Me 70

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
what do you think about playin' our game on this board too ?
Don't be too bad to our Frees next turn, they don't have so many Glorfindels.

Bye, Gerhard

[SMoyes]

Khamulia will grasp those freeps by the (*(%s no matter where they go!

Khamulia,
Wife of Sauron
Dragon Lord
ME70
She who spanked Glorfindel to death with her large purse (but, he wanted it):D :D :D :D
;) ;) ;) ;)

[Big Bad Bain]

Khamulia

I miss your big red lips from the other board


BBB

AKA
Matt
Rhudaur

[SMoyes]

Big Bad Bain,

Well, you know where I live (Dol Guldor for the direction challenged). Why don't you come and see me?

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

There we have a problem.

These smilies aren't as half as nice as the picture of our beloved Miss Sauron !

I'm not only missing these red lips. I'm always thinking of these unnatural blond hair and these shiny white teeth and these fangs, I'm dreaming of them.

[Zombie Rot]

<< Now Striding to the podium, adjusts soapbox to stand upon >>

So, the Dark Servants believe that they shall one day rule these lands of Middle Earth & cover all the lands in Darkness for the one called Sauron. I, Argeleb, say neay that the light shall be extinguished by your evil thoughts, words & deeds.

<< Waits until uproarious laugh from assembled Dark Servants subsides >>

While it is true that the Great Nation of Elves have lost a favored brethren in Glorfindel due to the treachury of Khamulia's evil purse..
<< ducks under swing of the dread purse >>
... these sacrifices & those that lie ahead shall be weathered as the growing storm of war engulfs our fair land until the light once again blesses our homes & your darkness becomes but a memory.

The great nation of Arthedain marches forward to expel the hated Witch King from the dark Cities (?!?!) of Angmar without fear of the Dread Handbag of Khamulia, Wife of Sauron, Giver of Pleasure & Pain, Holder of Multiple Titles...or the Hated Fish Hat of Urzahil or any other evil token of the Dark Servants that they may possses. It is only the One Ring of Power that holds true threat & that shall be denied to any whom serve the Dark Lord!!

<< Visible gulp - quietly mutters " We Hope " >>

In closing, I wish to state, that no mercy shall be given as none will be received, as Glorfindel sadly learned under the punishment of The Handbag. We shall fight on!! Your dark words are empty & meaningless.

<< Steps from soapbox, away from jeers & sneers of the assembled Dark Servants & before they begin throwing things >>

****************************
Greetings to all of MEPBM 1650 Game 70. Looking forward to a good game by all. 8 )
Mike M - Arthedain
******************************

[dranob]

FINALLY - a message board that I can USE! THANK GAWD!!!

Eothraim here - clever posts are not my forte, so let me just start by saying, it's nice to be playing MEPBM once again and I'm hoping for a fun game. Starting turns seem to have the dice in the DS favor, but hey... we went out and bought some new dice this turn so hopefully we'll make a showing in the one coming up.

Excellent job turning the Rhud this early and well done on Imladris. Hopefully we'll be able to offer you some similarly fancy moves and a good fight this game :)

*salutes* Will be in touch - now that I CAN be! Thank you to whoever put this board together!

-Eothraim

[Big Bad Bain]

Ahh that feels beeter. Imladris was an itch I just had to scratch.


BBB
Lord of Rhudaur

[SMoyes]

But I like the other one. Now no one can see my pretty face and you know that My Lord Sauron doesn't believe in fancy stuff.

Khamulia,
Wanting the Mirror

[Karatheya]

Hello Everyone!

*smiles*

I am happy to be on the message boards. I am looking forward to a great game. I wish you all the same. We will talk more soon.

*waves*

Karatheya
Northmen

[Zombie Rot]

Karatheya,

Shouldn't that be... North Peoples

Argeleb - Arthedain

P.s. Watch out for Khamulia's handbag. Glorfindel forgot to duck when the lights went on at Imladris! :P

[SMoyes]

How do you get those faces over here?

Khamulia
Sad to be without my face:confused:

[SMoyes]

AH HA,

Got
I my face back, Freeps watch out:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Khamulia

[Big Bad Bain]

Arewen eat your heart out


grrrrrrr

BBB

[Big Bad Bain]

Khamulia

Can I borrow your purse for a turn or two?????

BBB
Lord of Rhudaur

[SMoyes]

With or without the bricks?

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hellooooho Khamulia,
do you know what this Argeldepp meant with this "dark words" ?
Did we ever used "dark words" ?
So far I can remember we've done "dark deeds" but never used "dark words", or not ?

Must be the thin air there in the heights of his soap-box, he must have meant "dark deeds" !

And further on I DON'T POSSESS A FISH HAT, if you want to slander me you better take care when you step from you soap-box next time, maybe you'll find a piece of it's content's nearby and be sure it will be WET.

Nice flight, Urzahil

P. S.
Khamulia what do you think about collecting heads instead of hats ? Do you think the head of this Argeldepp would look fine over the fireplace ?

[Zombie Rot]

<< Now Striding to the podium, adjusts soapbox to stand upon, checks around soapbox looking for wet spots >>

My dear Urzahil

I don't beleive my head upon your mantel above the roaring fires of Barad-dur would look very nice indeed. :( Not from my stand point at least. The good loving people of Arthedain would certainly not enjoy it either. Besides, I beleive Gothmog would want to use it for a football or some other silly use as such & that would not do at all either!

In rebuttal, yes! yes! you did use 'dark words'. Not you for say, but that Khamulia certainly threatened to grab umm,... where ever we went. Certainly ' dark words' to us free people who value such things & I value my palantir's very much.

While on the subject of heads, please ask Khamulia to keep Odagavia's intact so that we may mount a rescue mission to save him. Oda' was a very good story teller around the campfires at night & we shall miss his yarns. Also, I should like to state that I hope Cykur gets well soon although I don't think Burazog shall be so lucky.

In closing this address, I invite all within range to join me at Carn Dum shortly. I see Hallas has arrived before me & that Durkarian has a small welcoming group together for him. I hope Murazor has time to greet me at his new City & show me the sights. I'm bringing quite a group with me & I'm also bringing him a little castle warming present as well. Hope he has the extra beds. I'll wear my mittens, I know it's cold!!

Off to war, will write again soon.

Argeleb of Arthedain

[rocketmandb]

I just found this board and wanted to drop in briefly. Good battles so far and more yet to come.

Darren - Long Rider

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,
I can understand your point of view concerning the head over the mantel, may be you're right.

What do you think about a shrunken head ?
You would be in good company with Argirion and Elatar and we would have the big advantage that it wouldn't take away so much space. You must know, I hate this swanky show-cases.

Your idea with the foodball ( do you mean a soccer-ball or an American-football ? ), it's also great and so easy to achieve, we only need some white and black colour and than we could start the first soccer-game Free People vs. Dark Servants.


Well, can't speak for the Witch-King but there would be the great danger that he won't hear you knocking on his door and won't let you in.
Better you take some extra units of blankets with you in the case you have to sleep in a tent outside the city-walls, it's really cold there, even polar I heard, otherwise you could catch a cold and that would ruin your fresh complexion and we don't want to have a pale shrunken head, don't we ?

Khamulia will speak for herself, I hope. I don't know about her plans with Odagavia.
Maybe she is delaying a little bit because she needs to fresh-up her natural blonde.


Nice to thear from you Argeleb greeting to you and Javier,

Gerhard ( DaLi )

[SMoyes]

Gents,

Odagavia's head is mine, I am just enjoying watching his eyes roll too much to separate it yet, but rest assured, I will. When I do, I think I'll place it next to Glorfindel's. Just imagine, an Elf and a human; all I'll need next is a Dwarf! Watch out Bain, I'm coming for you!

Khamulia
Collector of Freep heads:)

[Gixxer]

Greetings Warlords,
looks like the Free have lost their tongue.

They should better have heard on my words.
It's polar there in the north and you can easily catch a cold and sometimes you will get a sore throat with the cold.

So we will only get pale shrunken-heads !


Gixxer

[Gixxer]

Helloho Khamulia,
please stop looking so fascinated on Odagavia's rolling eyes.

At least you should unpack the handbag and let him confess his good deeds.

Bye, Gerhard

[dranob]

*uses sign language*

One learns more with their eyes than with their mouths - for we are gifted with two eyes but only one tongue. Take that tongue and make us rely on our other senses all the more... but take our heads... and we will reply in kind.

An eye for an eye...

A tongue for a tongue...

and the next thing you know, you're french-kissing a nazgul.

*The mute messenger flees before his head can join his tongue.*

-Eothraim

[Gixxer]

Oh, not all of the free lost their tongue,
looks like they found a poem they can use for their words.

Hey Dranob, who has written the original ?


Thanks for the compliments, I hope the french-kiss Aluiric had was okay ?


Bye, Gixxer

[dranob]

*shrugs*

Dunno for sure... I'm told it was some poet from Goblin Gate.

*checks the pike on the Dwarf's walls*

Yep... Goblin Gate - that was it.

:)

[Zombie Rot]

<< Strides to the podium, looks around for soapbox & wonders who may have stolen it, shrugs & tries to speak over the podium >>

My dear Urzahil,
Thank-you for your due consideration concerning my head. Shrunken or otherwise, I still am rather fond of it, attached to it you might say & it wouldn't really take up too much space on your mantle should events proceed in that dreadful direction. I'm just concerned about the football aspect seeing as I had heard someone tell of Gothmog's appreciation of such things.
Upon circumspect, I believe that Murazor was a bit busy & I decided to visit at a later date. I asked Morwen to please send my reguards but Ashdurbuk decided to come to her camp instead. Very nice of him as we didn't pack enough blankets in our haste to move to Carn Dum. Things are quiet busy up here in the North so I apologize for my delay in speaking to all of you Dark Servant types here at the Forum.
It's good to see that Uvatha has decided to grace our little gathering of Esteemed Leaders, Vassels, Emmisaries & Servants ( ELVES for short ). I was beginning to wonder about this tongue thing you mentioned earlier. Are there those amongst your side that wish to merely hold theirs or is this a hobby of one of theirs, collecting tongues that is? First heads & now tongues! Are any body parts safe?!?
On the subject of tongues, I see that the Rhuduar have decided that actions are louder than words. First the treachury at Imladris & now moving his armies towards Cardolain & I. Surely now a vassel of the Dark Servants although suspected all along. The Free people of Arthedain deplore such actions & shall strike in return once the mighty Murazor is dealt with. Surrender now Rhuduar or face the consequences someday in the future!
In closing I wish to add that it is much apprecaited of Khamulia to keep Odagavia safe & entertained for a while. Please inform him that help is on the way.
The war remains, the Free shall prevail!

Argeleb of Arthedain
<< steps away from podium, looking for plastic drop cloths that might be used to prevent staining of the carpets >>

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,
you're right with this tongues-thing and I must excuse me for my DS-fellows.

The reason is the pale light of the full moon outside.
At this times the Nazguls are too busy, even to answer your message.
Let them find their victims to drink their blood and they'll be back soon and listen to your words.

Now it's time for me to follow the call, more when the full moon has gone.

Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Who's next in line to receive the "Purse"?

Khamulia
Dealer of Death in a handbag

[Zombie Rot]

<< Strides towards podium, stops, notices claws & bite marks upon podium, looks up & checks phase of the Moon, decides to stand to the side of the podium >>

Free Peoples of Middle Earth & those that have yet to declare their allegiance.

Beware that Khamulia, Wife of Sauron, has once again threatened to unleash the dreaded Handbag of Death upon our unsuspecting leaders. Duck & Cover! I, Argeleb, leader of the free peoples of Arthedain shall hunt down & relieve Khamulia of this wicked weapon & bring it to Mnt. Doom where it shall be cast back into the fiery pit from which it came & Uhhh... Oh, sorry, wrong artifact.

Free Peoples! Fear not the Darkness of the Handbag! Fight on!

Argeleb of Arthedain

<< whistfully studies podium again for a moment, then strides off >>

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

You SHOULD fear the Handbag.

One of these days your going to stride to the podium and I'll be hiding there "WITH MY HANDBAG!!!!"

Khamulia
Wife of Sauron
Bearer of the "HANDBAG OF DEATH"

[Zombie Rot]

<< Enters the forum, stops, stares at where podium used to be, now missing, sighs, starts head count of gathered Nazgul >>

Hmmmm, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. Hmmm 8. Didn't think Elrond would lie about that. Oh, make that 8 & 1/2. I see Arfanhil has decided to make up his mind. Please, all of you Dark Servants, let me know when Arfanhil gets a full set of Dark Robes & his own Ring & I'll come to the ceremony. I'll bring the wine & crackers.

Well Khamulia, it wasn't one of your followers but I think Elrond feels the score is even over Glorfindel. Your turn again with the handbag. Feel free to swing away at those poor North People or Horse Riders, or even an odd elf or two. After all, Urhazil is looking to fill trophy space & I hear Barad-dur has a pretty big fireplace. I'm hoping to visit there someday soon. It's been pretty cold up here in Angmar & Urzahil was worried about my complexion, so a small trip to somewhere warm would do nicely about now.

Now, if we could only do something about those nasty mages pestering the poor Gondors. :)

Free people of Middle Earth & those deciding to stand for or against us. Be it know throughout the lands that the liberation of Angmar continues. Arthedain continues to wage war upon the dread forces of the Dark Servant Murazor & his vassels. A side note, Murazor kindly left the welcome mat out at Mnt. Gram & I'm afraid someone stole it from him. <Sigh> Thieves everywhere. Not a single gold is safe these days. Button your purses!!!

Oh yes, usual word of warning, Beware the Handbag!!!

<< Leaves the Forum, contemplating buying a new podium >>

Argeleb of Arthedain

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

Don't know if it's my turn or not, but my good buddy Ji has asked to borrow the murderous handbag.

Khamulia
She who shares

[Zombie Rot]

<< Posted outside the Forum doorway >>

Lost & Found

Lost
Track of Khamulia's handbag. Last seen in Mirkwood. If found, resist opening & counting heads & bricks inside. It makes the eyes roll.....

Lost
1 Podium. Podium has been clawed, chewed & beaten although rumored to possess a high shine when stood in the light of the Free Lands.

Lost
1 Soap box. May have wet spots about it. Use caution when stepping on or off of, especially with Nazgul around. Please return to Argeleb of Arthedain- 5 gold reward.

Found
1 hammer. Near former Nazgul body of Hoarmurath outside of Mordor. Owner to describe appearance for identification.

[Gixxer]

Greetings Khamulia, Greetings Argeleb,

Argeleb, I haven't found what you've lost.
You've lost a soap-box and a podium ?
You've lost much more, I guess.

One of you've found a hammer ? Belonging to Hoarmurath ?

First action of the free which was really remarkable or do you think you will write history in running against city-walls and losing commanders ?

We were too lazy last turn. Be sure we will take care the next turns, such a mistake won't happen again.

Elrond will be found !

The Dark Lieutenants

[Zombie Rot]

< Peers into forum room for quick check, sees no Nazgul present, pushes new podium while carrying new soapbox to the front of the forum, clears throat, addresses those assembled >

Citizens of Middle Earth,
The tides of war ebb & floe against the free people of Middle Earth. United we shall stand against the terrible onslaught until the light once against shines over all the lands & the dark shadow of Sauron is but a memory.

Khamulia,
I shall find your wayward handbag within these lands & forever free those that desire the touch of such an evil weapon.

Urzahil
Take heed that Angmar is once again upon the verge of expelling the darkness there led by The Witch King & will avenge the revealing of Imladris & the death of Glorfindel. The Heroes of Arthedain & Cardolan shall throw themselves into battle against the very walls that were once thought unassailable to their deaths to free the lands from the darkness.

The next battles are about to be waged & the free shall prevail again.

< steps from podium while running hand across it's shiny new surface>

Argeleb of Arthedain

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

You have your podium, I have my purse. Let's see who can ride into battle with their weapon. I've already killed with mine, have you killed anyone with your podium? (besides your audience, that is).

Khamulia
also known as "Death in a Purse"

[Gixxer]

Oh yes the story of the great heroes, but now dead heroes of Arthedain and Cardolan, not knowing that city-walls are harder than skulls.

Hey Argeleb, looks like your twaddle will make your own heroes stupid in the head !
Or another explanation could be, that they fear you and your affectation in a kind of way that has driven them into suicide !

Please don't start again with something like " they've done it for the freedom of Middleearth ",
I say : " their dead wasn't necessary ".

If they've died because this distinguished little upstart named Argeleb has sent them into a battle they can't survive, be warned people of Middleearth he won't hesitate to do the same with your lives !

You're fighting for a free Arthedain you've told us,
you're fighting for the riches of Angmar which you're desireing !
That's the reason for your war !

Or can ypu explain why you attacked Angmar on turn one ?

Don't tell us something like : you only have wanted to prevent an attack of the Which-King. We only would laugh about it !

There are enough leaders who wants to tell us something about the "bad nations" which are dangerous and needs to be eleminated to prevent them doing ?????.
The truth is that these leaders are keen on the riches of these "bad nations" and it looks like you're one of these leaders.

( But maybe your heroes were only stupid at head because of your twaddle, maybe )

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

The "Real" reason that the "so called" free attack the peace loving peoples of Sauron is that you listen to the false propaganda sprewed forth from the real warmonger--Elrond. It is him, and him alone, that causes this war. He is a racist, he is deathly opposed to anything that doesn't have pointy ears. You should hear what he says about the dwarves (they're too interested in their mining) and the humans (the blood of Numeronor is all but gone). He only supports the elves and spews forth false propaganda towards the true equal opportunity employer in Middle Earth--SAURON!!!! Our lord Sauron doesn't care if your elf, dwarf or human; if you join him, he treats all the same. The same can't be said about Elrond, where is he? He stands back in his safe havens and utters nonsence about magic and sends forth you humans to take the bulk of the punishment that we have to deal out to protect ourselves.

Argeleb, I would step back and ask myself, "Why are my people dying when the elves are sitting back in their safe places goading us on instead of beside me?"

That, is the real question, and you can take that to the podium (bank).

Khamulia

[dranob]

The real reason Argeleb moved on old Witchy was because he was told that the Handbag (note the capital "H") was made from the skin of his only daughter. Now that MAY have been a rumor contrived by elves, but you really didn't expect him to chance that, did you?

Now kindly step back... away from that podium... put down the soapbox... and please, please have pity on the Arthedain who have lost their precious princess to the Handbag.

Of course, you could always return his daughter - he'd look great with a handbag.

*snickers*

[SMoyes]

Well DranoB...

So THAT was who that trollop belonged to! I found her alongside the road waiving a red latern at all the Orcs marching by. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me to get lost. Well... Being the wife of Sauron doesn't make me one of the most tolerant people, so I decided right there and then that she was only fit to stuff things into (I mean, like bricks and stuff). And VIOLA, the Handbag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Khamulia

[mgrazebrook]

Ah, so THIS is the Forum.

Ren would like to thank the Free for their cooperation. He was touched and honoured by their generosity in handing over Minas Ithil unopposed so early in the game.

We are glad to be able to report that the folk of the Ithil pass are propsering; North Gondor has generously supplied a constant stream of slaves for our arenas and industry as one commander after another came along and give up the ghost. And now you send us more.

North Gondor have surpassed themselves once again again with this weeks entertainment at Osgiliath. As you know, the Ithil pass makes a vast and natural arena. But even so, the best seats are already sold out.

Our survey team last week was heartened and gratified by the welcome of the good folk of Osgiliath, who generously supplied wine and beer in plenty. The women of the town were most accomodating, and there was much talk of the new prospects once we take over administration.

In a spirit of gratitude and teamwork,

Ren the Unclean

[Zombie Rot]

<< Hurriedly enters Forum & strides purposefully to the podium, notes that the soapbox has been well used of late >>

My dear gathered adversaries. Please let me assure you that neither riches nor Elrond drives the desire by all that stand free to see the lands of Middle Earth free from the enslavement of Sauron. I ask you, can you pull that ring from your finger? NO!! is the answer, you all desired that tiny baubble & look what it got you! Immortality & a lowered wage scale!!! What benefits are those? Now here at last war is once again waged & we, the free loving people, shall insure a proper rest for each & every Nazgul. Look how peacefull Hoarmurath is now. His blessedly still form lying beneath the warm sun once again, until what little remains has past into memory forever.

Now, as far as the reason my daughter had taken to adventuring & ran a foul of the abomination Murazor was she still beleived the fair lands of Angmar to be unblemished. Now alas, the horse's mouth has revealed the truth of her undoing. Khamulia, it is with a heavy heart that the people of Arthedain ask for a return of their true princess in whatever form she now possesses & we shall be swift in our justice upon the maker of the Dread Handbag of Doom, his vassels & those that hide in closed spaces coveting such items or the pain/pleasure inflicted by such. A mutual meeting point I'm sure can be arranged. Or perhaps I shall visit soon at Dol Gulder as soon as I am finished here conquer...errrr liberating Angmar in the name of the Free People.

Lastly, a warm welcome to our new arrival Ren, who kindly brings news of war from his arena. Ren , I ask, why such a high price to enter for your pleasure? Speak to Khamulia & you shall see, the leaders of Arthedain are just dying to fight!!

In closing, I shall once again proclaim the glories of the People of the Free Lands & denounce the darkness of Sauron.

I return to the war, what little remains here in the NW. I shall ride shortly to help liberate Mordor as well!!

Argeleb of Arthedain

[mgrazebrook]

Hmm. The leaders of Atherdain. Weren't they the ones we saw running away on the far horizon? Of course, at that distance, it's hard to tell. Mostly hidden by dust, in truth.

But truth be told, while the gladiators of Gondor provide excellent entertainment as they die for our pleasure, it WOULD be nice for some other tribes to enter the arena. Some cavalry would be nice, yes, cavalry against trolls - that'll get the punters in.

'Tis true that the prices for the best arena seats are high, but only because the entertainment is so good. But there's plenty of cheap space up in the Gods!

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

Surely you jest. Saying that you are winning in Angmar and thinking that you'll get my purse (I mean, your daughter) back, not only is it not happening, but it will NEVER HAPPEN.

You must be eating those mushrooms that grow in the cow pens.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hey Argeleb,
from what are you dreaming at night ?

Oh yes, I forgot, you're dreaming about conquering Angmar and to get back the demonic handbag, former known as your daughter.

May be I can fullfill your second dream !

I've got some really similar handbags.
( You must know that I'm selling them as souvenirs at Mordor and that since the time Khamulia has become so famous, the people become fanatic only for the reason to get one of this handbags. )
You only have to wipe out the letters MADE IN CHINA and you'll have back your daughter !

What do you think ?

Your nation won't realize it !
After all they've listened long enough to your intellectual emissions that they're stupid enough to blieve it .


I wish you some better dreams for the future !
I'm sure that if you're dreaming of your peace and the warm sun shining on your body, we can do much more for you than in the case of Angmar.

Some greetings to " uncle HO ", the speaking nag of Eothraim and please don't run away only for the reason I've pricked you a little bit.

Always yours, Urzahil

[Zombie Rot]

<< Enters messenger with dispatch in hand & hesitantly approaches the podium >>

Greetings all of Middle Earth, I , Bondan of Arthedain do bring word from Argeleb of our great nation unto you all. Please don't kill the messenger..

Ahem, < clears throat & reads message >>

I have heard that my words have yet again been scoffed at, ridiculed, & misused by the servants of the dark. Let it be known that the heroes of Arthedain do sacrifice to protect their lands & loved ones from the evils of Sauron & his vassels. These words I say unto those gathered here...

Ren, do not mistake tactical manuevering for retreat. Arfanhil once thought so. I beleive he is learning the error of his ways these days.Imladris shall remain free for the rest of this war. I shall bring you my cavalry soon & the machines of war as well. Your walls are not as tall either.

Khamulia, you wily seamstress. How dare you peak at my mushroom patch. First you steal my daughter & now you covet my mushrooms. Theif!! Surrender Princess Fiona .... I mean the Handbag of Death!!!! She was once a good girl until led astray by the evils of the mushrooms grown in Angmar.

Urzahil, I sleep well at night knowing that soon Angmar shall be free again & I will soon move to fight the evils of Mordor. ( I'll also take 2 handbags, in a light brown if you will, that was the color of Fiona's eyes ).

In closing, Servants of the Eye, know that the Great Nation of Arthedain & it's people will fight this war without pause until the lands of Middle Earth are Free & their handbag restored to her rightful place by her father's side ( or shoulder, whichever is comfortable & in fashion this season ). As a token of my resolve you may kill the messenger.

Argeleb of Arthedain

<< messenger drops letter with fearful look & flees the Forum >>

[dranob]

*gasp!*

Run away? Tut-tut... I merely had to take a moment away from our games. I apologize dearly, Master Urzahil. It seems there was a peasant uprising in one of our fine towns that needs to be put down immediately. They apparently heard rumors that some ancient tribes went to Helm's Deep for some grand battle, and some lousy White-Robed wizard was there. Frankly, I think Gandalf is retired and only signing autographs and copies of his latest book, "To Hell and Back - It wasn't the destination But the Journey." I've read it - don't waste YOUR time too.

Elrond has taken up writing as well - it's no wonder that we haven't seen him in the battles of late. The inkstains on his slender hands are testament to his newfound hobby. His latest, "Breaking the Ice" was popular on the other side of the mountains, but alas, most of the peoples of Rhovanion are illiterate and choose to consult bones rather than books. Fortunately, thanks to you and your canine friend, there's been no lack of those.

How much for one of those Handbags, by the way? My dear friend Bain was asking about one for his wife.

Lastly, if you could, please direct your attention to the elves. I know the Nazgul aren't picky as a rule when devouring flesh, pilaging towns, etc etc... but I mean REALLY.... NOone likes elves. Although I've heard that with the right recipe, a nice Noldo Flambe can be made in relatively little time and a Sindar Sauce accompanies it nicely. Mind you, that's only a rumor that one of our emmissaries picked up, but I like to help where I can.

I look forward to returning from this minor inconvenience (the peasants) and to playing with you all again soon.

Yours Truly,
Mahrcared

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb, greetings Mahrcared,

Argeleb don't fear about Bondan, I won't kill a messenger who is already dead.

By the way, where you learned to resurrect him ?
I would give you the two handbags, two fillings for the bags and one extra handbag for the family-album only for one resurrection-spell , for sure you can choose the colour of the bags, isn't that generous ?

Now back to the theme and at this point I must tell you that it isn't really funny to "play" with zombies, they won't scream or/and roll with their eyes while playing with them.

All in all playing with zombies would be boring and I hate boring games. I prefer to look for some targets which are still worth to play with.

I've got the impression that we've already talked about your head ?
Please consider the advantages you would have without it,
for example you will have these nightmares about Angmar and your daughter or better handbag never again and further on you haven't to brush your teeth before going to bed nomore.
Also the question of a fitting helmet or hat is answered forever.
What do you think ?


Mahrcared, I'm sorry at the moment I don't have enough handbags of top quality. I can offer you some bags of second quality instead, there are only some more knife thrusts in it.
What do you think ?

Unfortunately, I can't offer you a bag for your friend Bean, a dwarf I guess.
The grips of the bag are too long for dwarves, the bag would always drag on the ground !
I suggest to buy a trolly or something like that, but in this case you better should take a look into suitcase-shop.

Always Yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

My friend Urzahil said it all, ya'll don't need your heads, ya'll haven't used them yet anyway. Let's see, Argeleb, I could empty yours out and use it to store my lipstick, it would just barely fit in there.

What do ya'll think?

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hhmm,
posting your lipstics in it ?

I have planned to place it into my glass cabinet.

But I agree, posting your lipstics in it would be much more than what filled this head before.

Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Urzahil,

I only have one lipstick (it's bright red, the color of blood). Even so, one lipstick will more than take up the space that is vacant.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Khamulia,
only one ??

You're not hip !!
Don't you know that a brutal-pink is the colour of the months ?

Nevertheless, for only one lipstic I'll prefer to post the head in my glass cabinet and I'll pose a candle inside so I don't need to look for a new "Jack-O-Lantern" for next Halloween.

Urzahil

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
it's me once again.

One advantage of the new bulletin-board is that we can see how many people are reading this stuff.

I'm sure that some Free, Neutrals and DS of these game are reading it and also some other ?

So why not posting ?

Urzagixxer

[dranob]

Dearest Urzagixxer,

Thank you kindly for your insightful thoughts regarding gifts for Bain. I'll be proceeding to the nearest "suitcase shop" at my earliest opportunity... just as soon as I put down the peasant revolt in my lands. But I'm sure such things don't draw your attention, so I'll move on.

I was over in Mirkwood today, doing a bit of shopping. I was in a cosmetics shoppe looking to find some new and exciting colours for Dear Khamulia. They had Chaos Black, Petrified Grey, and a delightful Putrescent Green. But lo, when I went to make the purchase, the vendor told me my card had been overdrawn at the bank! I looked into the matter and discovered that either the IRS or some dark side Agents had been holding up banks in our towns! Can you believe that? I hastilly pulled out my Dunedain Express Card (I never leave home without it! ) and am pleased to say that the cosmetics will be arriving at Dol Goldur within 6-8 weeks. I hope she likes them!

In other news, rumors from the west say that the Rhudaur soiled his pants when Murazor arrived for tea. He didn't have any honey (Murazor loves honey, I hear) and rather than upset the Witch King any more, simply turned over his estate to him. Supposedly he is now one of Murazor's lackeys. Are the rumors true? I would have gladly purchased and sent some honey to him in the past months had I known it would come to that! (Assuming the IRS didn't pull that account too! )

Anyway - I ramble on. Happy Spring to you and yours.

Mahrcared.

[SMoyes]

Urzagixxer,

Did you see how nice that Mahrcared is? He's bought me make-up. Now, my sweet hubby, Sauron, says that I don't need it, but I do so love a bit of the lipstick, and now I'll have many colors. Mahrcared, I'll save one just for you. I'll only wear it when I'm pilaging your pop centers! Is that special, or what? And when I come for you...

Urzagixxer, obviously, Mahrcared has too much time and money. Perhaps we should alleviate this problem. I know it must of been an oversight on our part.

Khamulia
She with the new lipsticks.

[dranob]

You know... you do something nice for someone... *sighs* There's just no pleasing some people.

*gets out a quill and parchment and begins to write*

Khamulia,
Oh my sweet, sweet Nazgul-ette. You are the terror that flaps in the night. You are the sweet scent of death that raises a man's heart rate. Your eyes are like deep pools of lava and your lips, like twin succulent pillows, longing for love. I don't know WHY the other Nazgul haven't snatched you up for themselves. And Sauron must be mad to let such a shapely wraith as yourself run free on the town. Doesn't he know what covetous natures men possess? If not, then he is twice a fool - once for letting you run from his side and twice for letting you run to me. ALas, I could wait no longer for our courtship to commence. I need to feel the sweet touch of your painted lips soon! DO not make love wait, dearest death.

Your No-Longer-Secret Admirer,
Mahrcared.

[SMoyes]

Mahrcared,

Why, you know it wouldn't work between us, after all, I'm already dead (as you will be soon). Besides, you wouldn't like me after, because like the black widow spider, I'll kill any mate not strong enough to stand up to me, and so far only my lord Sauron has been that strong. Also, I can't stand the smell of horses, and you are the horse lord (or is that the donkey lord?).

Khamulia
She who everyone wants
But only Sauron can have
Bearer of the Purse of Death

[Gixxer]

Greetings Khamulia and Mahrcared,

Mahrcared, you're telling stories about dark-sided-agents holding banks at your town, I can't believe that !

You know we're peaceloving and won't do anything to annoy our beloved neighbours !

Maybe we've collected a tax for cleaning up the roads from the horse-**** ( and more ) your armies left behind.
Please be a little bit more carefull when you're visiting Thuringwathost next time !

Khamulia,
if you don't need the new lipstics and all the other stuff, please transfer it to Gothmog.
He told me that he want's to try out some new ideas with body-painting.
I don't know much about Gothmog's idea but I think it would be a good way for our beloved Mahrcared to see how impressive his make-up could be.

Always yours, Urzahil

[Jill Indur]

Greetings Warlords and -ladies,
the blood I've already tasted was red and warm ( and I can't get enough from it ),
like the greetings to the Free-People, I want to send from here.

Take Care !

Jill Indur

[Gixxer]

Very nice,
looks like we can spend all our gold for lipstics and make-up ?!

What do you think about a " Miss-Middle-Earth-competition " ?

Details like mud-catching and wet-t-shirts needs to be defined.

Let's have some fun, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Jill, Jill, Jill...

We all know who our lord Sauron voted for the Mordor Queen, it was me, but then you came along and I was banished to the stupid forests. Away from the sulfurous order of my beloved Mordor, away from the hot, desert like climate that I love so much. This is because of you, you who caught my lord Sauron's eye, you who look the love of my life away from me. I, who am second of the nine, foiled by the fourth of the nine. Curses, I'll have to make due with my princess skinned purse.

Jill Indur, you might think that I hold a grudge, but I don't. I know our lord is fickle, and soon he will tire of you too and you'll have to make due with killing and skinning our foes like I have to now. Maybe, it'll be that cross-dressing Elrond's who next catches our lords eye. I've seen Elrondnita in a palantir, and my-o-my, is she/he a knockout.

Khamulia
She who holds no grudge

[dranob]

*HMPH!*

Well, Khamulia, if YOU don't care for nice gifts, then perhaps Jill will! We'll just spend our money on HER from now on! We'll... oh BOTHER - someone's been in the danged vaults AGAIN! We really need to put better locks on them.

As for the errant horse-****, I promise, I'll go pick up a bronxe-plated pooper-scooper for each rider. I'm terribly sorry about the smells and such and appreciate you all making that extra effort to pick up after me in the past.

The peasant revolt was put down and we should be able to come play again in a few months, Urzahil. Apologies for the delay.

- Mahracared, Suitor to the 4th Nazgul

[Gixxer]

Greetings Mahracared !?,
a new donkey-king ?

How generous that you will keep your horse-**** back with your armies, unfortunately they won't come back, so it's my problem again and you'll have to pay the price for cleaning up the roads.

Fortunately you promised to visit me again in a few months, enough time to buy some new road-cleaning-machines.

Believe me that I would like to spend the gold more likely for new troops, but in this case the machines comes first.

If you would decide to come earlier, no problem.
I've got some extra entertainment, named Lamthanc, only for you !

Always yours ( as you already know ), Urzahil

P. S.

I can't peraonally await you, I'm busy but Gothmoc can show you his results with his body-painting.

[Jill Indur]

No no no ! It's not you spending your money on me, but if you've filled up your stores maybe it's time for a visit.

[dranob]

*chuckles*

Get in line, Jill... Din Ohtar has been seen at one of the local inns and the constables believe he might have had something to do with the recent bank robberies taking place in our fair towns! But TRUST me, Jill... diamonds are a girl's best friend, not golden coins! I'll find something appropriate and send it to you as soon as I can.

Now about Gothmog. I have some SERIOUS reservations about meeting ANY male orc who dresses in stilletto pumps and wears lipstick. The image is just too frightening to imagine and may keep me up at night in cold-sweat fear. I HOPE you're kidding, Urzahil. That's just too crazy to even joke about!

Your "ass" to the north,
Mahrcared

[Gixxer]

Greetings Mahrcared,
I guess you completely missunderstood that point with Gothmog's body-paintings.

He told me that he will try to use the lipstics for his new warpaint - creation " Running Zebra " or something like that.

By the way, I hope that your horses won't mistaken him for a real zebra, as always Gothmog haven't thought much about the consequences his idea could have, but it's his decision to perform it or not.

To bring it to the point :

You won't see Gothmog with stileto-heeled shoes or with lipstic on his lips !!

Maybe some lipstic on his forehead or his cheeks but not on his lips !

But I should think about your idea !

Gothmog with stileto-heeled shoes and maybe with a handbag and a suit made of thick woollen material, this would throw you complete army out of the saddle.

Give me more of such ideas and we won't have to fight with our armies any longer ( and that's something we should strictly avoid ).

Allways yours, Urzahil

P. S.

Take care about Jill, if you would give her the diamonds as a gift she would only use them to construct some new glass cutters and your gold will be away much sooner than before.

[SMoyes]

Sigh...

Since ya'll would rather play with Jill Indur, I guess I'll have to make me a new handbag.

Where's that slut Nimrodel?

Khamulia
feeling lonely and dejected

[SMoyes]

What?

No reply from Nimrodel? I know she's afraid of me. My beauty surpasses her (and my viciousness;) ).

So, where's Galandriel? I'll turn that fat cow into a suitcase.

Khamulia

[SMoyes]

EEK!!!!

We were in danger of going to the second page. That would of been a disaster of epic porportions (sorta like the disgraceful fall of little glorfindel).

But, as always, Khamulia and her purse of death saves the day.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Babe,
we're going back to the 2. page ?

I think we progress with our plans and we're not going back !

I can't do very much against the silence of the Free, maybe they've noticed that they can't win.

Forever yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Urzahil,

You were always one of my favorites, despite you not being a Nazgul and all. One day, don't worry, you'll be dead like us and we'll all party then, let's say at Rivendell, or Minas Arnor. We'll party so hard we'll bring down the walls, wait a minute, Rivendell hasn't any walls, and it isn't even hidden, in fact, it no longer belongs to the pointy ears! Well then, party at Minas Arnor!!!!:D

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
party at Minas Arnor that would be great !

Unfortunately I have some guests and I must get rid of them before !

I haven't invited them but now they're here.

Allways yours, Urzahil.

[SMoyes]

Urzahil,

Maybe we should have a quick kill party at your place? I could bring my purse and Jill Indur could bring her sharp daggers!! Ya, that's it, we'll meet at your place and get rid of those unwanted guests. I hear it's Elrondnita and his gay band that's came to visit. Gees, there goes the neighborhood.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
quick-kill-party would be great.
I hope we can invite my special guests to this party.

All the Best, Urzahil

[Zombie Rot]

Ahh, My Dearest Nazguls, With all this talk of a party, do not forget to celebrate the fall of Arfanhil's nation! Not even a worthy foe like Murazor. It was so easy to slip inside his vaunted, Do Not Move Here!! zone he declared to us. Arfanhil arrived home in time to watch his nation burn!!!! Pity. Arfanhil should have stayed home & coveted his petty semblance of a ring or was the plan all along to have him flaunt & threaten then be hung out to dry by the rest of the Dark Servants of Sauron??? Murazor now stands alone again & shall be driven from Angmar shortly. Keep your warpaint or lipstick fresh my friends for you never know when the Free People knives will strike. Poor Hoarmarath had nary a time to touch up his & was sent to his final rest looking a bit shabby.

Lastly, I should like to endorse the Prettiest of Middle Earth competition. I would send my daughter as a representative of Arthedain but alas we all know the story there. My vote will go to the sweet tongued Khamulia then, bearer of the Handbag, wife of Sauron, gazer of palantir, slayer of Glorfindel, owner of many titles.

This is all the time I have today! Please keep in touch, but not too close!!!

Argeleb of Arthedain

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,
haven't heard much from you during the last weeks, but it looks like your still alive !

Damned,
so the wet soap my agents placed nearby your throne doesn't worked. Not even a broken leg or arm ?

Must stop at this point, guests are waiting.

Good gaming, Urzahil

[mgrazebrook]

(Reverse of a stray post card from Minas Anor)

Dearest Gutrot,

Our armies are now camped around Minas Anor. The natives aren't too friendly, which is great, because they don't put up much of a fight either. We've so many for the arena, we hardly know what to do with them. Even Niggle, our half-crippled scullion, has a slave to help him. Last week, our captain challenged an enemy commander (who bore the strange name of Curses) to a duel. I didn't know the men of Gondor could run so fast! His armies didn't seem too impressed. The survivors seemed quite relieved to become slaves. I don't think anyone's told them about the arena yet.

Your ever lusting friend,

Maggotia

[SMoyes]

EEEEK:mad:

Had a ear ache (got someone's blood in it, I guess), and what happens? The forum thread slips to the second page!!!! This is a disgrace!!!! If this happens again, I will personally spank everyone of you with the handbag!!!

A very pissed,

Khamulia

[Zombie Rot]

My Dear Urzahil,

Thank-you for the concern of my health, unfortunately I have not had a chance to stop home & bath in my gold-plated porceline tub & am begininng to resemble Ren's monicar in some aspects. No rest for those who wage war, you know. It has been especially difficult getting the troll & orc bloodstains from my hand-tooled genuine leather saddle from all this war making in Angmar. I certainly hope to purchase a new saddle sometime before the summer march to Mordor. My old leathersmith has long since passed, perhaps Khamulia could see to a new one for me.

I have plans to visit you soonest Urzahil, or at least a few of my lesser commanders will, again, all my commanders are dying to wage war. It's an Arnor curse this bloodthirst of battle we have. We shall see after these next few manuveurs I shall make & Angmar has been liberated.

Say hello to Elrond for me, I here he is vacationing somewhere down there this time of year.

Yours in War

Argeleb of Arthedain

Lastly,
Khamulia, while I disdain the Dark Side, I shall endeavour to keep our Forum to the forefront with you. The words of the Free Peoples shall prevail!!!

[SMoyes]

Argeleb,

That's the submissive nature I like to see in a Freep. At least you know your place now, groveling at my feet. See to it that you stay that way, or I'll skin you for a brief case.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,
I'm really nor interested in you saddle, genuine laether or not there are much better ways to travel.

And for sure I'll get some much better saddles from the horse-farmers !

Nevertheless, I'm much more interested in your head than on saddles or etc...


You want to send some of your Coms to me ?

I've thought that you've already lost enough Coms !
You've got still some Coms you don't need ?

Why you want to send them so far only to lose them !
Murazor is waiting for them !

I'll bet that none of your Coms will arrive at Thuringwathost !

You mentioned Elrond and his gay-gang, what should I say ?
I haven't had the possibility to let him wellcome and to shake his hands.

Maybe next time !

Always Yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Urzahil,

Now I'm confused:confused: ; I thought Argeleb's head WAS his saddle (or at least the part that goes into the saddle).

Argeleb, care to set us straight on that?

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
maybe you're right !

But I'm collecting heads and not buts !

These buts aren't as decorative as the heads are !

Can you imagine to have a shrinken-but in your glass-cabinet ?

I not !!

Forever Yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

But Urzahil,

I can't tell the difference with Argeleb:confused: . Which is Which?

Khamulia

[mgrazebrook]

Argeleb of Arthedain,

How nice to see one of the so-called free deigns to write occasionally. Why not encourage your team mates to write?

Gutrot and his friends are enjoying their holiday in South Gondor.

Once again, he is impressed by the amazing speed of the captains of Gondor - again and again our commanders issue comradely challenges to a little sport. But none can catch them! All we see is a little cloud of dust disappearing over the far horizon.

Anyway, at least the town of Minas Artur can't run away.

Gutrot - well, he's something of a camp-fire philosopher at times - Gutrot was wondering if it's all those big armies we have. Maybe that's what frightens off the captains of Gondor. After all, matching horse to wolf and human to troll isn't really fair, is it?

One of our mages has been experimenting with a timing device - a sort of fast-burning candle which can time a 100 yard sprint to a split second. He wants to give it some field trials - the Gondor Sprint is becoming quite popular in the arena these days. But there are endless quarrels about who was fastest.

Yours,

Ren the Unclean

[Zombie Rot]

Greetings my fouled adversaries,

My falcons have been a bit slow of late & as I stated to Khamulia, I would assist in keeping this forum to it's proper high standing. However, if Khamulia insists in not recognising proper anatomy or nations, remember, we here in Arnor do NOT call ourselves the Horse Lords, that would be Macarared's arena. So this discussion about my well cared for & sculpted saddle sitter, which looks good in black silk PJ's, while appreciated, should not be the topic of our discussions. We're here to wage War!!!!

Now Ren has quite pointedly pointed out that few of my allies would respond to such talk of handbags, heads & buts, yet the rigors & responsiblities of cleansing Middle Earth of the Ring wearing war mongers often only allow necessary communictaions between our allies. However, I will endeavour to pass this simple request off to them all once again. Perhaps Macared's poetry a while ago scared them away or Nimrodel's party last week has many hung over still from so much elven wine & her fine silk, belly dancing routine. I managed to collect several layers from her last dance that left many of us agog at her stunning, naked beauty.

In closing I would also state that I find that with spring here someone has taken quite a shine to Mithril as it were. Was there an engagement that I missed? That will be some ring! Might even rival the one Sauron gave to his wife.

Argeleb of Arthedain

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,
first to the saddle and what is sitting on it.


Once again : I'm not interested in your saddle and what is sitting on it !

Not now !

Only in the case you will visit me, like you promised, your head and maybe some more could get interesting again.


It was me, who told you that I can get much better saddles from the horse-farmers and it wasn't your nation I meant with it.

It was indeed Mahrcared's-nation, I meant with it.

Why I should move to Arnor, when having enough targets nearby ?

Good gaming, Urzahil

[dranob]

*Arriving on the doorstep of the Dark Lieutenants is one package, wrapped in simple brown paper.

Opening it reveals, in fact, a "Shrunken-Butt Replica" of Argeleb's arse - and a short note.

"Heard you were looking for one of these rare beauties. Happy Muthah's Day. Your pal, Mahrcared."*

[SMoyes]

Come on now!!!!

I was just kidding, everyone can tell the difference between Argeleb's arse and his head, I hear the former smells better.

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Mahrcared,
yes you arrived at my gates, but will you win this match ?

I think we'll have a tough battle and that's what I'm playing for.

I have an enemy who's talking to me and who understands what the word " fun " could mean in this game.

I'm really happy about that !-


You won't succeed with you armies, maybe the Elves will help you with their characters like last turn.
Maybe they will fail, like last turn.

Do you know where Gothmog is ?

Write more often,

Allways yours, Urzahil

[Zombie Rot]

To my Dark Adversaries,

The eve of battle arrives once again & hard decisions have been made.

Yes Urzahil, I did state I would visit you, my preparations have begun to do so. Unfortunately Ji ( or is it Jill, we haven't heard in a while ) & company have arrived to pay me an unwelcomed visit. I am now inclined to give a proper reception. Let it be known that those who visit the Great Hall of Fornost Erain must do so with open invitation, not come slinking in through the back gate.

I am off to pay Murazor a little visit with a few of my trusted. He arrived too late to save poor Arfanhil. Or perhaps Angulion is going to say a few words about the treachury of that nation & the wrath that was shown upon it. Murazor should tend to his forces, a few visits from his southern friends will not stop the forces of the Free People from liberating Arnor. Though he has been a worthy adversary, Murazor's time has now reached it's rightful end.

Yours in war

Argeleb of Arthedain

[Gixxer]

Greetings Argeleb,

I hope you're able to do a little bit more than talking about your herioc dreams !

Come and visit me !!

Always yours, Urzahil

[dranob]

*A number of floral arrangements arrive with a note*

Urzahil,
I wished to send my sincerest regrets to you regarding Miruimor. I had heard there was some altercation between her and one of my men, Thuidimer. He has a bad reputation in our villages as a wife-beater and I can just see him now, calling out to poor Miruimor while wearing his stained guinea-tee-shirt and howling about feminist wenches. It's sad really - apparently all the rehabilitation we put him through didn't correct his problems. We will seek to take care of him for you and only wish sincerest condolences to Miruimor's family.

Sorrowfully Yours,
Mahrcared

*Another day later, the following arrives*

Greetings and Salutations, Urzahil.

Writing requires work, and you know how much work sweeping up after hundreds of horses can be? By day's end, I'm simply too tired to pick up a pen! But enough about such things.
I do know where Gothmog is and have heard tales of his fearlessness in combat and his high-heeled pumps and lipstick. I'm sure he is a fearsome presence on the battlefield and an even more fearsome presence in the bedchambers. I sincerely hope he's headed to visit Khamulia and not the poor people of the plains. I made mention of the Bizarre One to my people and they literally fainted in terror. A number of commanders quickly strapped on their cast-iron-BVDs to protect themselves. I even told Elrond, but knowing elves as I'm sure you do, he immediately turned tail and fled into the mountains again. I hate elves.
I also see you've managed to sway my neighbors, the Easterlings, somehow. I had high hopes that he'd maintain his neutrality, but I can see that just won't be the case. It's too bad really - we had so much in common. Perhaps word of Gothmog struck more fear into him than I had thought.
In closing, I visited an Oracle recently who suggested that my life-line was near an end. Something about warring on too many fronts and not enough time spent in love. I had hoped that Jill Indur would accept my offer of a date, but heard recently that she found Argeleb more attractive. *sigh* There's just no hope for the Horsemen - no matter how well we're hung.
I salute you, Urzahil. Hopefully, I'll offer you the challenge you seem to desire so greatly before my time comes to an end.

Your Pal,
Mahrcared

[Gixxer]

Greetings Mahrcared,
you are a great king and you've done well with your challenge !

Looks like your training has given you the ability to challenge my minor characters.

This hapenned one time and it won't occur again !-



You hate the Elves, why you're playing with them ?

I know they promised you something and weren't able to fullfill it.

Now you've got what you want !
You've done it yourself, with your own performance !

Do you really think you need the Elves ?


Bye, Urzahil

[dranob]

bah - original posts fail me at the moment - just couldn't stand to see us slip onto page 2... ;)

[mgrazebrook]

(Postcard picture:
A dead dragon, run through with a lance.
The obligatory maiden, bound to a post: she looks pissd off.
The knight, climbing out of his armour in a lewed manner.
Caption: "Chivalry is dead")

Dearest Gutrot,

Minas Arthor was a gass. Those North Gondorians are such fun to play with! We've just stopped off at Camp Tarnet - cook said the frogs from its rivers are particularly tasty. And who should show up? Some rake from South Gondor with a gang of hooligans - just our type!

Calls himself Lord Belch... no, Lord Bleauch, no, that's not quite right either, well, when you pronounce it, it sounds like being sick. Anyway, when our scouts first reported Lord *Beleaurghch* was on his way, Scullion Niggle got really upset - thought he was complaining about the food - and dumped a cauldron over the scout's head!

Will write again after the battle.

Your ever lusting friend,

Maggotia

[Gixxer]

Hi Dranob,
what do you mean ?

Do you mean your armies are a long away from home while we're burning your home ?-


Some greetings to Argeleb at this point.
Looks like it isn't so easy to catch Murazor.

" The friends from the South " have done a good work, while you're amusing somewhere else.


At least some greetings to Aivnec :

Heyja Aivnec, I hope you won't get a stomach-ache because of this pointy and hairy ears of Gildor !

Always Yours, Urzahil

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,

Jill told me to give some thanks to you !

She used the handbag and as always, it was deadly.

She promised me the shrunken heads of Morwen and Sarkar !

Looks like I must buy a second cabinet, I don't have the place to storage and present all these heads in my old glass-cabinet.

This time I'll buy a larger-one.

I need some space for Harad-heads !
The head of their king "Haruth Ramam" already arrived at Barad-Dur.
Unfortunately the courier who brought me this head weren't able to cool it enough before preparation.
Now his face is a little bit more creased than before.

I think this won't be a big problem, when shrinking this head he will look like all the others.

Always Yours, Urzahil

[Gixxer]

Heya Free People,
what's on ?

Why aren't you posting some replies ?

Did our last actions have taken your breath ?

Always yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Urzahil,

Me thinks the freeps are worried and scared so they hope that this thread will creep to the back and the rest of Middle Earth won't know their ineptitude.

I'd have to admit that Jill Idur is the best, I guess it's my age creeping up on me, it's hard being thousands of years old and still a sex symbol!

Khamulia

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia,
do you really know how old you are ?

Looks like I burned my birth certificate in one of my first attempts to transfer whater into beer.

Can't say much about my age, but you're right we're old with the difference that you're a sex-symbol and my face looks like the shrunken-heads I've made from our enemies.

In the case it won't work with Sauron,

Allways yours,

Urzahil

[Gixxer]

Hi Khamulia and to all the other ivolved players of this game.

I've received some mails that the Free are dropping ( at turn 10 ).

I know, we've done a fast race and beaten them hard, but I would wish to play further on.

Now I'm asking all of you :

Is it your last word, you won't play further on ?
And that means all of you ?

I hope to see some answers !

Gerhard

[Gixxer]

Greetings Warlords,
game 70 is over now !

Some thanks to all the players involved.

Looks like we have to say goodbye to Khamulia, Jill Indur and all the others.

It was some funny-stuff we were able to read here.

Some thanks to Dranob and Zombie Rot that they've hold aloft the flag of the Free on this board.

Good gaming, Gerhard ( Gixxer, Urzahil )

[Gixxer]

Heyja ex-Free-people of ME 70.

Some butterflies whispered me that you need to have a revanche.

Now I'm lying here on my towel in our beauty desert nearby Barad-Dur enjoing the view on my home vulcano.

I'm enjoing this holidays realy, you must know that casting curses so often will tire you out a little bit.

So Dranob and all the other, why you're disturbing me ?

I wish my beloved Khamulia would be here, so we could have some fun in these really hot desert sun !

Looks like I must interrupt my holidays at this point, I'm not able to doze in the sun while one of your messengers is throwing this gauntlet in the sand nearby my face.

Okay maybe this action will have a good outcome : I won't get a sunburn !

So let's do it again !!

[Jill Indur]

What!!!
Beloved Khamulia???
What about the ring on my finger?

[Gixxer]

Babes,

I'm in holidays, so please forgive me.

I'm old enough, I think an experience of more than 10000 years should be enough to have some fun with both of you.

Unfortunately ( for me ) one of these damned Free-horseman came to me and throwed a glove in the sand nearby my towel.

On the first glance I've thought :

What is this guy wanting from me !

Not much to read here only one word :

REVENGE

I told the messenger :

" I've already told you that your kings will get their revenge, so why you're disturbing my holidays again ?

Should I try to collect gloves instead of shriking-heads ? "

I've decided to cut up his head and make him a shrunken-head.
Looks nice between all the others !

Why these Free aren't respecting my private-sphere ?

Allways yours, Urzahil

[SMoyes]

Jill Indur,

As you've already taken Sauron from me, and now you have Urzahil's ring; what's going on? Are you following me around, letting me sway the victim over to me then take him away with your superior beauty?

Well, next time I'm going for Elrond and you leave him alone!!!!

Khamulia
Sad not to be able to compete with the fourth of the nine

[Jill Indur]

Well, well,
I think I can spare a leg or so from our dearest Urzahil.
As for Elrond, I don't think I like those pointy ears.

[Gixxer]

Dear Ladies,

I know that I have on of the most beautyfull bodies of Middle Earth,

wrong !

I know that I have the most beautyfull body in ME.

Take a close look on these muscles under my robe.

"Hey, not so close !!!! "---



" So why you want to take a leg from this perfect-body ? "

I think,
it should remain in one piece, without cutting something from me.

"What do you think of some inflatable Urzahil-dolls, so you both will have something from me. "

These two babes are too dangerous for me,
they want to cut me into pieces !

"Hi Daddy my old devil,
do you have a secure place where I can hide for a while ? "

And this is the end of the story of Khamulia and Urzahil !

To be continued in a ME-game comming soon !

I hope you had a little bit fun while reading this stuff !

ME 70 is over now !!!


I like to thank all the players, especially Scott Moyes ( my beloved Khamulia ) and Darren Beyer ( our team-captain ).

Let's have some fun in future games !

Gerhard ( Gixxer )