Game 235 - Turn 27

[benmin18]

And what pitfalls await the Dark Servants? Stay tuned.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

Sarubrad,

At last, I got to meet your bonny lass, Emily, face to face! Well, actually, it was more like face to BACK, if'n ye catch my drift. Yargh har har har!! Who be needin' a stinkin' Cloud Lord when ya gots the King of Zombie Pirates on ye side? Aye, she'll make a fine addition to me ranks of Zombie Pirates! Yargh har har!


Enion,

Your army was . . . eh . . . less than impressive. I thought at last me lads would have a REAL battle in Gondor (MY Gondor), but egads, was I mistakin'!! Don't be gettin' me wrong, though. Enion's lads WERE magically delicious!! Yargh har har har har!!!! *belch*


Russangarunya
Your friendly neighborhood
Flesh-eating Zombie-Wraith
Pirate-King of Umbar-Gondor

[benmin18]

Russ, Russ, Russ...

You might want to ask how some of your teammates are doing, not too well from what I can gather. Yeah, we lost a few people here and there, but nothing compared to what you guys lost.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Gixxer]

Hello my little white-caped-smurf,
wait a little bit and be amazed !

Remember it takes some time to regroup.

What's about the "Secrent-Agent-Mouse-Costume" ?

I want to have it !

Allways Yours,

Gixxxer

( Tipple X, for the super-hero in me )

[benmin18]

Well, you're not going to be regrouping in Morgul, that's for sure. And sorry 'bout Gundabad, but I kinda like it now. I'll be sure to send you a bill for my redecorating services.

Nazgul suck...

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

<<Nazgul suck...>>


Couldn't agree more. They're all pretty lame (except for Gixxxer, of course). It's a good thing those crappy Nazgul have Gixxxer and the Zombie-Pirate to herd them against you pathetic freeps.

Russangarunya

[RKFloyd]

A long time ago, Sarubrad said:

<<Oh, you are very correct - Emily likes to take chances...are you game?>>

Yes, I am game. But Emily should consider a new game. Perhaps Glorfindel could be her partner? Oh wait, he's dead, too.

What's that? Yes, Daumdorût, I know you're grateful to be free from the clutches of that psychotic Em. Huh? Yes, yes, you thanked me enough already. Please quit hugging me. And take a shower. Wipe that yellow sand off your boots!! No more man-flesh for you unless you straighten up, mister!

Russangarunya

[benmin18]

Shyeah, please...

Ask Gothmog, Volog, Wally, Ethel, and Burazog how they're feeling...

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Fletch]

I hate sand....its so....sandy....


last words of Thorin before disappearing in Khand

[benmin18]

Bah, nevermind about Gothmog, he lucked out...

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

<<Bah, nevermind about Gothmog, he lucked out...>>

Yeah, I was about to say . . . .

Notice, Gothmog was the only impressive name out of your list. Oh no, Ethel died?! ::snicker:: Fair trade for Thorin, Glorfindel, and the blasted rat Emily.


<<I hate sand....its so....sandy....
last words of Thorin before disappearing in Khand>>'

* I told him not to eat that yellow sand! Do those nasty dorfs ever listen to me? Nope. They see a couple of camel turds buried in some yellow sand and it's like "buffet time!!!!"

Russangarunya

[benmin18]

Gee, Russ... do I have to go through the dead nations and characters again? Seriously, how often does the Cloud Lord get knocked out? By emmisaries nonetheless????

As I said, you guys lucked out, but your luck won't hold forever.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Fletch]

Its not the yellow sand as was the problem, so much as some upstart DS guy trying to think he was a Cloud Lord agent. But as Ben mentioned, the Cloud Lord is dead. Who's gonna do the dirty work now.....

We were just trying to buy some beer.....

[Player]

Enjoy your success. Emily was caught in a tryst with a lower caste soldier. She was sent on her "mission" intentionally. I have a new bride, haven't you heard? We'll attend to our "sorrow" intimately...and make a new Emily. Us immortals have lots of time to make lots of Emily's.

Sarubrad Proud Dad

ps - 1 disappointing daughter for the Khand? She did good on the field, too bad about her tent habits...

[RKFloyd]

Sarubrad,

How long did it take you to come up with that propaganda spin? I knew it would be good as you were a day later than the norm. Has your rapid-fire poison-tongue been overworked perhaps? Back to the game . . . I wonder whom you will lose to shadowy death this turn, eh?

Ben,

We may have lost a couple of nations, but at least we once had all nations active and had them contribute at least a little something. You have nations that may as well been dead turn 0 . . . like the Rangers. Or Gondor. Kudos to you and the other elves and that dorf player for carrying the whole team. And for carrying Saruman. Thank Darkness we didn't get him on our side!


This one goes out to all my Peeps and Pirates! Huzzah!
Russangarunya

[Gixxer]

Heyja Freps,
what's about your show at Barad-Dur last turn ?

I wasn't so succesfull, ooohh what a pity !

All this mighty cahracters there to take Barad-Dur and ?

It was a boring show, so many stars and such a poor outcome !

Russ,
thanks for the flowers !


Have fun !

Gixxxer

( Triple X for the super-hero in me )

[benmin18]

We needed a practice run before to work the kinks out, but now everything's set to go. And we're always up for return performances as well...

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Player]

Originally posted by RKFloyd
Ben,

Kudos to you for carrying Saruman. Thank Darkness we didn't get him on our side!

Russangarunya

Saruman is a chip no elven shoulder can bare. Keep bragging about the wench - you've earned the bickie after the year you darkies have endured.

Saruman the One

[Gixxer]

Oh,
the first attempt to take Barad-Dur it was only training, so let's train a little bit more.

Very impressive !

I've thought you're the overmighty Free and you've already won this game !

First attempt : bad A- and B-notes.

So try it again, while we're killing your chars !

Always yours !

Gixxxer

( Triple X for the super-hero in me )

[RKFloyd]

Suggest the Free practice taking Saruman's capital. We will even help. Who needs a whiny white wizard from the northern wastelands of Canada-Canucka-whatever anyways?? Let him go live with the Beavers.

Russangarunya
Zombie Pirates of the Carribean (a much better movie than that piece of Johnny Depp trash coming out soon)

[RKFloyd]

Now that you free are undoubtedly enamored with Victory Points after the big recent enlightening article in Bree, I thought it might interest you to know that I have 14,733 Victory Points. If you divide this up by 4 . . . or something . . . you can figure out . . .something .... carry the 1, divide by the cross-tangent . . . uhm . . . . . .I don't know, go read the article you illiterate, mathmatically-challenged pigs! And let me know how my 14,733 VP nation stacks up against your puny nations. I am STACKED. I recommend you drive market prices up as it will not matter due to my supreme wealth and power. Even my toilet is made of gold. Unfortunately, I have no functioning bowels anymore due to this "zombie" shtick. This causes me endless problems due to my love for cheese and raw eggs with almonds and broccoli.

P.S. Sarubrad, I am quite confident you will have the best chance of "winning" if you join our side.

Russangarunya

[Player]

"...in your closet and in your head..." - Aren't they torturing Iraqis with that stuff? You get me excited with the winning bit. I'll petition Clint for a 177 Coup D'Etat rule that allows allied nations to switch sides after turn 26. Gotta keep this game fresh, you know.

Saru-It's All About Me-brad

[RKFloyd]

At the least, Clint should give you a refund for joining Ben and Fletch's team. Cripes, I pity you.

Russ - yur daddy - angarunya

[Fletch]

What came first Johnny Depp or Russarungya?

Think you might have a law suit there....

Hmmm, maybe I should call up Tri-Star and see if they want to hit you with an IP violation!! Hmmmm, just think of all the free ME turns I could get with those kinds of ducats!!

Fletch

Dreaming the Dream of Dwarf Gold

[Gixxer]

Always the same with these Dwarves.

They're able to count their gold, but still have their problems with writing !

[benmin18]

Just as you'll have problems with keeping a capital...

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Gixxer]

Refering to this turn,
I guess you've had more problems to get them !

Barad-Dur, do you remember ?

I guess not, Freps are only able to think one step behind !

[benmin18]

Please, Barad Dur will fall shortly. As for Morgul, well, good to see you're not doing much to save it.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Gixxer]

Is's nice to see that you're not omniscient.

Always yours ( but not my cap ) !

Gixxxer

[benmin18]

We know more than you think... *Snicker*

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Gixxer]

I guess you want to say that you're thinking that you know more and not more ?

Have fun !

Gixxxer

[RKFloyd]

<<We know more than you think... *Snicker*>>


Indeed! I was quite suprised to find out Sarubrad knew how to tie his own shoes and that Fletch could "go potty" without any help from daddy! Next you'll tell me Ben can say almost all of his ABC's! What's this world coming to?!

Russangarunya

[Fletch]

We're a pretty amazing bunch sometimes!

I still have occasional accidents, so better hope I dont end up in one of your pop centers!

[Gixxer]

Yo, sailing dwarves that could amusing and not amazing !


Bye,

Gixxxer

[Fletch]

We, as the Dwarven nation hope some day to find access to the sea, build ships and find new sources of mineral wealth. Unfortunately, our trek through Khand yeilded nothing but sand. It seems we may have to march to Umbar and seize some of thier ports.

While experiments into the bouyancy of steel are still inconclusive, we hope to make some progress soon in this area.

Attributed to the late Thorin from his book
"Sand, Sun and Sea, the Search for the hidden Khand Ocean!"

[Gixxer]

Yes I know you hate sand, you can't eat it and it's difficult to clean the beards from the sand after you tried to eat it !

But you will hate the ocean too, maybe you get wet ( and hopefully cleaned a little bit !) but your beards will become matted soon and maybe we will see some "rasta"-dwarfs !

Only amusing and not amazing !

Bye, Gixxxer

[RKFloyd]

<<It seems we may have to march to Umbar and seize some of thier ports. >>


Pfaw! You're too late! Between my bumbling commanders and Sarubrad's lackey agents, all my ports are either deconstructed or obliterated! Ports? We don't NEED no stinking ports!

Russangarunya

[Player]

The End is Near. Your Trial by Fire isn't an act of cleansing for your benefit, but for Ours. Middle Earth and all therein shall soon pass to the Inheritor, and that is I. Mind you, if you can pick off as many of those nagging Elves before you die, I'd certainly appreciate it...

Saruman the One

[Gixxer]

I'm already quaking and shivering !

[RKFloyd]

<<The End is Near. Your Trial by Fire isn't an act of cleansing for your benefit, but for Ours.>>

Geez, Sarubrad, lighten up. You sound like "old-skool" Ben in his earlier days of mepbm. Fletch remembers!

Also . . .uh . . . a dark storm comes for your very souls. Er . . .I am that storm. I am the dread fire that will cleanse you of life and destroy your souls. And uh . . . . fire will rain down upon your firstborn and . . hmm . . . dogs and cats will sleep together! It's gonna be funky-evil!

Russangarunya
Not-as-good-as-Saruman-at-evil prophecies--old-school-Ben-style

[Player]

Ben had short-man issues in his last Cloud Lord game - he barked a good bark but could barely jump up onto the couch, if I recall. I kind of miss him, these cartoons and smurfs are my primary motivation behind asking you to kill him... ;)

Me? I have no issues. I am the One. I am Immortal. I SHALL Rule your peoples. I shall not rule YOU as I accept not the submission of the weak. Die content in the knowledge that the subjugation of your shattered tribal pomposity is for the best.

Saruman, Wound Tight for your Pleasure

[benmin18]

I like to think that I've lightened up and learned to be more effective with my agents... Give me another run with a Cloud Lord sometime and I guarantee I'll do much better.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

I hope I get to be FP in THAT game! :) :)

[benmin18]

Be careful what you wish for. I've made enough lives miserable in this game with the elves... Dog Lord, Dragon Lord, WK, Cloud Lord, Fire King, Quiet Avenger, well, hell, all the DS at some point have faced my wrath. I think the only DS I missed out on was the LR, and he bankrupted himself before I got going.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

I suppose you have a point (if a very small, insignificant one :) You have progressed. A little. :)

It's been enjoyable watching you learn and grow, my padawan student. Now, join with me, and we will rule the galaxy as father and son!

(sorry . . . been watching Star Wars all weekend . . . the OLD trilogy of course!! Screw that Jar-Jar / Over-active-hormone-Anakin stuff!)

[Fletch]

Hey, if Ben playes the CL again, I am all about playing the FP!! I hadnt seen so many agents doubled before or since!! (except for maybe this ga......oooops!)

He wasnt so much the Cloud Lord as the Sell-out Lord! And yes, I remember his ineffective doom and gloom prophesies!

Now back to my rants on sand and beer....ohh yeah and Umbar-delf. The new mine-kingdom of the Dwarves!

[benmin18]

Once again, I've learned from previous mistakes. I stand by my record in this game.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[Gixxer]

My god,
now they dig up again !
Are you always playing this way ?

There's not much to post at the moment and you're all digging into this poor smurf.

Not that I would be annoyed about this:D ,
do that further on !

Bye,

Gixxxer

[Player]

I'm only digging BECAUSE he's a smurf...I didn't mind the Transformers, but it's just been getting worse...

Saruman the Tasteful

[Gixxer]

Yeaph,
it's getting worse for you my dear "Player"

Wait and see as always !


Ha, Ha, Ha !

Gixxxer

[benmin18]

Well, Brad.. you could pick a cartoon for me.

- Ben
Silvan Elves

[RKFloyd]

How about Strawberry Shortcake? Would go nicely with your sissy elves! Though I prefer her cousin, "Cherrypie Shortskirt" !!

You could go with "Cowboys of Moo Mesa". A flop of a cartoon to represent a flop of a team!

Or how about the cat from "Kiki's Delivery Service." Why? He was voiced by Phil Hartmen. Phil is dead. Just like Emily and Thorin!

Russangarunya