to choose darkness. Clearly, they are no match for Rohan's cavalry, as towns and villages and even remote camps are hit by well-coordinated Free attacks.

-- Gildring, Herald of Master Elrond

[benmin18]

And you might want to find a new capital for the Northmen, foolish elf.

- Lord Urzahil

[Morrissey]

And can you wake up the Witch King and the Dragon Lord? Can you telle them the game is starded since 5 turns?
I'd really enjoy to see one of them winning a battle: do you think they'll be able to do it this turn? Or the new Dol Guldur's army will lose again? :D
I don't remember: it is the second or the third time it happens?

The Moz

[benmin18]

You foolish elves don't have enough to take Gundabad or Dol Goldur. However, we certainly have enough to take Shrel-Kain, and we will.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

Ok, but this won't make you nearest than us to the final victory: the game is not in your hand and you'll see how much coordinate we are.

The Moz

[roberto]

"Shrel Kain will fall?? really??

Hip hip hurray!!! A new sale has been done!!! The Northmen Estate Selling Inc. has signed a new deal!!! Shrel Kain goes to the Dog Lord for just 50K!!!!!!

Jubilee in the streets, the happy citizens welcomes the new owners!!

Anyway... does Bulrukur and his gang own that amount of money??
Otherwise I'm very sad to announce that the deal is void and that we'll take Shrel Kain for ourselves..."

"Cough! gough! gough!!"

"Shhh, Girion!! Stop coughing... you're not yet ill!! You'll get SARS next turn, not this one!!! Don't anticipate our beloved guests!!"

[murmur]

Who said anything about paying for it? Or for that matter keeping it?

DENDRA

[Gildring]

Even if Shrel-kain falls, Rhun will not. The Easterlings are overmatched there, and the Long Rider is decimated, with no foothold at all. Mistrand is dust, the barracks at Riavod nearly empty, and Rhubar will remain solidly in the hands of the Elves there, as skilled dwarven infantry hack their orc opponents to bits.
The promised aid from Khand never showed, and every fortnight the Free consolidate their gains.

No doubt, Saruman's power will prove to be more of a factor in this war than the helpless Rhun Easterlings.

[benmin18]

Ahhh, fool of Gondor, so safe are you behind the walls of Minas Tirith. So be it, cower within your city and let your allies fall.

- Urzahil, Lord of Darkness

[Morrissey]

Nor Gondor neither one of our allies will fall.
We'll put you down form where you come: darkness.
The FP will rule this world, Morrissey wil be their spiritual guide (uhm, about this I have to ask Elrond first :) ).

Moz

[murmur]

Are you sure you want to save the Northmen? What have they done for you lately? It would put an awful strain on your economies, surely? Think about it, Rhun isn`t so important after all, is it?

DENDRA-DOWSING-OIL-ON-THE-GATES-OF-SHREL-KAIN.

[murmur]

Not sure i want to be the next SADDO with over 100 posts. Makes me look as if i don`t have anything better to do...

[Fletch]

Whatever Citadel you choose to hide in will be burned out and those who flee from the flames will be cut down on thier way out the door.

The first blow comes in the East. Where will the second land? The White Wizard is of no threat to us. His pitiful mercenaries are no match for the eager warriors of Mordor.

[murmur]

Damn, that`s torn it.

[roberto]

My duty is to keep you busy...
The whole Rhen Easterlings, Long Rider amd Dog Lord nations have been so far able to take me just a town and a village ( that has been already taken back).
The same can't be said about the helpless RE that have lost a town, 3 villages and a camp...

"I'm dancing" (Mohammed Alì vs Foreman): you are outnumbering me, but I'll keep running around you and you'll never catch me!!

[benmin18]

*Shrug* Not much good the rest of your pop centers will do you when we burn your capital to the ground. Let's see how much dancing you do then.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

"You should be dancing, yeeeee... dancing yeeeee..." (Bee Gees)

[benmin18]

Disco sucks... and Shrel-Kain will burn.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[benmin18]

Tic, toc... the clock for Shrel-Kain's fall continues, unabated...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

The fall of Shrel-kain will not make a difference in this war. The Free are too strong, with no opposition West of the Anduin, for long...

Gildring, Herald of Master Elrond

[murmur]

...To the Dog Lord and the minions of Sauron!!

Shrel Kain is now no more than rubble and the newly arrived "defending" army no more than a joke. BULRAKUR survives to fight another day, with THORIN the Stumpy next on his hitlist at 4017. Freeps your days are numbered in Rhun, why bother spending resources on defending it?

DENDRA the Victorious

[Morrissey]

THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!

The Dragon's Lord has won a battle, people can't believe it and rumours about a corrupted Silvan army runs through Mirkwood...

Mt.Gundabad's army has been easily defeted from the proud Woodmen and the mighty Dunadan Rangers: the north-west of Mirkwood is now free form enemies, the Wk has never been and never will be a problem anymore.

Moz

[benmin18]

And neither will the Northmen... *Snicker*

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

Aren`t we back to counting the fabled chickens again..?

DENDRA

Dog Lover, Chicken Worrier

[RKFloyd]

Bragolmaite certainly had a rough week. He got laughed at by his own troops for refusing my personal challenge (it was just a game o' Chess!), then he lost all his men in combat afterwhich he lay with grievous wounds watching his beloved town fall down all around him. Then he died. The Corsairs would have us believe he was "ruthlessly assassinated in his sick bed" but we all know that's just a wild rumor to drill fear and keep the "free" people in check! Hold fast, ye Unfree People! Your liberation draws near!

Ovatharuss of Khand

[Fletch]

Obviously our dreaded Scurvy Bomb has effected the Corsairs fleet much more than expected. They still have yet to find a target.

Poor Bragolmaite, he was last seen leaving town with several large men in suits and broken noses. Rumor had it both of them were named Tony. They may have mentioned something about fitting him for cement shoes.

Ohh yeah, nice guards at Minas Morgul by the way. Wonder who will be next.

Shoglic the Maker
For
Ji Indur

[Gildring]

Shoglic, the ability of Ji Indur has been impressive. But I have seen firsthand the training of young Noldo agents and their stealth surpasses anything I know the Nazgul are capable of. Master Elrond himself is greatly impressed with them and their progress has been stunning. Soon enough they will be causing havok amid the armies and towns of Sauron's slaves.

Regarding our agent's guard duties: Let any of your other agents attempt to assassinate or kidnap and we'll see how well they get past Free guards. Work on the fringes stealing gold and targeting the likes of careless Bragolmaite, those are the only targets safe for you.

-- Gildring, Herald of Master Elrond

[benmin18]

Blah... elven agent training also includes cowering in the shadows and wetting yourself. Your puny agents couldn't stab their way out of a wet paper bag.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

You of orc-kind are ugly enough, so put the paper bag over your head and we'll see what an Elven blade can do to it. Or perhaps the slaves of Sauron can not afford even paper bags, now that the Market is exactly where the Free want it. Barad Perras falls into Free control this turn, further strengthening our grip upon Ithilien. You can not hope to stem the tide with Ji Indur and a few hundred orc infantry.

Concerning the skill of our agents: we will compensate with RINGS.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

Funny, we got one, one was in the water, and well, the third.. *Snicker*

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Fletch]

You praise the skills of Master Indur as you should, elf. Consider though, that perhaps it was not our leader but one of his chosen that has made these attempts. Or perhaps they bide thier time and await the day of vengeance. An assassins blade is best wielded with patience not recklessness. You will find this out one day, but by then it will be too late for you to stop us. The glory of Gondor has long faded. Return to the West while we still let you!

Shoglic

[RKFloyd]

I wish the super-duper Corsairs would come out of hiding and post something here . . . then we could taunt him to his face!!

Ovatharuss
Khing of Khand

[murmur]

Yeah, they really ought to get their rudders fixed, those ships just don`t seem to want to go where they are needed!


DENDRA

[Gildring]

The Corsairs' nation is a slumbering giant. You won't have to complain long about their inactivity.

-- Gildring

[RKFloyd]

<<You won't have to complain long about their inactivity.>>


Yeah, because they'll be DEAD!!!

Ovatharuss

[Gildring]

We will let the Corsairs keep the Khand and Quiet Avenger busy while the Free maintain control in Rhun, extend our grasp in Mirkwood, take Gundabad, and eliminate the last Dark Servant population center in the Misty Mountains. By mid-summer, the slaves of Sauron will have holdings in Mordor and Harad only.

-- Gildring

[RKFloyd]

Losing capitals is a sick way to "maintain control" in Rhun!! Would Sangarunya, by chance, be your strategy coordinator?

Ovatharuss
Sangarunya's Daddy

[Morrissey]

Yes, we love his non-acting stategy: he is smarter than what it seems (I hope), when he'll lead his troops through the QA territories to reach the Khand's capitol we'll see who was right :):):)

Moz

[benmin18]

Shyeah, right. He's been sailing around the past three turns doing nothing. Those troops must be getting AWFULLY expensive.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

"scuttle ships" would save him some money. Afterall, his navy is useless.

Always glad to help,

Ovatharuss of Khand

[Fletch]

I wonder if the Corsair troops that are "marching through the desert to the Khand capitol" will get as lost as the navy?

Should we expect them to turn up around the Sea of Rhun or something in a turn or three?

[helvorn]

Hey Elf punks and your WM lackeys!

Bring on some REAL armies! While we appreicate the practice it would be nice to have a challenge. It must be tough to be WAY out mage'd.

Khamul, Lord of Mirkwood

[Gildring]

Khamul, you are deluded if you think the slaves of Sauron can match Saruman, Galadriel, Elrond, Erestor, Galdor, and several other Warlocks worthy of mention. Our emissaries are also peerless. And as far as commanders go, compared with Aragorn II, Glorfindel, Ecthelion II, Imrahil, and Balin, your puny commanders are slimy orc girls. Gothmog can not maintain an army, defeated as he was outside the walls of Minas Morgul. And Bolg the Fat barely escaped imprisonment thanks of the guile of Ji Indur. The only area you excel at is agents, and as I said before, the stealth of our youngest Elves will more than compensate us in this matter.

Fall back to Mordor you fool. Since you can not see that the complete rout of Mirkwood is near at hand, you have little hope to save your faltering nation. Use your mages to win minor battles as we grasp rings to impersonate your kind and kill your commanders.

-- Gildring, Herald of Elrond

[helvorn]

Silly Elves,
Go back to chasing small tree rodents and leave the serious work to the Nazgul.

I sure don't see much sign of you guys "cleaning out" Mirkwood unless you are somehow disbanding WM troops and characters.

Khamul

[benmin18]

Oh, foolish elf... little are you aware of the peril that awaits you.

- Urzahil
Minion of Sauron

[Baja21]

Well, just a few more quick days before the next round runs.. How do the free intend to demonstrate their dominance of the Rhun theater this turn? I am guessing it is by Disbanding all their armies and running back to Edoras. (Too bad Widfara will not be joining you.. and you thought rhun characters were not to be feared.)

- Huz

Yep, I am still alive and kicking. Too bad about those NM though.

[Gildring]

It is better that your nation lives, Huz, as we know that four men carrying one cripple can not fight as well as a group if they didn't have to support you. We have taken every starting pop. center of yours but Riavod, so we know that you live on the strained generosity of your allies.

We have Dilgul, Lest, and more Free peoples living on the eastern coast of the Sea of Rhun. You have two puny armies at Riavod-- we destroyed the rest. Our troops number in the thousands there, so in every measurement, the Free still control Rhun, not Sauron's slaves.

As for your surprises Urzahil, we are Masters of Lore and know more than you could possibly expect. We don't need surprises to defeat you because we will stick with economic dominance and continue to take your holdings, from Gundabad to Goblin's Gate, your nations are shrinking while ours grow.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

*Snicker*

More commanders are disappearing, and Gundabad still stands... Losing Barad Parras is unfortunate, but not critical. Your mistakes are glaring, wretched elves...

- Lord Urzahil

[roberto]

Why don't you ask the WK how is Angulion???

I always thought that real mistakes were to forget to issue 215 orders...

- Roberto
Northmen

[benmin18]

Big whoop, I'm surprised you're still alive. Perhaps we'll just have to squash you from whatever rock you're hiding under. That shouldn't be too difficult.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

Yes, Angulion is dead. He disobeyed a direct order out of Imladris for all servants of Sauron to return to Mordor and await their fate. He paid the price for staying. So it shall be the same for all the Dark Lord's slaves if you do not flee immediately to your dark dens in Mordor.

-- Gildring

[Baja21]

Gildrig,

I really do need to know how you consider yourselves winning the battle of the Rhun Sea.
Yes, you have taken 2 villages of mine (both undefended), 1 town, and I think a camp.

In the mean time we have burned the NM capital, captured the town at 4415, I have an army sitting at the other undefended town of Rhubar (4413), we have captured Lest.. About the only free pop center of any meaning left in the area is Digul, and that is just because we have not moved there yet, and I really dont think that one town did the NM any good..

You really should come over to the dark side, you have a gift for twisting words. Sauron could use you to write his press releases.

Huz
Still kicking. And you better have Eomer watch his back, things have not gone well for Rider commanders in my territory.

[benmin18]

Bah, Rohan sucks... almost as much as the Elves.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[FBWizard]

Angulion was a pathetic slob, and deserved his fate. He disobeyed Sauron and paid the price that all those pay who do not follow his orders.

Speaking of pathetic, how is the siege of Gundabad going? I haven't heard from my friend Beoraborn lately - how is his health? I hear it's not good. How many more armies and commanders must die against the unassailable walls of Gundabad in a pathetic attempt to put me out of the game? Oh the (in)humanity....

Murazor

[murmur]

Admit it Freepsters;

Rhun is lost to you! My master has it in his sway. If you withdraw all your forces north of the river running we will let your leaders live for a while longer. I am remustering my cavalry after destroying Shrel-Kain and routing Thorin`s pathetic band last week. This week two more dwarven armies will fall along with the village at 3916. The Northmen are at home trading wine with the elves, they have no stomach for a fight in the wilderness in the east. Take my offer, and leave.

BULRAKUR, Hammer of Rhun

[Fletch]

There is now a new skull posted on the road to Dol Guldur. Alas poor Grimbeorn, we didnt know him at all. Yet another Free slave falls to the blades of the mighty assassins.

No one is safe from our master, if you live, it is only because we let you. Someone must tell the tale of woe to those who are still alive. Surrender now to our Lord Sauron, while he is still willing to grant you mercy!

Shoglic
Scribe of Ji Indur

[Gildring]

Rhun is under our control because we have hundreds of more troops than you in that area. Bulrakur will lose his battle this turn, and perhaps his life. The army at Riavod headed by some Easterling runt will also lose. Do you doubt this? We have more pop. centers in the area than you, and they will be improved shortly. Thus, by any standard, the Free control Rhun and will for the foreseeable future. Pay the cost to Hire Armies, lowly Huz.

Let the slaves of Murazor bear witness to true bravery-- Beoraborn knew he could not destroy the fortress of Gundabad, but he sacrificed his life to inflict great pain upon the Witch-king. With no gold to steal, we know how much it hurt. And we may do it again, or we may choose not to. The Free are in a position to decide your fate.

We now have the power to develop Spirit Mastery power at a great pace. These mighty lore masters will be YOUR downfall Ji Indur. Pass that on to your cowardly master Shoglic. And let us see who kills who-- my assassins grow more impressive with each passing day.

-- message from Master Elrond

[benmin18]

Shyeah, elves suck...

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

"We control the Rhun"
"no, WE do!!"


BAH! Who cares? For soon the KHAND will control ALL!!!!


Ovatharuss
King of Khand

[FBWizard]

Words are cheap, Elven scum. Let your idiotic commanders sacrifice their worthless lives as much as they wish. Mt Gundabad will remain standing while your pathetic tree houses crumble like so many twigs. Have no fear though, when the Eye That Sees All takes over your pathetic land, we will kill you last, since you amuse us so.

Murazor

[Gildring]

Mt. Gundabad WILL remain standing, and firmly within the control of the Free. We will take it soon and there is nothing you or your Lord can do about it.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

Please, you guys couldn't take candy from a baby..

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Fletch]

Whats this we business? All I see is Rangers! Doing the bidding of their elven masters no less. Alas, it is more satisfying to watch elves perish but humans will have to do.....

Shoglic aka Ghostrider Wannabe!

[Gildring]

All you see? Then we see more than you. And the Free Peoples have no master, unlike you slaves.

-- Gildring

[Fletch]

Choose the semantics that you will. We have known for many an age that the Elves are the true corrupters of Middle Earth. They would have you think you are free do they know the meaning of this term? Free to serve them more like. Saurons war is just and through it we shall truly bring a new era to Middle Earth. All people shall be free to do as they please under Sauron. We seek only to guide. Unfortunately there are some amongst the so called "free people" that would rule instead. It matters not for the time of the elves is at an end!

As for what we see, that is for us to know. You will soon see the extent of our power and then you shall tremble!

Shoglic for Ji Indur, Master of Skies, Lord of Clouds.

[roberto]

You should start to worry: Sangarunya has been reprogrammed and reloaded...

Things will never be the same!

[benmin18]

Cool beans, so you've made him even dumber... Most excellent.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

Ha ha ha! That was too perfect for me to bother adding anything too.


-Ovatharuss
King of Khand

[FBWizard]

Yet another turn, and Gundabad still stands in the hands of Sauron. No surprise to me. Your pathetic siege attempt didn't even get off the ground this turn. Perhaps your "silver-tongued" emissaries will have better luck? Based on previous experience I doubt it. Do they still have tongues I wonder? If so, we will cut them out and display them as trophies...

Murazor

[benmin18]

And the Corsaris still suck!

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

When you say "reloaded" do you mean replaced? As in Angulion was "replaced" for his incompetence by Our Benevolent Master SAURON?

DENDRA the Confused

[roberto]

Our Masters, the Ainur, judged him not enough competent to play this game and so called him back to Valinor...

Another version says that the Matrix discovered an anomaly in him and so decided to reprogram him... but this is another story!

[RKFloyd]

Sounds like we're finally facing a team equally as bad as ours!! Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that in public was I?

Ovatharuss

[Gildring]

Murazor, you seem lost. Get back to Mordor in time to see your nation fall. Gundabad may fall under siege this fortnight; the same goes for Dol Guldur. It is our choice to make-- power rests in the hands of the Free. The Lieutenants of Sauron will lose Thuringwathost and other camps soon.

--Gildring

[benmin18]

Please, you've got nothing... and you have no idea of the trouble that awaits you in Mordor. Come and meet your doom, rabble.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

Kudos to the Dwarves and Horsefelchers under EOMER!
The stumpies managed to neutralise my army at last and force me to return to Morannon--but i shall return! Poor GURTHLUG arrived too late for the party and will now have to face the "might" of the Dwarves and Rohan alone at 3916 this week. We wish her luck, please allow her safe conduct back to her homeland after you are done with he army!

BULRAKUR, Hammer of Rhun.

[Fletch]

Another shining hero of Gondor succumbs to the assassins blade. We'll spin the wheel of fate and see who is next on the list....

Break a deal....face the wheel....

Ooops, wrong genre, but it works

[Morrissey]

Remember that you can kill all the woodmen that you want, but there will always be one more ready to climb your pathetic fortifications, and the same about the mighty Gondorian.

Morrissey has spoken:D

[benmin18]

Please, you guys have got nothing. And that little rabble around Osgiliath won't be around for much longer either.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Morrissey]

The game is so long to sing a victorious song: if you think to depress us with your fool words you are doing a great mistake.

Oh, yes, I know... woodmen suck, please don't be repetitive

Moz

[murmur]

IMHO they bite. And what with all that shapeshifting into animals are obviously a bit fond of bestiality...

DOG BOY

[Gildring]

Slaves of Sauron, since you have not heeded the Ban and still have foul beings outside of Mordor, you will suffer the consequences this fortnight.

-- Gildring, messenger of Master Elrond

[The Eternal]

ah! Gildring, the poor deluded little lap dog of Elrunt,

it is you and your ilk who will be suffering the consequences in the days ahead.
The Servants of Sauron will soon banish the vile elves and their minions from middle earth and only then will the lands outwith Mordor enjoy the freedom we so dearly cherish.

Akhôrahil

[murmur]

Sinda-boy?
What were you thinking?
Sending that paltry HI army on to my CAPITAL, what on middle-earth for? I`m just gonna swat you like a bug and then i`m gonna assassinate the commander afterwards. For fun. I`d rfspers and movjoin away if i were you. Good luck, suicide-boy!

DENDRA the INSULTED

[roberto]

Yeah, he is there just for what you called him!!

To suicide on your walls... We'll take you by hunger!

BTW could you ask your friends, the Dark Lieutenants, if Tormog is well or if he got a flu??
I fear that he also lost that nice shiny ring he used to wear with so much pride...

The Mordor invasion has just begun!!!

Roberto

PS: my friends, the Corsair, are curious to know where the heck that QA army is going.
They fear that the curse the former Corsairs had had been transferred to the Quiet Avenger.
He thought that moving armies in the middle of nowhere was his exclusive...

[murmur]

Last i checked armies couldn`t suicide walls if they were dead after the first round of combat...as for TORMOG. He was useless waste of mortal space anyway. Ring, didn`t he give it away?

DENDRA the Confident

[murmur]

I was correct. TORMOG was cack. He won`t be missed. Good job we have agents in abundance.


DENDRA the backpeddler

[benmin18]

Faramir, dead... Ecthelion, dead... Some other North Gondor loser, dead... Getting back the Ring of Wind will be easy. It'll look nice next to this other trinket I just found.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Fletch]

C'mon dont pretend you guys did that all yourself, I know when you held my agent for 30 seconds he must have let slip that Tormog has a penchant for sleeping in late.

Small price to pay for my release, but hey, we're a shady bunch!

[RKFloyd]

How often do you see 400 HI take out nearly 500 HI AND capture the commander? Corsairs, I suspect you are happy that Dírhael is now out-of-commission. Such incompetence must be punished and you know that WE will do a fine job of THAT!! Soon he'll be sleeping with Bragolmaite and the Fishes!

Ovatharuss
King of Khand

ps- NO! You absolutely may NOT have Kas Shadoul back!!

[Gildring]

Slaves of Sauron, you are sinking under the tide. It is as I told you before. Gondorian Captains are numerous and capable, you should not take hope because you have murdered a few of them. Ecthelion II will be missed, but his memorial will stand high in Minas Ithil when we cleanse the Morgul Vale.

The loss of Tormog and the Ring of Wind is a telling sign for you. That victory buries one of your powerful agents and gives birth to a very powerful one for the Free. With the rank of Assassin from the artifact, and better than Nazgul stealth, it will be YOUR commanders feeling the sting from now, not Gondors.

Cirdan laughed in the face of your agent. Soon little Kiko will be rotting in the prison we will prepare for him in Gundabad.

Pitiful Murazor, scrounging for crumbs in Arnor. Another telling sign. Our camps are so plentiful, perhaps we should transfer the poor beggar one.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

Poor, foolish elf. I now have the time to devote my full energies to this game.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

You will NEVER recover the Ring of Wind.

[benmin18]

Yeah, right. Just like we'll never take Shrel-Kain, oh wait, we burned it to the ground.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[RKFloyd]

I'll trade you Dírhael for Ring of Wind!

-Ovatharuss
Wheelin' and Dealin'

[Fletch]

Yeah, I'll trade a few palty NG commanders for it?

Then I can use it to kill the Dark Lt......I mean the Noldo....right Noldo thats what I meant!!

Shoglic - Scribe of Ji Indur
Who's flaming skull is effecting his throught processes!

[Gildring]

Dendra, you are in greater danger than you realize. The Sinda army at Morannon is just the first wave. You might not have time to recruit before the second and third waves flood Mordor.

-- Gildring

[murmur]

Can`t you attack DOL GULDOR instead? I`ve got some HC to recruit and i really can`t be bothered repulsing some tree-lovers with effeminate ways and greedy fingers. tell you what, if Fingolfin leaves this turn i won`t assassinate him after the battle?

DENDRA the bored

[RKFloyd]

<<The Sinda army at Morannon is just the first wave. You might not have time to recruit before the second and third waves flood Mordor. >>


* Dear Gildring,

This is a very frightening series of events you have spoken of. Could you be more specific concerning your plans and your team's plans in general? To instill fear in us, I mean. Yes, fear!!

-Ovatharuss
King of Khand and Umbar

[Gildring]

When dealing with Sauron and his minions, I think it best to mix fact with falsehood so that the Enemy gets tangled in the web of dreaded truth and deception.

As for being more explicit, I'm sorry to remain vague at this time. I would hate to ruin the surprises we have planned for you.

For now, your spirit mastery squad will be countered by ours. Your agents will be countered by ours, who have matured nicely until now. And your armies will soon be matched by ours. Militarily we will continue to press our advantage. It is difficult for me to see how the DS have any real superiority at this point.

-- Gildring

[RKFloyd]

Vargaelas was standing on the deck of his ship gazing over the bay at the cityscape of Caldûr when he heard the warning bells. Another sandstorm was approaching! The Winds from the East had been unusually active lately as if they were stirred by some Great Power. He turned his gaze and saw the approaching storm. But something was wrong. This storm was different. It was darker than usual . . . almost black . . . and it appeared to have wings! Terror siezed Vargaelas as realization struck him.

"Raise the anchors! Sail away!!!" Screamed Vargaelas. "Ovatharuss, Lord of Sand and Dragons, has come to claim our souls!!!!!"

[benmin18]

Gee, the Corsairs have certainly wandered quite far from their homelands. Soon the Havens will be burning and you fools will still be trying to figure out how to get into Mordor.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

The slaves of Sauron have lost a city in the north, as we said they would. And the Free will win battles at Osgiliath, Morannon, and Minas Morgul this fortnight. The Lts. are therefore foolishly mistaken: the Free are already IN Mordor.

The DS strategy of killing a few Free captains will only serve your ruin. As for the Corsairs, they will inflict greater damage than they themselves have suffered.

Meanwhile, nations who have not even been touched, but grown to great power, will make sure you pay a severe price for concentrating on Gondor and the Corsairs.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

Bah, North Gondor's running out of commanders, I know that. Funny thing about armies, they don't operate well without them. After that, it's easy as pie to pick them apart.

And you might want to count your chickens before they hatch, little elf. You have no idea what awaits you inside Mordor. Better yet, we'll just come out to play.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Fletch]

The Black Gates of Mordor have yet to open. When they do, all mortals will quail as they witness the might of Sauron The Great! Run to your Havens while you still can. Only the West remains to you. Middle Earth is ours!

Perhaps the loss of Gondors finest is no loss to you, but I am sure that the men would disagree. They know now how our Masters enemies are punished. Take care for perhaps soon they will join our cause and recognize the Elven treachery for what it is!

Shoglic

[Gildring]

Where is the herald for Dendra Dwar? Perhaps he is ashamed to show his face because he knows that his army will be routed outside the gates of Morannon this fortnight. You are severely overmatched there Tonn Varthkur. And despite your promise, the elven captain has escaped assassination and joined the ranks of those newly-arrived Free armies.

Whether or not the Black Gate goes under siege will be OUR decision. We have already shown that Dol Guldur is our plaything when we wish to exercise our will upon it. The same will soon be said of other so-called strongholds of the DS.

And does the Lord of the Nazgul assume Minas Morgul can be secured of such a fate? We have the advantage there also.

The Fire King and Dark Lts. have proven to be ineffective wardens of Mordor, since the Free have now several thousand troops in those mountains.

To the citizens of Riavod we make this last announcement: abandon that city now while you can.

-- Gildring

[RKFloyd]

Gildring said ".... will make sure you pay a severe price for concentrating on Gondor and the Corsairs. "


* You call the small suffering I alone have inflicted on the Corsairs a "concentration" of DS power? It's good to see an Elf who realizes my greatness. But be sparing on the flowery adjectives for now . . . I want you to have some words left for the incredible feats we do in the future!

- Ovatharuss
Mummy-King of the East

[Gildring]

Ovatharuss,

Before the end of summer, the DS will have completely lost the Sea of Rhun area to the Free. We have only to take Riavod and the island, then the deed is done. This loss is due in part to the absense of Khand forces there. That was all my last message implied.

As to the suffering inflicted upon the Corsairs, I agree with you: it IS small. But I doubt you will have much chance to cause greater damage since Khand will soon be alit with war.

The Free will not sit idly by after conquering Rhun. The spill-over comes your way. Given the circumstances, you should turn to defending your lands rather than foolishly attempting to conquer the Bay of Balfalas.

-- Gildring

[Fletch]

So the Elves reveal their true plans! Conquest! Sauron the Great always had suspected such. A pity that the Men of the West couldnt see past your lies.

You can continue to dream all you like about conquests and vast empires while you sit in your tent and await the end of the world!

Shoglic
Prophet of Doom

[Gildring]

Yes Shoglic, conquest. And when we burn your cities to the ground, it is only your unconditional surrender that we will accept.

This will happen sooner than you think.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

I look forward to standing over your shattered, broken body, wretch elf...

- Urzahil, Man of Sauron

[murmur]

Sorry......about the late reply, Gilders old-boy. I was sunning myself at Adunaphels Dacha by the shores or the Sea of Nurn. No time for writing, relaxing and entertaining being the order of the day. My lackeys however seemed in something of a panic so i headed home to help clear up the little elven infestation we had. Seems there was some threat of a suicide attack that "would financially cripple us". I don`t tell my underlings about my secret khandian bank accounts for a reason, but needless to say the nation was in no real peril even if the pointy-eared conspiracists succeeded in reaching the hallowed walls of morannon! Hopefully that`ll be a warning to the rabble who have appeared to challenge me this turn, even the old cripple THEODEN. now i bet HE won`t suicide, will he...that`s what HIS lackeys [like BUGRUG] are for...


DENDRA the Lush.

[Gildring]

Not sure I buy the "secret khandian bank accounts" you mention. That would have to be a large bank to fund the pathetically poor Ice King, Witch-king, Dragon Lord, Dark Lts, Rhun Easterlings, and doubtless others. If the Dog Lord needs gold as well, the Dark Servants are in serious trouble in deed.

Survive a while longer. I want you to live long enough to see the splendid cavalry the Noldor will send from the armories of Imladris.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

I scoff at elven cavalry, faeries that ride ponies...

- Urzahil, Mouth of Sauron

[roberto]

Osgiliath has fallen, and three men of the east are no longer free to roam everywhere...

So far so good

R.

[benmin18]

You still around? Sheesh...

Some bugs never die no matter how much you squash them. How's the new digs? We'll be visiting shortly. Oh wait, you're eliminated, that's right. Thanks for playing.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[helvorn]

Hey, maybe he means the three wise men...

Okay, all the DS launch in to a chorus; "we three kings of orient are..."

Ouch, that hurt. Nazgul can't sing for a damm. Be we are mighty sexy:D

Khamul

[Gildring]

Tonn Varthkur, Jyganoth, Meonid Ito, Urig the Easterling-- all humiliated on the field of battle and in chains. I hear Tonn Varthkur is receiving rough treatment, being slapped around after he attempted to escape his captors. We will give him a chance to renounce Sauron before he spends the rest of his miserable life in prison.

The Riders are penetrating south into the plains of eastern Mordor. And another army has pushed past the Black Gate, facing inferior armies at Carach Angren.

Elrond has taken the rich mines of Caravad. And Noldo lords roam the mountains of Mordor at will.

The Free have armies at Morannon and Dol Guldur. This fortnight we will rout the pitiful DS armies at the ruins of Osgiliath and firmly control all of Ithilien.

Agents of the Cloud Lord continue to bumble along, committing embarassing blunders in their attempts to assassinate superior Free heroes. I hear Denethor laughed in the face of Zaken who was foolish enough to show his shadowed face.

And Sauron himself has nothing better to do than harass a Free village. I can't see much for his slaves to take pride in.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

Let me get this straight, you get one army past Morannon and you're bragging? How long do you think those fools are going to last? Not very. Meanwhile you're already down one nation, and North Gondor continues to lose commanders left and right. They're running low, and that's not a good thing.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[Gildring]

Minas Tirith claims new Captains every month. Their heritage of martial excellence is well-established. And the markets that benefit your poor nations will also allow Gondor to name new captains as needed.

I'm glad to see you have fighting spirit, but the truth remains that the nations of Sauron are shrinking. Gundabad, Sarn Goriwing, and the entire Rhun area are almost completely within our power. We move upon Dol Guldur as we wish and fear NOT any movements from there.

The time will come soon when you feel our grip constricting around your neck.

-- Gildring

[benmin18]

The entire Rhun area? Uhmmm, right. You've got two tiny little armies and you have yet to take down Riavod. Man, you're delusional.

As for Tirith, it's hard to name commanders when you don't have any gold.

- Ben
Dark Lts.

[murmur]

Good day, minions of SAURON!

I`m speaking to you from an unidisclosed location. My good friend BUGRUG has invited me for a short holiday with his troops in the mountains. It was very kind of him and he even invited my bodyguard, Tonn, too! Unfortunately it doesn`t seem to be a hunting holiday as we were relieved of our lovely swords and can`t even find pointed sticks to amuse oursleves with. However i trust this brief sojourn into pacifism will soon end. However i do fear for the health of BUGGY. I hope he watches what he`s doing...BULRAKUR has an imfamous temper and doesn`t like hie leige to be absent from his court for too long...


DENDRA the vague

[Fletch]

We allowed Denethor to live a while longer, his love of fire will be his downfall.

The agents of the Cloud Lord seemed to "bumble" right out of Gundabad without any interference. Hmmm, I suppose the dreaded elven agents werent up to the task of finishing off one wounded minion. Alas, they must be about even mightier tasks, such as composing poetry in the forests or picking daisy's.

As for this "invasion" of Mordor we who serve the Master of Shadows fear not armies. We watch the fires spread from our perch in the cliffs. We see much and we know much. The doom of your minions is at hand Gildring. The Rohirrim may have entered Mordor, but none will live to see their homes again.

Shoglic
Scribe King of Ji Indur

[Fletch]

Well, so now we know Mr. Roberto is the dread Pirate. I thought you were the Northmen? Ohh right! I wonder how long it will be for you this time?

[Gildring]

The Blind do not see their own doom.
Your words reveal this to me.
Elven blades forged in Glosfana
will seal, as you read, your destiny.

From Gildring: The Noldo scribe who penned this poem knew that when it was delivered to me we would share a mighty laugh. And yes, the halls of Imladris lit with loud laughter upon my recitation of it. But orcs and slaves of Sauron are too dumb to understand Elven poetry, so it will do you no good.

You, Shoglic, should hold your tongue when you speak of the Eldar. You are far slighter than the least of us.

-- A scroll message presented by Gildring from the Master Elrond

[RKFloyd]

Gildring,

You don't want to get my team started on poetry. You've obviously never followed our strings from old games. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Roberto,

So you're the "Dread Pirate Roberto" now? Nice name. Good film reference.

It seems the Roberto-weed infestation is almost over!

Ovatharuss

[Gildring]

Has the presence of FP armies in Mordor stunned the Enemy into silence? Perhaps it is the looming loss of Riavod, or the inevitable recapture of Minas Ithil that has the DS at a loss for words.

Whatever the reason, the stranglehold continues unabated. Sauron's mightiest are being brought to their knees.

-- Gildring

[murmur]

How are 200 troops gonna take a major town like Riavod? Oh yeah, that`s right with the 200 additional you can recruit at 3916 every turn. Woo.
Minas Ithil? You`re gonna lose that battle. You know it. Musta been a bit of a shock to have 2900 corsairs vanish in the wind thanks to one well-placed knife, huh?

You forgot to mention your "inevitable" capture of Morannon!
Speaking of which, please don`t have Bugrug suicide the walls this turn, i`ve just had them painted. Also i wouldn`t like my captive brothers damaged by freep foolishness. Also the bank of Khand may be generous, but even they demand interest on their loans...

BULRAKUR, Hammer of Rhun.

[Gildring]

Bulrakur,

It should not surprise me that a DS commander could be so thick-headed and unimaginative. The capture of Riavod does not require any additional troops, since Noldo lords have a way of being very persuasive without large armies at their backs. It is enough that elite Dwarven infantry cleared the field and won mastery over the Easterlings there.

But since I don't intend to disclose our intentions, I suggest you raise whatever defenses you possess if you wish to survive the coming storm.

As for Morannon, it can wait. Since we routed your forces there and won the Gate, we will leave you your Keep for a while longer. It pleases us to have you looking so foolish atop the Gate with no army to lead. You will return to your kennels to raise another force only to have it routed once again. Careful you don't fall into the same fate as Tonn V.

-- Gildring of Imladris

[Fletch]

We have nothing to fear from silver tongued Elves.

This is simply the calm before the storm. Our master broods and contemplates your destruction. Soon, all will be revealed and you shall beg for Sauron's mercy! Pray he is lenient

Shoglic of Kal Nargil

[Gildring]

Do not think, scribe of Ji Indur, that assassinations will be enough to stem the tide that approaches you. With the Ring of Wind and Curufin's band, our agents will prove to be a match for yours. The loss of one of the Witch-king's lords at Gundabad should demonstrate this truth to you. And the loss of another DS commander this fortnight will be additional proof. Do not underestimate the deadly efficiency of Elven agents.

So far, the proficiency of Sauron's agents has been doubtful indeed. Carrog seems capable only of stealing gold from Imdorad, surely a sign of weakness or desperation.

We grieve for the ones who have fallen to assassin's blades-- Thorin II among them-- but every death will be avenged. As it stands now, our military prowess seems enough to capture your commanders.

-- Gildring

[Fletch]

Carrog's mission is no concern of ours. It simply furthers the greater schemes of Sauron the Great.

Enjoy your pathetic trinkets whilst you can. Our Lord will not allow you to retain them for long. The loss of one general in this war is a small matter. We have thousands who would gladly slay themselves if our master so commanded it. The orcs are multiplying and you cannot stem the tide. Your "victory" as you call it, is simply a stroll into the mouth of the jaws. Move quick, lest they close on you!

[Gildring]

Your nations are being eroded. Mordor is becoming a box where you will be enclosed, and when we close the lid, beware that our boots do not smash you to bits!

With Free armies and companies roaming the mountains of Mordor, the deadly aura of that place is wearing off. Carvarad and others are turning against Sauron!

-- Gildring

[Fletch]

Whats this? The Noldo have come to Barduath! Excellent. Your paltry attempt to take the seat of the Cloud Lords power will be revealed as folly this fortnight.

Foolish elves, that which you do not know will kill you!

Shoglic

[Gildring]

Shoglic, give your lord the following scroll:

Our prophecy earlier said we would seal your destiny, and now it is coming true. You have no hope in this contest. Araudagul is a paltry bootlicker compared with the Noldor who confront him. Will he accept challenge from one among our ranks?

Regarding Barduath, it is yours for a few more days. But the city is not safe! Flee to Kal Nargil while you can.

The conquest of Mordor has begun.

-- Gildring, Herald of Master Elrond

[Gildring]

We call on Celedhring to surrender and stand trial for joining Sauron and committing treason against the Eldar.

We will allow you face challenge instead, if that is your choice. But do not hide in Barad-dur. Before the end of winter, that place will be overpowered by the Free.

-- scroll from Master Elrond

[Fletch]

Hahahahahahahahahah!!! Fools! My Orcs are much tougher and more loyal than you gave credit for! Now prepare to perish!

Shoglic for the Cloud Lord

[roberto]

Riavod is burning...

Shrel-Kain is avenged

No more comments (for now)

[benmin18]

So what, the Northmen are still out.

[Gildring]

The hazing of Barduath will wait another day. The Free are now dominating Mordor just as we have completed control over Rhun.

Our DAZZLING armies appear as if out of nowhere and crush our dumbfounded enemies. Regent Bugrug stands tall within view of the Dark Tower, and Glorfindel will win two battles within the very heart of Mordor this fortnight.

The Noldor have stood at the gates of Barduath and walked away unscathed.

The signs are there for all to see. The fall of Sauron is imminent!

-- Gildring

[Fletch]

Stood at the gates of Barduath and RAN away you mean!!!! Some ancient and wizened loremasters they were. A few paltry defensive spells was all you could muster. We expected much more from Elrond and Erestor. So much for the vaunted and much touted skill of the Elves!

Ha! Armies out of nowhere? Perhaps, but we will find you. Or maybe we already have...........

Your petty horsemen are no match for the might of Sauron

You will all submit, much like the Northmen who now pay tribute to Sauron the Great!

Shoglic

[Gildring]

When you sit where Araudagal now sits, shackled and whimpering like a baby, then we'll see how much confidence you possess.

Your "loyal" orcs weren't much use on the battlefield, while Master Elrond and Erestor saw to the rout of Araudagal's army: 400 orcs lost to our handful of elite Noldorin.

We will master you again and again on the field of battle. You better come with more than mere orcs and their wooden sticks; we have mithril.

-- Gildring