Game 21 Begins

[Baja21]

And so it begins again..

The free people of Middle Earth look forward to contact from any of the neutral nations involved in this conflict. Please contact us either on this board, or at cookb@grandecom.net.

Darkies, you can feel free to post as well, so we can throw some taunts in your general direction! (Done in his best french accent..)

Ben Cook
NM-21

[Clint]

Clint here

mbaa12@dial.pipex.com

Khand Easterlings

[murmur]

The Dark Servants welcome ALL neutral emmisaries and Freep apologists. Our Lord Sauron`s Herald may be contacted at;

sootypye69@hotmail.com


A and J

[Brendan Miller]

Dunland the Brave is open for business.

brenmiller@aol.com

[Goldschlager]

Brendan!!!

My old nemesis! :-)

I was the Dragon Lord in 230...(Krazy Khamul). You were the Silvan. We were perfect neighbors and best friends (if you look past all the killing and razing, etc.).

That was a great game until the final few turns when everyone started bickering. Oh, well. That's open play for you.

Glad to have you around. I'm looking forward to the fun.
Let the good times roll!

-Brian (your friendly neighborhood Freep)

p.s.: The CL from game 230 (who was trying to break some kind of record for most assassinations) is part of my normal grudge team. We (and the other 8) have been playing together for a long while.

[benmin18]

Oh, what to say....

- Ben

[MrDarwan]

Greetings,

Silvan Nation calling in. Just wanted to say if anyone has any extra gold to send my way......oh, is it too early to beg?

I guess compared to some I might be a veteran player. I've been with the team for 4 games in 2950 now.

My favrorite color is blue. My goal this game is to get a Silvan army past the Black gate. And my biggest fear is that the game will end within 15 turns! Ahhhh!! So hopefully, this time next year it will still be hotly conteseted.

I can say that we provide both good communication and team spirit to neutrals. We even have references!

Anyway, back to planning that opening turn.......

Darwan
Silvan - game 21

[helvorn]

Noldo chiming in here!

Our goal is to have the best dressed troops in all the game, our biggest fear is that Murazor will just throw in the towel on turn 5 and our fav color is of course a nice, pastel blue.

We'd love to contact our future allies in the neutral nations and make rude noises at the various DS rabble.

Matt Ashley
helvorn @yahoo.com

[Brendan Miller]

Luckily for Brian and Ben the special pills my doctor gave me have lessened the flashbacks I have to the brutal war that was game 230.

Still, sometimes when I am alone, I hear the screams and smell the flames and I light a candle for all those that died, espescially Saruman and Billy.

[benmin18]

Yeah, Saruman and Bill Ferny died... that's fine, but I still wiped out two-thirds of your curse squad with ONE character to break your team's back. Boy, that was beautiful... Galadriel bites it in personal challenge, Tharudan gets assassinated...

Anyways, back to this game... What to say...

- Ben
Unnamed Neutral, although it won't be hard to figure out which by process of elimination

[murmur]

Hmmmmm,

Brendan is dunland, russ is rhun,clint is khand...who does that leave? WW or Corsairs? Pirate Ben Again? oh dear...didn`t go too well the last time you were the masked pirate did it? Is Jon still out there?


david
J & A

[benmin18]

Actually it went quite well, if you remember. I did torch Lugarlur, but I kept failing to flip my stupid icon...

- Ben
Unnamed Neutral

[jshushan]

Gents: This is your friendly neighborhood White Wizard checking in. I'm open for business and will try and keep in touch. Given who's on both sides, this one should be interesting.

Jonathan Shushan
jshushan@aol.com

[RKFloyd]

<<russ is rhun,>>


* Actually, it appears my request for Rhun got cut by someone else. Rhun seems to be a more popular nation these days. I'm dying to see who knocked me out of my dream nation. I guess I'll have to wait 'till next game to play Rhun. That doesn't mean I won't follow along the message boards for this game and laugh at you, though! ;)

Russ / Not-The-Rhun

[Goldschlager]

Russ!!??!!! :-)

Oh, dear. Everyone is in on this game, huh?

lol

-Brian

[The Eternal]

Originally posted by Goldschlager
Russ!!??!!! :-)

Oh, dear. Everyone is in on this game, huh?

lol

-Brian

almost our whole 225 DS team are here, only Fletch & Steve are missing.

Ben & Russ, just to balance things out, you guys should flip DS that way there'd be four 225 players on each side :D

Matt you needn't worry there's no way your little pointy elves will have me throwing in the towel.

Al

aka The Lord of Mordor, Angmar and anywhere else i care to be.

all neutrals (future allies) can get me at theeternal@ntlworld.com

[benmin18]

Yes, I am a neutral. No, I'm not saying who I am.

I do have a wacky plan, and I hope you guys don't jump the wrong neutral in retaliation for my wackiness.

- Ben
Unnamed Neutral

[jasonab]

Originally posted by benmin18

I do have a wacky plan, and I hope you guys don't jump the wrong neutral in retaliation for my wackiness.

You know, I already have to deal with Brad "The Eternal Rhuduar" Brunet's wacky plans in 139. I don't need more wackiness! ;)

-- jason, LR

[Brendan Miller]

Ben + secretive + wacky = I'm glad he's not next to me :-)

[RKFloyd]

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention . . . I'm not the Rhun, but I am the Corsairs. Somehow. Yet again.

This must be a precedent. I gave Rhun as a first choice, followed by a mix of Duns, WW, and Khand . . . Corsairs was my last and fifth choice. And here I am. Corsairs. 3rd time in a year. Either the folks at MEGames read my wishlist backwards or it's divine providence that I play this nation. Rhun has become more popular of late.

I'm looking forward to this game (even if I don't have enough time for it). I of course know people on both sides and I plan to play it right down the middle.

-Russ / Corsairs 21

[benmin18]

And by process of elimination....

- Ben

[RKFloyd]

Sorry to ruin your fun, Ben.

Russ

[benmin18]

No worries, I'll stiil mess with both sides.

- Ben
Rhun

[RKFloyd]

So, Clint, you're a neutral. The Khand. You've got the Maniac Floyd playing the Corsairs just to your West. You've got the . . . whatever Ben is . . . playing the Rhun just to your North. Are you a glutton for punishment or what? :)

Cool to see you in the game, though. 2950 will slowly overtake your love and you'll leave 1650. You'll finally sell a paper map with 2950 pop centers and you'll begin referencing 2950 as the game "most players prefer" in your new rulebook instead of showing obvious bias for 1650 at every chance. :)

Russ / Corsairs 21

[murmur]

So,neutral dudes, are you gonna come to the mordor party or what?
We`d really like you ALL to join our side [not at all to get revenge for some recent debacle of a "game"] and wipe the floor with that freep bunch of imperialist scum by turn 52. what say you, neuters?

Adunaphel and Ji [a couple made in mordor] at their most charming. Go on, you know you want to be on our team!

[RKFloyd]

You playing both, David?


What's all the "turn 52" talk? Do games have a time limit now? I thought that was just 4th age?

Russ / Cors21

[murmur]

Yep, i`m playing both, and i`m not ashamed of it...kinda gives the lady adunaphel a little back-up to know she`s got agents on call in case of uppity neutrals from khand or corsairland, huh? And those QA guys make niiiiiccce scouts. Hopefully they`ll work well in tandem...wanna join the winning team? what can we offer you apart from adventure and good humour?

david
CLQA

[murmur]

Oh, and i`m not aware of any time limit in 2950. Didn`t get the opportunity to test that in g231, but it got close. Can Clint [with GM hat on] confirm this?

david
CLQA

[benmin18]

A few things regarding how I will be playing the game...

1. I will not attack anyone in this game without first declaring in advance.
2. All negotiations with me will be in public. If you send me an e-mail expect it to get posted.
3. I do have a wacky plan in mind that will determine which side I join. This plan has nothing to do with how other neutrals declare or which side happens to be winning.
4. I'm in a weak position, so I wouldn't be surprised if both sides decided to ignore me altogether and jump me.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

No responses, eh...?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[RKFloyd]

I think you scared 'em away. :)

Russ / Cors21

[murmur]

Ben,
The Republic of Rhun indeed troubles Our Lord Sauron...there are definite "waves of wackiness" emmanating from Riavod which disturb him greatly. Also he is not used to conducting his negotiations in public, makes offers/suggestions difficult when trying to prosecute a larger war...however...what would you like to join us/them? What can we DO FOR YOU to make you happy?

Gulthuin of Barduath

[benmin18]

As I said, negotiations are going to be done in public, but they're not really negotiations if I get my plan formulated correctly.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Okay...so you`re really saying there is nothing that can be SAID [by either team] to sway your allegiance..?

Gulthuin the Depressed

[benmin18]

Yeah, pretty much... However much can be DONE for actions do speak louder than words. And the entire course of events will be charted in public.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[MrDarwan]

This is turning out to be an interesting game given the list of players. A hard fought game.

An earlier post makes me wonder about the lofty and perhaps ambitious goal of winning a game in 52 turns of play. That statement took me by surprise. Whatever happens this game, I'm sure it will be like no other.

At least the message board is buzzing, and all neutrals have been accounted for before turn 1 results. This is a good sign.

I too am a little bit puzzled and confounded by the mystery that lies around the Sea of Rhun. Will it be a race to march the largest army to his capital? Perhaps a race to deliver one or more artifacts? Or maybe, whichever team can gather and deliver 100,000 units of food will buy the Nation that is Rhun? So many possibilities!

If Galadriel should die before Murazor dies, then Rhun will join the DS. If vice-versa, then Rhun joins the Free. Any ties will be given another pair matching.....

But I'm sure this is not nearly wacky enough!

MrDarwan
Silvan - game21

[murmur]

Good to hear from "the enemy" for a change, we hope to hear from you right up until the end. In our last game--the much missed g231 [it ended on t47--i was digging in for another 20 turns or so but the 12 freeps surrendered to wee poor 9 dark servants to avoid further humiliation!]--there was good banter with our adversaries...at least until the tide turned and the formerly cocky went silent. Let`s hear your best taunts!

Shoglic the Suicidal

[murmur]

Our Lord Sauron sends greetings and gifts to your capitals, we hope you will welcome our emmisaries and advice?
Distrust the Elves--they want their lands for your own, they seek only power. The men under their command are deceived by dreams of equality the power hungry first born will never allow. As for the dwarves--they seek only the greatest share of wealth. They join war to take the spoils from your hard work.
Join the Dark Servants to enjoy the true meaning of Freedom under a benevolent figurehead, the Living God SAURON! You will be free to "express yourself" in any manner you desire, you will have the right to arm yourself against the persecutors that would take your freedoms away...and all at reasonable prices...

DUNLAND:
Why be squeezed between the strawheads of Rohan and the ragtag rangers of the north? Your agents skill will be welcome to compliment those of Mordor!

SARUMAN:
You are the natural successor to Our Lord, just as he has risen to the throne upon the departure of his lord MORGOTH. Your free army hire could come in useful all across the north--harrying the pop.centers of the noldo, dwarves, rangers. Or south to Rohan and the Gondors. We can supply you a secure base in the south.

CORSAIRS:
Where better to use your power than against the gondors? The alternative would be a guerilla war in your own homeland, one that you would eventually lose over land. Surely that is not your natural environment? Pirates of the Desert??

RHUN:
The freeps surround you? You can take on and defeat the Northmen [especially with help ;-) ], You can place camps they cannot/will not find, you can attack them where least expected and we will grant you the security of Mordor. It is safer than roaming the wilds of mirkwood or arnor...

KHAND:
You are much more than an economic powerhouse--your cavalry can be the basis of a dark victory, and you will not feel hemmed in if you join with Sauron. You will be free to move your forces nearer "the front" secure in the knowledge that you have a safe homeland leagues from the grasping freeps.

We look forward to hearing from you all!

Praise SAURON!

Gulthuin the Grave

[benmin18]

I will do my own thing, thank you.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

I wouldn`t expect anything else...


Gulthuin the Gravebound

[benmin18]

My plans are simple, I have none and would like to see teams do a scavenger hunt. I will post up the official list here when turn 5 runs, and teams will have until turn 10 to get as many points as possible. The team with the most points is the team I join and I will do my best to flip my icon on turn 11. I do have a few rules:

1. Anything goes between the teams in terms of the hunt.
2. Neutrals are allowed to participate, of course, but any points they garner WILL NOT go to an aligned side unless they flip their icon on turn 10. Icon flip fails? No points.
3. Depending on how the hunt looks, I might change the timetable, but turn 6-10 sounds good for now.

I expect one of two things to happen: Both teams tell me to stuff it and attack me, or both teams ignore me and the hunt.

That is all.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Interesting...my breath is baited...and it seems like my esteemed Silvan opponent was almost right...

Shoglic the Manic

[benmin18]

Whatever the items I have on my list, I expect none to be used as bribes to win my loyalty.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

I've decided to scrap my idea of a scavenger hunt and instead we'll have a race.

Objective - Build a city from a brand new camp. The first team to do so wins my loyalty the following turn.

Here are the rules:
1. The city must be on my map. I need to see progress, and it's not allowed to be hidden.
2. The starting camp location must be south of the major river running from Erebor and west of the Rhun Sea.
3. Both teams must announce where they intend to begin their project.
4. Camps may either be created by emmissaries or commanders.
5. The camps may be created by ANY character.
6. The population center is OFF LIMITS to any combat. Neither team is allowed to capture or destroy the other team's population center. Anything else is fair game.
7. Each team only gets ONE population center to work with. Transfers between teammate nations are allowed.

Important Rule
8. Neutrals are allowed to participate, but their population center is fair game for aligned sides to ALL ACTIONS and COMBAT so long as their icon remains neutral. Consequently if a neutral builds a city and flips their icon before either side can complete their city, I will flip mine as well the following turn to the same side. If a neutral flips his icon to an aligned side BEFORE getting the population center to city status then the combat clause in rule 6 against said team is null and void. For example, the WW decides to participate, gets his pop center to a town, and flip his icon to FP. Both the WW and the FP objective poplation center are now allowed to be involved in combat whereas the DS objective population center is still protected.

9. If at anytime the objective population center falls into enemy hands, then a new objective population center is allowed to be started. The original objective population center is not protected under rule 6. If the original objective population center is retaken after a new objective population center has been created then the team must designate which population center will be counted towards the race.

10. Race starts on turn 5 and goes until there is a winner. In the event of a tie, the city with the highest loyalty wins the tie-breaker.

If both teams decide to participate, I expect to hear which hex is designated by turn 5 and ideally camps already placed there. Good luck to both sides. If you have any questions over something I haven't addressed, please ask.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

I'm curious to see everyone's reactions...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[RKFloyd]

Me too!

-Russ / Cors21

[benmin18]

Hey Russ, I'll race ya... First one to ping the One Ring wins, you game? Our combined mage power might make a difference in this game.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[RKFloyd]

LOL. I'll get right on it.

Russ

[murmur]

Well i for one am flabbergasted, but will of course be putting the full economic might of my two nations to accomplishing this task!
Good of you to give us 5 turns to get our houses in order though...

Gulthuin the Terminally Depressed

[Brendan Miller]

In the spirit of Ben's neutral madness I declare the following.

Dunland will declare for the allegiance that holds the majority of Rhun's pop centres by T10.

[benmin18]

Hmmmmm.....

I don't think I like this proposal...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by murmur
Well i for one am flabbergasted, but will of course be putting the full economic might of my two nations to accomplishing this task!
Good of you to give us 5 turns to get our houses in order though...

Gulthuin the Terminally Depressed

Well, the DS are in... what say you FP?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
Hmmmmm.....

I don't think I like this proposal...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

;)

[murmur]

Hello Friends and Foes Alike, I thought i`d issue a little news bulletin for you all. Not too much happening on T1, so let`s hurry along...

In the North West the Rangers are active early on, bulldozing Amon Sul for a start, prancing around in their muddy rags and "larking" with horses all over the place. Meanwhile the Witch King broods and considers serious plots for recapturing his homelands. You see, it`s all about FREEDOM for us Nazgul, Morgoth Bless Mordor, y`all!
In Mirkwood, those mutant shape-shifting woodmen have decided that Goblin-Gate is theirs for the taking, wouldn`t it be funny if they got a nasty surprise when they arrived? Keep your too-close-together-eyes peeled for interesting encounters! Does anyone else think that Beorn`s father was a bit too familiar with his sister [as well as all forms of woodland creatures]?? I guess the woodies feel safe enough to empty their MT`s of troops?
The Elves meanwhile are sitting around formulating complicated plans whereby they can recapture their lost glory [and lands] whilst getting all the other races to do the actual fighting, so that they can still look pretty in their togas and lincoln green tights. They are in fact conspiratorial nonces. Lock up your sons is my advice!
The Dwarves are short. Of everything.
Rhun. The obvious question, oft asked, is; where? But, these easterlings have been making a name for themselves. The Northmen think they are "completely hatstand, cream-crackers, one keg short of a hobbit party" according to a source close to BARD. Yet, in Mordor, the notion is that Huz must have "a cunning plan"...we shall see.
The Silvans fled 2915 Ceber Fanuin before the Dark Servant Sandwich could arrive...well it is their way...where ARE they off to?
No news reaches our ears from those close neighbours in Dunland and Angrenost. Not a good sign. We do hope they don`t go to war on one another. Edoras is nice this time of year, i hear...
The Gondors are of course mustering their troops for a "damned good thrashing" in fire alley. Imrahil the Ponce has been directing efforts since it has been long acknowledged that you can`t keep Denethor off the parafin for long enough to have a council meeting, Boromir and Faramir prefer traipsing around middle-earth on their "gap year adventures" and Ecthelion is as addled as Gollum. Alzheimers is apparently genetic in that family.
Khand remains enigmatic, yet open to diplomats with all the correct paperwork and manners...
The Jolly Rogers too have been busy in moving their fleets around, but what are they preparing for? Invading navies, or warring camels?
I remain the true voice of democracy,

THE VOICE of Adunaphel

[Clint]

So, Clint, you're a neutral. The Khand. You've got the Maniac Floyd playing the Corsairs just to your West. You've got the . . . whatever Ben is . . . playing the Rhun just to your North. Are you a glutton for punishment or what?

1650 is still my favourite but I do like 2950 more than I used to. Something to do with blowing up my 1st ever (Silvan t'was) nation was in 2950 - well no-one told me to stop recruiting... :-) I find the building up a bit boring but pretty essential for 2950.

Who bought all the mounts btw?

Russ is a nice guy and nearly convinced me to join his team last time around; Ben is individualistic and you've got to admire that - with a pointed stick of course... :-)

Think I ended up with the Khand cos I stipulated any except 21 and 22, and WW is always popular so that didn't leave much else. Never played them but have played 1650 Easterlings (someone's cut my nation in half!)

I'll shut up now as I am just rambling and I should really be doing some work for the FTF tomorrow....

Clint (player)

Oh, and i`m not aware of any time limit in 2950. Didn`t get the opportunity to test that in g231, but it got close. Can Clint [with GM hat on] confirm this?

No time limit in 2950. For reference; if you send me queries for the "work stuff" to my own email I'll just ignore them... :-)

Clint (GM)

[RKFloyd]

<<Russ is a nice guy >>


So THAT'S why I always "finish last"!!!

-Russ / Cors21

[benmin18]

Still no response from the FP... I get the feeling I'm about to be invaded.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
Still no response from the FP... I get the feeling I'm about to be invaded.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Gosh, maybe they didn't realise my proposal was in jest!

:D

[benmin18]

Come and get me, Brendan. I'll squash your armies like bugs with my own armies, assuming I ever get my economy up to the point where I can support my own forces...

- Ben
MIGHTY Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Enion sat uncomfortably on his great throne in the Chieftain's Hall in Larach Duhnan. It was piles season again, and the Dunnish people's had yet to invent the soft cushion.

The Hall was full, being blessed with large warm fires and a roof that actually stopped the wind and rain.

Most of the people were drunk, or working on being drunk, and the noise was starting to give Enion a headache.

A respectful cough interrupted his descent into misery and he looked down to see Calmuad trying to get his attention.

"Wha ya want?" The Great King asked.

"Mighty Lord" Calmuad began, "I bring tidings of war from exotic lands, tales of people of cultures strange".

"You what?" The Master of Dunland asked, "Speak proper you gob****e or I'll 'ave Aonghas break yer other arm".

"Right you are Dread Chieftain" Calmuad replied, gulping nervously. "Its like this, these fellas called the Rhun are threatening war with us because of that joke message you sent with the envoys to Mordor and Gondor".

"That right is it?" the Fetid Ruler of the Clans said thoughtfully. "We can't be 'avin' that now can we? Right, get the lads together and we'll pop over and burn down some of their farms and maybe steal some cows".

"Uh, just a suggestion, Oh Awesome Chief of Chiefs, but you might want to look at this map first........."

[benmin18]

Heh, nice... Now I just gotta figure out how to pay my troops. You think they work for free?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

If you boys can`t play together nicely we`ll take away your toys!

On the other hand...we may be willing to work as mercenaries in this tribal war between the mighty empires of Rhun and Dunland. How much do you pay?

Gulthuin Prozac-Popper

[RKFloyd]

I can set sail for Dunland if Ben coughs up some serious dough. ;)

No offense, Brendan. I'd offer to work for you, too, excepting I haven't found a water route to Rhun (yet!). Argh, git your shovels, men! We got's a river ta dig!!

Russ / Cors21

[Baja21]

Well, I think this is a first.. All the neuts have declared war on each other! :)

Don't worry Ben, you will not be attacked out of the blue. This grudge team has yet to atack a neutral first. We are trying to figure out how we are going to tackle your proposal as we speak...

Believe me, I wont let them forget about you, my next door neighbor.

NM-21

[benmin18]

Well, it's a simple yes or no proposition. The DS have agreed, all you guys have to do is agree...

Then both sides can e-mail as to which hex they would like to build, and I'll post it up once I have a location from each side. The locations will be made public AFTER both sides pick, not before. I don't want either side influenced by the other teams location.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Hi to the Neutrals! Hi to the Dark Servants! Hi to anyone browsing this thread!

I'm playing the woodmen in this game and am already having a hoot. I personally think the idea of a camp to city race sounds intriguing. I'll update you on my persuasive status regarding this.

There's only one problem though: Don't the DS still have to have a nation in the game at turn 5 in order to participate? Just curious....

ANYWAYS... I look forward to chatting it up with one and all...

Your friendly neighborhood wood chopper,
Jeffery A. Dobberpuhl

(Email me at MJDobberpuhl@MSN.com - Get rid of the spaces for the email to work! Grin)

[MrDarwan]

Ben, thanks for the smiles! I enjoyed the rules and the challenge. Being able to see the progress turn-by-turn at an agreed upon hex should be interesting to see. I'll let the team captain speak as to our acceptance / understanding of the rules. I'm just surprised you let us name the camps ourselves!

It is true. The DS have acted in agression. Where we have been a peace loving communitiy, they move armies into our pop centers. What nerve! The retribution shall be long and relentless. I just have one question - why pick on a nation with such a poor economy? Can't you give an elf a break?? I'm just glad I didn't leave a starting army there for you guys to swallow up. I think two armies is overkill. But hey, no problem being thorough.

I'll have to check the message boards more often. It's been a few games since I have seen some good banter.

MrDarwan
Silvan - 21

[murmur]

"Your friendly neighborhood wood chopper,
Jeffery A. Dobberpuhl "
--Don`t you mean in-bred, mutant wood-worrier? ;-)


"I just have one question - why pick on a nation with such a poor economy? Can't you give an elf a break??"
--Your lies are so hollow, we know that you are sitting on a hill of gold and are just waiting for us to knock out the Northmen so that you can fight over the spoils with those lovely Rhun fellows!

Shoglic the Demented

[blaznak]

Dear Shoglic the Demented:

Thank you for your kind words. Apparently there is a SMALL translation problem between the goodly words of the hard-working men and women of Mirkwood and the scuzzy nail-biting dentist's-nightmare fruits that grew on your family tree. :)

You see, you took "Your friendly neighborhood wood chopper," and came up with "in-bred, mutant wood-worrier". This is a common error so no offense is taken. You see, our men are SOOOO manly that many times you will see them proudly walking about and only THINK the only logical answer is that they have been -ahem- worrying wood -ahem-.

Nothing could be further from the truth! Here is ACTUALLY what happened. A short time ago, some merchants came through town and CONTINUALLY delivered over and over again messages saying: "Say, is YOUR log too small?" "Would YOU like more Timber for her furnace?" and other similar things. We figured this was a ploy to increase our much needed production of fire wood and so, in a moment of weakness, PURCHASED the merchant's products (come to think of it, though, those merchants WERE heavily cloaked and DID appear a bit, well goblinoid in nature...)

Anyways, within a week we received arm patches, odd blue pills (Marked with the "V" for Valor, we presume, a rune of great power), strange bits of (apparently) elvish art and a scroll of certain -er- exercises one could perform with the Missus on a cold winter's night.

To make a short story long, our women now walk a bit more crooked than they did before, and our ability to be camoflauged in a wood pile was dramatically increased. So we see where your confusion comes into play. No wood worrying going on, just nature's bounty proudly displayed!!!

Good to talk to you, send more beer.

Beorn the Mighty:)

[lsd]

Ah! the real reason for free agression has become apparent! You guys dig crooked women and lets face it gobbo women have crooked down to a fine art.

Of course the "wood" we sold you was of the "warped" variety, so I guess we have something to do with your bowlegged women...better hope the same thing does not happen your other appendages


Hoarmurath

[benmin18]

Message from the FP:

As you have heard probably heard, the FP are off to a great start. I am
VERY pleased so far.

The only conflict will be at 2915, where the DS jumped in with multiple
armies on a sleepy Silvan logging camp.

In the hornet's nest (Osgiliath), the DS forgot to show up. Things
should get interesting soon.

Artys/Ruins - We again received some good luck and nailed multiple arty
locations. One of them is in WW-lands and we already informed him of
our intention to send characters there on retrieve-duty. The ruin hop
went reasonably well. No deaths, average gold. I think just about all
of them were accounted for.

No interesting rumors detected.

In the Rhun area, Ben Cook and I are VERY happy. No DS icons in sight.
We are trying a new strategy and, with the extra turns provided by LR
inactivity, we are very optimistic. The city-building project is very
interesting. The DS have multiple emmy artys, thus an advantage.but we
never back away from a challenge.

End of Message.

I said I would post all messages I receive regarding this game. Everything involving me will be made public.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Well well well....
After reading the posts we can now tell some of the differences between the free peoples and the dark servants. Hey Neutrals! Print and Save for future reference!

Free Peoples Dark Servants
Manly and Virile Not so Manly OR Virile
Willing to drink beer Willing to drink YOUR beer
Cool Team Names Lame Team Names
(Like "The Woodcutters") (Like "Shoglic" - Dark speech
for "The Quilting Guild")
Cool, edgy attitude! Mean, bully-like attitude

Well, that's it for today! Take care,
Beorn
(via Jeffery A.)

[murmur]

Quilts are, like, cool dude...i`ve been sitting under mine for 200 years now, trying to take the edge off all the valium and prozac speedballs with a little "longbottom leaf" [gee, that saruman guy scores some wicked weed!]. How come i`m so depressed? It makes me wanna go up to nearest butch woodman with a pointed stick and challenge him to "a square go" in some muddy town square...however i predict my death will be more noble than that...

Shoglic the Stone-Killer

ps; cya in ther afterlife Beorn Bear-baiter!

[benmin18]

Another FP message
Hi to the Noble Rhun!

I thought your game of Cities is an interesting way to generate some excitement! I'd PERSONALLY like to take you up on that challenge, but when your best emissary starts at a 20, well, cities are something to dream of (How -DID- we ever build major towns, I wonder...)

Things are pretty quiet on the woodmen front and we are currently expecting to just hang out and make little woodmen until the war arrives (if it ever does).

Strategy wise, I know I'm staying off of your maps. I have enough things to worry about. You may see some random woodmen encounters over there as I am currently going running a Courier Service for team artifacts! UPS (Uniform Postal Shapeshifters)...

We also have some plans for a very First Age "Girdle of Melian' idea that will require coordination with an eastern nation...
End of message

[benmin18]

I'm going assume that both sides are accepting my proposal. Please tell e-mail which hexes you want to camp before turn 5 so I make sure that neither side picks the same hex.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Apparently we Woodmen are good at war and not Espionage!

LOL!

*carves memo to self in tree trunk "No emails to Rhun. Post Only."

You know that a week from now I will wonder what that all means!

Jeffery "Beorn the bright as a snuffed-out candle" A.

[benmin18]

The DS have chosen their hex and it is acceptable. FP, please let me know where you'll start your project as soon as possible, then I'll make the announcement and both sides can begin making plans.

Also, I DO NOT expect to have to use this new city as a future capital whichever side I end up joining. I expect to manage on my own. I wouldn't be much of a teammate if I wasn't self-sufficient, eh?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Will begin on t4

Shoggy...pity i won`t be around to see it...

[benmin18]

No, please begin on turn FIVE. A camp should be in place with our turn 5 results, not turn 4.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Ah! Here is a query for you....
Now Mr. Rhun, say a crafty/clever person was able to somehow DISCERN the location of the other sides campable hex, and, on the turn prior, CAMPED that hex?

Now, I am confused, are you going to send EACH side the otherside's hex number or will such random deviousness be left to chance in your little game of cities?

(I'm thinking too hard. Time to get back to chopping down trees and building brewhouses...

JAD "Beorn"

[benmin18]

Well, the sooner the FP tell me which hex they would like to designate, the sooner I can announce what two hexes to avoid. If by some odd chance the FP do camp the DS objective hex BEFORE determining their own hex, I will likely just move the DS hex over by one and keep it in the same general area. I highly doubt this will happen though, and I doubt either side will be camping the Rhun plains much. It is winter, and production isn't ery good. All this being said, FP hurry up and pick a hex so both sides can begin planning on how they want to go about the race.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

The DS have chosen 3320.
The FP have chosen 3309.

I expect no camps to be placed in either of these hexes until our turn 5 results. Any neutrals wanna participate, let me know and designate a hex.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

You see, they are breaking the rules already...

FP camp 3309?

To quote the gamesmaster Huz;

"Here are the rules:
1. The city must be on my map. I need to see progress, and it's not allowed to be hidden.
2. The starting camp location must be south of the major river running from Erebor and west of the Rhun Sea. "

Or are you just testing to see if we are paying attention by letting this little faux-pas through?


Shoglic the Saddo

[benmin18]

Ah ha, I stand corrected.

The FP starting camp will be moved from 3309 to 3312. Or you FP can pick again. I really need to remember my own rules.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Ach! Who need rules! Just give me some haggis, a beer to wash it down, and a woman to fetch me both...
Beorn

(You know, I wonder if even WOODMEN would like haggis... Has anyone reading this ever eaten haggis? Seriously? What is it like? I saw a show on how to make it and I have to tell you: Gross. It seemed MUCH worse than Lutefisk which until I saw this show I figured WAS nature's abomination... Ah, but it SOUNDS manly, and that's what REALLY counts! )

[benmin18]

Dark Servants, the Free People have made their choice and I find it acceptable and follows the rules for placement, do you wish to change your hex or keep it the same?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Keep it the same.


Gulthuin the Gullible

[murmur]

"You know, I wonder if even WOODMEN would like haggis..."

Yes, just had one on friday. The trick is catching the little buggers first! Haggis is very tasty; like minced beef, mixed with oats and kinda spicy. Also served with mashed potato and turnip. And preferably a good single malt. I don`t care to know thedetails of how it is prepared...i do know a sheeps stomach is involved...

david
True Scot

[benmin18]

FP have designated 3814.
DS have remained the same at 3320.

Good luck to both sides, race starts on turn 5 with the first camp.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

ONE MORE RULE
To ensure that each team gets a FAIR START the designated hexes shall remain clear of opposing army icons since you can't camp a hex that is occupied by the opposition.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Thanks for the Haggis Update!

Must put down on my - "If I ever get to Scotland..." list of things to almost maybe consider after drinking! (Grin)

Jeffery A.

[murmur]

If i`d been the freeps i`d have picked 3914 and parked two cities right next to the Rhun capital...of course that might have sent a rather unsubtle message...unlike the much more distant 3814 for instance. Watch out for conniving stumpies and power-crazed elveses!

Gulthuin the Great

[lsd]

The passing of the month had gone quickly. Tidings missives plans plots and schemes had flown seemlessly both from within Mordor and without.

The nine were pleased. Forums had been established, responsibility had been devolved and the Mordor war machine had been harnessed.

Mordor and its allies would stand together, each contributing their part, each undertaking their roles without malice or greed. Each nation would strive for the glorification of Sauron to establish HIM as the sole ruler of Middle Earth.

The time was neigh the dogs of war are loossed and far more dangerous things now prowled the night.

Can you hear mortal men cave dwarfs and pretty boys the eye sees all hears all knows all Mordor awakes....we are coming.....

[MrDarwan]

Quiet down, hear me!

The dark clouds are gathering about Mordor. The beat of war drums can be heard. Orcs thirst for blood. But I am NOT afraid. Why? Because I remember!

For many years stories have been told about the victory of good over evil. Many tales have I heard about the dark armies driven back into the shadows. I am not afraid because I remember!

Each time we meet on the field of battle, it is a tough fight. But at the end, when the war is over, the Free will stand victorious. Yes, the Dark is massing forces, and battles will be fought. But I am not afraid because I remember!!


<This is where the mortal men, dwarves, and elves light torches in the forest and party like there is no tomorrow>

[Oltex]

Aragron sat on the hill, smoking his pipe, and smiled at the sight of two elven children playing hide-and-seek with 4 Orcish soldiers.

The children were giggling as they darted in and out of the trees confounding all attempts by the orcs to capture them.

The orcs snarles in frustration, brandishing weapons, and grunting in their gutteral tongue.

Aragron silently considered coming to their aid when one of the orcs ran head first into a tree in an attempt to cut off one of the children.

As the orc sat on the ground rubbing his broken nose, the second child smoothly pulled out an oaken bow and quickly released two arrows into the undefended orc's back.

Howling in surprise, the orc stupidly rolled over and over trying to dislodge the arrows. The end result was that he pushed one of them into his lung and immediately collapsed into a heap, blood pouring from his mouth.

Aragorn smiled again, put up his pipe, and saddled his horse, confident that the children were in no real danger. At this he chuckled, the day two elven children weren't a match for a mere 4 orcs is the day he would move into the Shire and become a hobbit.

Mordor was no real threat....

Clif
Rangers

[Baja21]

Well, it looks like we have a very large battle brewing..

For the benefit of the Neutrals, there are 13 armies facing off at Os this turn. Looks like the DS are a little outnumbered though. :)

[benmin18]

In 2950 I've always maintained that for the DS to be successful the Osgiliath bridge needs to be dropped ASAP. Everytime I haven't seen it dropped early the WK has been eliminated or severely beaten down. Just an observation.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Now now Ben.
Neutrals dont need to give the DS hints. :) Thats not very "neutral."

But, that probably was good advice, though maybe a turn too late.

[benmin18]

Then again I've also seen the Sinda, Woodmen, and Northmen eliminated quite easily as well. Perhaps I should divulge those hints for the Dragon Lord? *Grin*

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[MrDarwan]

Whew! At least you didn't mention the Silvan. I already lost a camp! Maybe there is hope for me after all?

Silvan - 21

[Clint]

Lose camps - are you insane... (Big grin)... oh I'm a Neutral - cool - yum, slurp. Just see if I can spell my name with the camps


25 asterisks for that = 25 camps uh.... well if I must. :-)


Clint (player)

[RKFloyd]

This neutral thing gets boring. Won't someone go ahead and woo me? Oh, that's right . . . I'm "staying neutral" for a while this time. I forgot how boring that is.

Russ / Cors

[benmin18]

You guys should establish your own contests to win your loyalty. It's fun to make people work for it, and it's good to feel wanted.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

I have issued the terms necessary to gain my loyalty and am distressed to see that neither side has eliminated the Rhun menace.

The evil Rhun have oppressed the poor people of Dunland for centuries and their evil warmongering ways threaten the peace of Middle Earth.

[benmin18]

Come and get me.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
Come and get me.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

No, its too far to walk.

[benmin18]

Then do you want to meet in the middle somewhere? I figure if we ask nicely the White Wizard, Rohan, Sinda, Dragon Lord, Long Rider, Northmen, and Dog Lord will be work with us in finding a nice little place to fight somewhere in their respective territories.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

That sounds too much like a fair fight. My lads aren't into that sort of thing.

[benmin18]

Your lads are all a bunch of cowering pansies. They're as ugly as orcs, and they prance as well as elves. Come and get me.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Yeah well, your boys are all mincing horse lovers and your women folk look like fat dwarves.

My armies leave on the morrow. Lets see how well you savages deal with 2000 manly, pissed up men in skirts, I mean kilts.

[benmin18]

I'll ride you down like the vermin that you are. Now make sure you ask the White Wizard, Rohan, Sinda, Dragon Lord, Dog Lord, Northmen, and Long Rider if you can come out to play.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Oltex]

Try meeting at Morannon. It's more or less in the middle. Of course, you'll have to clear the Dog Lord orc vermin and their worgs first. Think of it like cleaning the boxing ring before a fight.

[murmur]

Hmmm, that`s quite a few troops you freeps have at Osgiliath. How many are there exactly???

And...don`t the riders of rohan/south gondor feel a bit vulnerable to surprise attack from the neighbourly neutrals with ALL their troops away from home?

Gulthuin the Gimp

[Oltex]

Well, we know you orcs can't count. So, the answer is 5.

As for the neutrals, unlike you darkies, we Freeps have this thing called trust. We trust them to make the right decision...:-) I know this is a foreign concept so if your head starts to hurt, just lie down and think of stabbing someone in the back...

As for the last comment, who said these were ALL our troops?

Clif
Rangers
Watching through Elrond's Palantir.

[murmur]

Pretty big words from someone hundreds of leagues away...not that i`m saying the dunadan are cowards you understand. BTW; is Elrond`s Palantir wot you well edjucated freeps call a euphimism [thanks to Erennis for spelling]?

Barbarous Intent, of Barduath.

[murmur]

Hello Wraiths and Gimps All,

Welcome to the second round-up of what is happening in Saurons Realm!

I guess i should start with the big news...yes, it IS true; IMRAHIL this morning came out of the closet and revealed himself to a startled ADRAHIL. So shocked was the naval commander that he took his fleet and sailed to certain doom at Osgiliath, rather than face his Lord`s awkward passes. Oh yes, and he met 7 other armies of the free there too.
Anyway, pressing on with more important matters...what? You wanna hear about Osgiliath? How tiresome. Okay, okay...
The Freeps have landed 8 armies at the City of Blood this week in an attempt to make an immediate hole in DS defenses. The Dark Servants retaliated with 5 of their own, but the numbers [more than 15,000 troops in total!] don`t look good for Sauron`s Servants. The big question is; can the FP punch through and actually take anything? It is sure to be carnage, the bodies will be piled high.

Around the Rhun area, the uneasy quiet has been broken by the incursion on a Long Rider army which threatens the dwarves at Kheled-Nala and the Northmen at Shrel-Kain. It is doubtful that the FP will have the quality that UVATHA`s troop have...

Harad remains suitably Quiet thanks to the early non-agression treaties signed by the ministers of ADUNAPHEL, SANGARUNYA and OVATHA. The South slumbers...

Mirkwood saw brief violent action as the snivelling Silvans were purged from Ceber Fanuin at 2915. It is now in ruins. The Long Rider`s army under HARGROG then marched north west and was halted by a Woodmen force under BORNBENEOR at 2614. The Sinda under TATHAR, meanwhile, marched on Dol-Guldor, but they are outmatched there by superior Dragon Lord forces. Further north, GRASHUKH came out of Goblin Gate and crashed a rather dubious party being held by the inbred BEORN for a Silvan princling ARGALDOR at 2410. Who knows what the fey elves and mutant animal "worshippers" were up to in the forest together. GLORFINDEL the Blouse decided to check out the furnishing of Goblin Gate himself. Perhaps he`s misinterpreted the name of the place to be some kind of wanton establishment for his "sort". There`s a lot of it going around. Just ask IMRAHIL.

More elves appear to be sniffing around the proposed DS golf and health spa at 3320. Is this against the rules that Rhun have set? It`s so hard to remember...none the less, the freepies are taking a bit of a risk so close to Mordor. Our Master doesn`t like that kind of thing. Why not go home and count your horde of taxed gold elf-boys??

Who HAS been buying all the mounts? Freepie invaders? A cunning Newt? Or perhaps Sauron`s minions???

Here`s to the City of Blood and Fire Alley!

THE VOICE of Adunaphel

[Oltex]

Those ARE big words for Darky. Let me try and spell it out with small words.

Elrond has big magic glass ball. Aragorn look into ball. Aragorn see darkies running around like chickens with no heads. Aragorn pleased.

I also never realized the DS were to homophoebic. "Imrahil out of the closet" and "Glorfindel the blouse"? It will be even more humorous when these light-skirts trounce the DS back to the previous age. I hear the Mayor of Goblin Gate has a nice collection of George Michael records that he had to hide from Khamul. I've seen Elrond's Wham collection and they should get along just fine.

Also, I'm sure Ji and Din are slinking around Os somewhere. In fact, I've heard that Ji wears women's clothing. Of course, no Freep has seen Ji and lived to tell but I believe the rumor none-the-less.

Aragorn
Future King of Gondor
Currently peeking over Elrond's shoulder

[murmur]

It has been confirmed by an anonymous source [well, Gulthuin actually] that JI INDUR does indeed wear womens clothing. But just in the line of work...and as for homophobia we would like to say that it was in fact a product of latent homosexuality, but actually it is just a reflexion of our hatred for all the living and their nefarious physical ways. We hate mutants, elves, stumpy dwarves, smelly ranger men and prancing unbelievers of ALL kinds.

So there.

Shoglic the Sickly

[murmur]

ps;

Does Elrond still sleep with a dagger under his pillow?
Just out of interest...

Shoggy the Deadbeat

[benmin18]

Elves suck... So do Nazgul... Neutrals rule.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Oltex]

Doh....I will never look at another woman the same again. Arwen, show me your legs! If they are hairy, I'm outta here!

Aragorn
Future King of Gondor
Unless he meets the Hairy-legged woman

PS Elrond actually sleeps with a little doll of Galadriel under his pillow. Of course, who doesn't! She's a fox! I ever hear that Urzahil has an old drawing of Ms. G that he keeps in his locker.

Um...Arwen, sweetie. I don't REALLY have a doll of Galadriel (crosses fingers). It was just a metaphor.

[murmur]

mmmmmmm, galadriel

*drools uncontrollably*


JI the CrossDresser

[murmur]

I do have a doll, that pale-skinned be-hatch is full of pins!

The "Lady" Adunaphel

[Baja21]

I really dont think the free army violates any rules that the Rhun put out. We are not capturing or destroying your pop center, which are the only army restrictions. Its not our fault if you cant post that camp. We arn't planning on camping right outside mordor. (at least that is visable to you..) And correct me if I am wrong, but the contest doesn't start until turn 5, and we are only upcoming on 3. So, you will have to get your lawyers something else to do for the next few turns.

Ben
NM-21

[benmin18]

Originally posted by benmin18
ONE MORE RULE
To ensure that each team gets a FAIR START the designated hexes shall remain clear of opposing army icons since you can't camp a hex that is occupied by the opposition.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Think again. I want a fair start for both sides. Leave the hexes CLEAR OF ALL ARMIES.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

oops.. Did I mention I cant read. :P

The army is moving anyway, and wasn't meant to hinder the camping anyway (Still a few turns early for that..)

[murmur]

My ScoArmy Assassins need practice anyway...


JI IN A [battle]DRESS

[Goldschlager]

Can we posibly get all the rules in a single posting? I still thought we were doing a scavenger hunt!!!!! :-)

[benmin18]

FP have designated 3814.
DS have remained the same at 3320.

Objective - Build a city from a brand new camp. The first team to do so wins my loyalty the following turn.

Here are the rules:
1. The city must be on my map. I need to see progress, and it's not allowed to be hidden.
2. The starting camp location must be south of the major river running from Erebor and west of the Rhun Sea.
3. Both teams must announce where they intend to begin their project.
4. Camps may either be created by emmissaries or commanders.
5. The camps may be created by ANY character.
6. The population center is OFF LIMITS to any combat. Neither team is allowed to capture or destroy the other team's population center. Anything else is fair game.
7. Each team only gets ONE population center to work with. Transfers between teammate nations are allowed.

Important Rule
8. Neutrals are allowed to participate, but their population center is fair game for aligned sides to ALL ACTIONS and COMBAT so long as their icon remains neutral. Consequently if a neutral builds a city and flips their icon before either side can complete their city, I will flip mine as well the following turn to the same side. If a neutral flips his icon to an aligned side BEFORE getting the population center to city status then the combat clause in rule 6 against said team is null and void. For example, the WW decides to participate, gets his pop center to a town, and flip his icon to FP. Both the WW and the FP objective poplation center are now allowed to be involved in combat whereas the DS objective population center is still protected.

9. If at anytime the objective population center falls into enemy hands, then a new objective population center is allowed to be started. The original objective population center is not protected under rule 6. If the original objective population center is retaken after a new objective population center has been created then the team must designate which population center will be counted towards the race.

10. Race starts on turn 5 and goes until there is a winner. In the event of a tie, the city with the highest loyalty wins the tie-breaker.

If both teams decide to participate, I expect to hear which hex is designated by turn 5 and ideally camps already placed there. Good luck to both sides. If you have any questions over something I haven't addressed, please ask.


ONE MORE RULE
To ensure that each team gets a FAIR START the designated hexes shall remain clear of opposing army icons since you can't camp a hex that is occupied by the opposition.

I think that's all of them.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[helvorn]

Nah, Elrond doesn't sleep with a dagger under his pillow he could cut himself and that would be icky.

He sent that blond bitch Glorfindel away with an army of hair dressers because he just couldn't take the competition for Gildor.

Matt

[benmin18]

I would like to announce that my emissaries suck. One for four on camp placement does not bode well.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Well, I havn't seen all of the results, but the battle fo the 13 armies didn't go well for the filthy orcs. But the good news (for them) is that now it is the battle of 10 armies in Minas Morgul. Bad news.. they are again severly outnumbered.
Well, WK, I hear the north is nice this time of year.

Enjoy,
Ben
NM-21

[benmin18]

Still didn't drop the bridge, eh?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Nope.. and now is a little late. :)

[Clint]

I would like to announce that my emissaries suck. One for four on camp placement does not bode well.

Yeh 1 out of 3 this turn for my Ems... :-( Must be everyone creating - gives more credence to that opinion that number of Ems related to number of camps created.

Clint (player)

[Baja21]

Come on neuts. You are supposed to be building! :)

Even the DS had some good emmisary luck. Thanks by the way for wasting the 10k on upgrading MM to a city. Lets see.. do we want a MT/Castle in fire alley, or a big smoking hole.. tough choice.

[benmin18]

We're trying... I forgot how boring it is to be a neutral.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Well Ben, you could always flip free and come with me as we storm into the back of mordor. Think how much fun it would be to have the Rhun burn the CL capital..

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
We're trying... I forgot how boring it is to be a neutral.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Oh, oh I see.

Our little war not good enough for you is it?

Well, lets see if we can spice it up for you. Your lands will be mine.

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Brendan Miller
Oh, oh I see.

Our little war not good enough for you is it?

Well, lets see if we can spice it up for you. Your lands will be mine.

I told you to ask the White Wizard, Rohan, Dog Lord, Sinda, and Northmen if we could play through. What did they say? And I'd stomp you anyways.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Baja21
Well Ben, you could always flip free and come with me as we storm into the back of mordor. Think how much fun it would be to have the Rhun burn the CL capital..

Build me that city first and we'll talk. Unless of course the DS beat you to it.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[lsd]

Snaga's head hurt, hurt alot. It wasn't the copious amounts of alcohol he had recently consumed (though that did not help matters been honest) but the blow he had received as his cavalry were swept form the fields.

The plan hadn't worked out as the masters had thought, that much was certain. 4,000 DS troops destroyed in a matter of hours, the bosses hadn't mentioned that part - he was very certain on this.

Everything had gone so well, he got command of the cavalry (not that ugly bas**rd Uklurg) and troops had mustered from all over. When the big boss had prevented the tarks from deploying he had felt a moment of joy. He led his brave band of warriors in a headlong charge and even managed to break the enemy - that was until he had crested the hill and saw the vast and serried ranks of the enemy. Row upon row upon row it wasn't much of a contest after that.

Still he was alive (quite a feat that) and undoubtedly would get another command. He watched from his hiding place as the tarks and horselovers moved on Minas Morgul (another thing the bosses hadn't mentioned - not good not good at all) and even noted the fresh wave of troops crossing over the bridge hastening to join their comrades.

He wondered what the bosses would do now but after a brief moment of thought (his head started at him again) gave it up. Still it would interesting to see what if anything could be done.

Snaga somewhere in Mordor

[murmur]

Greetings Minions of Sauron

Before i get to the main event, let me tell you what is going on around Our Master`s Middle Earth;
In the far north west, the home of the elven conspiracy, the terrible twin ELLADAN and a bunch of his vagabond rangers has landed at 1502, a peaceful settlement of MURAZOR. We do hope that they clean up after themselves. Even the mongrel woodmen are better house-trained than those guys...
Finally the Fey elves of Imladris have appeared at Goblin-Gate [make up your own punchlines] with force big enough to take it! Last turn the inbred woodman BEORN, aided by ickle GALANDEOR defeated GRASHUKH of Khamul`s Realm, however the Silvan`s army was also destroyed. They really should get more than twigs and lincoln green outfits if they want to go to war!
Southern Mirkwood continues to be in turmoil. GASBUZ and Co destroyed a force of Sinda under TATHAR at 2715, HARGROG`s cavalry defeated another Woodmen army at 2613 and then squared up to yet another desparate defensive force under WAULFA this turn. There is no pressure on Dol Guldor at all...i wonder why that could be???
Around the Sea of Rhun, the money grubbing Northmen finally decided to set foot out of their treasuries long enough to run into another Long Rider army under the valiant MORNADAK. I think BARD and Co may have made an error there, it`s safer behind the thick doors of their money-houses...
Lord OHTAR, fresh from his flight from Ceber Fanuin has decided to pay 3421 a visit. Wouldn`t it be funny if he failed to threaten it!?? I`m not sure he wants to venture down from that mountain, he might get run over with such a paltry band of "warriors". Not that i am impuning the fighting ability of the mighty Silvan nation, you understand. I`m sure they have a rich history and everything, it`s just that i haven`t heard of it...
Harad and Corsairland remain peaceful, just the way Our Lord likes it; harmonious neighbours make his bidding so much easier to fulfill! We remain on good terms with The Corsairs of Umbar and the Khand Easterlings, we hope to welcome their emmisaries as allies AND friends for a long time.
So what of the battle at 3024? Yes, Yes, a "stunning" FP victory, however some damage was done and reinforcements have been called to 3124. However, with the presence of more than 6000 Freepies at Morgul, we do not know if these reinforcements will be enough to stop it falling into enemy hands. The cost will be great if the Gondors and Rohan hope to take the City/Castle. Perhaps it is already too high..? How much gold and product has been sent to Minas Tirith? How many troops have been drawn away from other areas?
Relations remain neutral with Saruman, Enion and the enigmatic Huz III. We hope to hear from their diplomats soon, and that their nations will join us in thwarting the stranglehold of the Elven Conspiracy.

OBITUARIES:

EOMER of Rohan "bit the big one" this week with a brave, though foolish PC attempt on DIN OHTAR at 2520.

I remain your Servant,

THE VOICE of Adunaphel.

[benmin18]

I would like the world to know the Duns-Rhun war is till ongoing. Now if they'd ever get here we could fight.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[RKFloyd]

I would like to be a negotiator amidst this terrible Dun/Rhun war. Actually, "mercenary" is more like it. Which one of you would like to hire me to destroy the other one? C'mon, I gotta do something!

-Bored Cors

[Brendan Miller]

You can come get me horseboy.

I have scads of shiny gold for the scurvy Corsairs if they join me in my war against the oppressive Rhun regime.

[benmin18]

Oppressive? Oppressive? I'll show you oppressive... Now if I can figure out a way to jump start my economy. Deficit spending, perhaps?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[RKFloyd]

Argh, me smells a wee bit more gold in the coffers of the Duns. Perhaps I'll be working with them soon to ensure the Rhun find a place in Davey Jones' Locker!

Or perhaps I'll have accord with the Rhun and just TAKE the Dun gold for meself? Afterwhich I could then take what little gold the Rhun has! Argh!!

Decisions, decisions . . .

[benmin18]

From the Noldo Elves:
Just dropping a line to say hi.

It looks like Minas Morgul will be exciting this coming turn! We'll see if we
brought enough
troops to the party. The WK took MM to a city so it will be a good deal tougher!

Things are going well overall. Goblin Gate resisted my first threaten with
Glorfindel but I moved
in more troops to take a crack at capturing it.

Mirkwood is the usual tussle, no surprise moves by either side yet. The east looks
good so far as
the NM/DW have the LR cornered and should drop him quickly.

Stay in touch and we'll see how your grand experiment goes!

From the Woodmen:
Greetings to the Neutrals!

I just wanted to drop a note to let you know the battle for the northern
woods goes excellently. There was a bizarre push by the DS up the channel
between the Sinda and Mirkwood. I'm unclear what they think they will
accomplish...
We are busy camping, posting, raising armies of furry-chested warriors, and
our men are quite active as well.
Let us know if there is anything we can do to assist.

[benmin18]

3 for 6 on camps... A little bit better.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Ben, I don't suppose that thats your army parked next to Freawul is it?

[Clint]

Beat you there 3 for 4 camps Ben... :-)

Yawn, almost falling asleep - happy to have either allegiance make me an offer I cannot refuse.

How's Ithil this time of year?

Clint (Player) KE

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Brendan Miller
Ben, I don't suppose that thats your army parked next to Freawul is it?

Uhmmmm, no... Of course not...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Clint
Beat you there 3 for 4 camps Ben... :-)

Yawn, almost falling asleep - happy to have either allegiance make me an offer I cannot refuse.

How's Ithil this time of year?

Clint (Player) KE

I'm disappointed in you Clint, only trying for four at a time

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

"How's Ithil this time of year?

Clint (Player) KE"

--Now a shiny new NG MT/Castle. Drat. It musta been close...all seems rosy in freep world, doesn`t it?

Flatulent Reek of Barduath

[RKFloyd]

Minas Morgul falls on turn 5? Ha ha ha ha . . .er . . . I mean . . .that's terrible, terrible. :)

I look forward to the DS counterstroke. What's in store?!?

-Russ, Impatiently on the Sidelines

[lsd]

Snaga - somewhere in the pass overlooking Morgul

It had been a nightmarish night, trying to navigate the pass whilst blind drunk and avoiding the tarks not easy not easy at all.

Still where Snaga had keeled over proved to be an inspired choice, he had fallen into some dung hole (nice and warm not to mention the odor actually wasn't bad he might even score back in Ungol) and therefore managed to come out in one piece as the battle whirled around him.

He had come awake with a start when the first fireball erupted behind his position after that all hell seemed to break lose. Fireballs followed firestorms followed chill bolts as row upon row of tarks melted away from the onslaught. Snaga had also spotted lots of the BIG bosses wielding bright shiny weapons in the melee carrying all before them.

Still it hadn't been enough once the clouds of smoke had vanished it Morgul flew the flag of the tarks. Snaga spotted through the haze the flags and banners of more DS armies including that fat bas$£%d Uklurg. Maybe just maybe Uklurg would bite the big one. After all with the vast and serried ranks of the free what hope had Uklurg....it wasn't until all the smoke had burned away that Snaga became truly aware of the carnage wrought in the ranks of the free huge gaping holes had been riven in their ranks...maybe the BIG bosses knew what they were doing after all.....

[benmin18]

From the Free People
we thought you`d like to see the battle report for 3124. Quite revealing of a number of things ,we think. It does seem like a resounding FP victory...but, look closer...

Battle at 3124
In the Cold climate of the Mountains of 3124, a conflict took place
in the early morning hours during a
driving storm.
At the head of a highly energetic army rode Captain Elfhelm of the
nation of the Riders of Rohan. In his
hands was borne the glowing Sword called Herugrim. The mount on which
he rode cantered anxiously along the
side of the battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled
with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
787 Rohan horsemen w/lances wooden/bronze none/leather ragged ranks
404 Rohan horsemen w/broadswords bronze/steel leather/bronze ragged
ranks
At the head of a rebellious army rode Veteran Anborn of the nation of
Northern Gondor. The mount on which he
rode moved with trepidation to the center of the battle lines. Behind
him the forming ranks were filled
with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
500 Dúnadan knights w/lances wooden none a mob

At the head of a calm army rode Regent Ecthelion II of the nation of
Northern Gondor. In his hands was borne
the glowing Sword called Steward's Blade. The mount on which he rode
moved calmly to the front of the battle
lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
1325 Dúnadan knights w/lances wooden/bronze none/leather ragged ranks
972 Dúnadan footmen w/broadswords wooden/bronze leather/bronze ragged
ranks
615 Lesser Dúnadan footmen w/shortswords bronze/steel bronze ragged
ranks
At the head of a highly energetic army rode Regent Adrahil II of the
nation of Southern Gondor. In his hands
was borne the glowing Sword called Navorn. The mount on which he rode
cantered anxiously along the side of
the battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
74 Dúnadan knights w/lances bronze/steel leather/bronze ragged ranks
1462 Dúnadan footmen w/broadswords wooden/bronze none/leather a mob
406 Lesser Dúnadan footmen w/shortswords bronze/steel leather/bronze
ragged ranks
At the head of a demoralized army rode Veteran Angûlion of the nation
of the Witch-king. In his hands was
borne the glowing Sword called Vasamacil. The mount on which he rode
stood cautiously at the rear of the
battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
500 Troll footsoldiers w/flails wooden none a mob
100 Mannish slaves w/maces bronze leather a mob
At the head of a rebellious army rode Commander Rashkûk of the nation
of the Dog Lord. In his hands was
borne the glowing Sword called Sickle of the Heavens. The mount on
which he rode moved with trepidation to
the center of the battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were
filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
200 Orc wolfriders w/scimitars bronze leather ragged ranks
At the head of a calm army rode Commander Shagrat of the nation of
the Fire King. The mount on which he rode
moved calmly to the front of the battle lines. Behind him the forming
ranks were filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
400 Troll footsoldiers w/battle axes wooden none a mob
At the head of a rebellious army rode Warlord Gothmog of the nation
of the Dark Lieutenants. In his hands
was borne the glowing Flail called Skull Flail. The mount on which he
rode moved with trepidation to the
center of the battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled
with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
400 Troll footsoldiers w/battle axes wooden none a mob
100 Mannish slaves w/maces bronze leather ragged ranks
At the head of a calm army rode Captain Azgûrath of the nation of the
Dark Lieutenants. In his hands was
borne the glowing Hammer called Hatred Curse. The mount on which he
rode moved calmly to the front of the
battle lines. Behind him the forming ranks were filled with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
800 Troll footsoldiers w/battle axes wooden none a mob
200 Mannish slaves w/maces bronze leather ragged ranks
At the head of a rebellious army rode Captain Faragund of the nation
of Northern Gondor. The mount on which
he rode moved with trepidation to the center of the battle lines.
Behind him the forming ranks were filled
with:
Troops Weapons Armor Formations
500 Dúnadan footmen w/broadswords wooden none a mob
The City of Minas Morgul flying the flag of the Witch-king is
situated in the Mountains here. It is
fortified by a Castle, and it is under siege or attack.

Report from Rashkûk.....My commanders moved among the troops before
battle, readying them, bolstering their
resolve, and issuing last minute orders. Some of the troops needed
this encouragement but others were
growling in anticipation. Finally the order was shouted across the
battlefield.. Charge!! Charge!!
Against the forces of Elfhelm, we charged but they veered off and hit
our flank.
Against the forces of Anborn, we charged but they veered off and hit
our flank.
Against the forces of Ecthelion II, we charged but they veered off
and hit our flank.
Against the forces of Adrahil II, we charged but they veered off and
hit our flank.
Against the forces of Faragund, we charged but they veered off and
hit our flank.
After the battle had joined in earnest, heroes made their presence
known all over the battlefield. Elfhelm
fought side by side with the troops and diverted many a blade during
the pitched battle with his glowing
Sword. Ecthelion II burst forth with a blood curdling yell and rushed
to meet whatever foes would face his
glowing Sword. Boromir fought side by side with the troops and
diverted many a blade during the pitched
battle with his glowing Sword. Goromil stood off to one side making
magical gestures and incanting arcane
words. Suddenly, many of the enemy's blows were deflected from his
comrades who fought with more assurance!
Adrahil II burst forth with a blood curdling yell and rushed to meet
whatever foes would face his glowing
Sword. Morwen stood off to one side making magical gestures and
incanting arcane words. Suddenly, many of
her comrades felt their armor grow tougher and more resistant to the
blows of their enemies. Angbor fought
side by side with the troops and diverted many a blade during the
pitched battle with his glowing Sword.
Angûlion rode into the enemy ranks with his glowing Sword and cut
down a score of foes before they knew what
had happened. Ashburgnûl stood off to one side making magical
gestures and incanting arcane words. Suddenly,
bolts of fire streamed from his fingers and viciously burned down
rank after rank of the enemy! Blogath
stood off to one side making magical gestures and incanting arcane
words. Suddenly, balls of burning fire
leapt from her fingertips and exploded among the enemy, burning and
scorching them to death! Gothrog fought
side by side with the troops and diverted many a blade during the
pitched battle with his glowing Bow.
Rashkûk rode into the enemy ranks with his glowing Sword and cut down
a score of foes before they knew what
had happened. Dendra Dwar stood off to one side making magical
gestures and incanting arcane words.
Suddenly, a storm of fire engulfed portions of the enemy line,
leaving only burnt ashes in its path! Gothmog
burst forth with a blood curdling yell and rushed to meet whatever
foes would face his glowing Flail.
Celedhring stood off to one side making magical gestures and
incanting arcane words. Suddenly, bolts of
chilling frost struck into the ranks of the enemy, freezing scores of
them to death! Bolvag stood off to one
side making magical gestures and incanting arcane words. Suddenly,
magical barriers sprung up around his
comrades and prevented many a wound from occurring! Azgûrath fought
side by side with the troops and
diverted many a blade during the pitched battle with his glowing
Hammer.
Report from Rashkûk.....Our cavalry were severely hampered by the
mountainous terrain and the steep cliffs.
The troops fought well, but they could have been better trained. They
fought as if uninspired. However, we
were overrun in less than a few hours.
Commanders on the scene ordered their troops to salvage what they
could from the remains of the enemy
forces..
Captain Elfhelm: 39 Food
Veteran Anborn: 4 Food
Regent Ecthelion II: 142 Food
Regent Adrahil II: 84 Food
Captain Faragund: 12 Food
After the battle.... Elfhelm's forces were victorious in the battle,
but suffered some losses. Elfhelm
appeared to have survived. Anborn's forces were victorious in the
battle, but suffered some losses. Anborn
appeared to have survived. Ecthelion II's forces were victorious in
the battle, but suffered some losses.
Ecthelion II appeared to have survived. Adrahil II's forces were
victorious in the battle, but suffered some
losses. Adrahil II appeared to have survived. Angûlion's forces were
destroyed/routed in the battle.
Angûlion appeared to have survived. Rashkûk's forces were
destroyed/routed in the battle. Rashkûk appeared
to have survived but suffers from serious wounds. Shagrat's forces
were destroyed/routed in the battle.
Shagrat appeared to have survived. Gothmog's forces were
destroyed/routed in the battle. Gothmog appeared to
have survived. Azgûrath's forces were destroyed/routed in the battle.
Azgûrath appeared to have survived but
suffers from deadly wounds. Faragund's forces were victorious in the
battle, but suffered some losses.
Faragund appeared to have survived.
The battle for Minas Morgul was over even before it began. The
attackers were so numerous and strong that

the defending militia had little chance to save themselves. The
battle was over in just a few hours!!
After the attack on the population center.... Elfhelm's army survived
the attack on the City, but suffered
some losses. Elfhelm appeared to have survived. Anborn's army
survived the attack on the City, but suffered
some losses. Anborn appeared to have survived. Ecthelion II's army
survived the attack on the City, but
suffered some losses. Ecthelion II appeared to have survived. Adrahil
II's army survived the attack on the
City, but suffered some losses. Adrahil II appeared to have survived.
Faragund's army survived the attack on
the City, but suffered some losses. Faragund appeared to have
survived. The City has been reduced to a Major
Town. The Castle has not been affected. The Major Town has been under
siege/attack this turn. The Major Town
now flies the flag of Northern Gondor.


DS, care to reply?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

From the DS actually...

Flatulent Reek, Ambassador for Ji Indur

[Baja21]

Well, in their defense. They did drop the bridge. :)

NM-21

[Clint]

I'm disappointed in you Clint, only trying for four at a time

Yes that's creating ...

Clint (player)

[blaznak]

Dear Diary:
Ugh.
I just got over an 8 day bender. We had celebrated Waulfa's guarding of the great grass river between Lorien and Mirkwood and I won (or is that lost) the "Mug Tipping" contest, the "Flagon Draining" contest and the "Knock a hole in the Keg and drink it dry as the ash heaps of Mordor" contest.

I rolled over and discovered a wild boar was nesting by me. This brought back some potentially disturbing dreams I had, so I got up and staggered out for some honey-warmed mead and a big plate of Bork's famous 'Balrog Blasters'. I don't know what he puts in those spicy sausages, but they sure knock the hangover right out of a man.

I noticed that cute as a racoon's tail lass Ferret was already slopping up some blasters with her mead. I headed over to sit with her and show her my pelts, when that son of a nazgul Beneoracer shoved his ugly mug between us and sat down next to her! His jostling tipped my plate all over my nice new bear-hide robe!

Well, the cobwebs in my head were still as thick as Shelob's Lair when the messages came in:

There was a army of the dragon lord in my tree-barkin' capital! Cripes! Well, Beoraborn was there, he could handle it...

Then a squirrel came by and promptly informed me that Bulrakur of the Dog Lord had just blasted his way north! Wellll... that's not so bad... Huh? He has friends? Oh... So there it was Gaskbuz of the Dragon Lord with a Huge Army (what did he do - empty Dol Goldur?) and Hargrog with his few remaining pony boys...

Well, I looked around, who could I send... who could I send.... Well, of course! My best -commander- of course! I immeadiately gave Beoraborn some lads, kicked him in the butt and sent him off to di..er... stop the evil horde~ Then I comforted Ferret over what was surely to be a loss to us all.

Four armies? That's all you've got???? Freakin' DS!
Beorn, with the ugly hangover...

[murmur]

Good Day, Fellow Minions!

As i travel Our Lord`s Middle-Earth i am forever picking up the tales of woe from the common-people, tired of the Evil Elven Conspiracy and it`s effect on their daily lives. The ordinary Joe, or Brand or Gurgluk is fed-up with the capitalist system that ELROND and his cronies foists upon us all. "Why can`t we all be equal?" i`m often asked...and i reply; "WE CAN"--"JOIN WITH SAURON" and reject individual, materialistic ways of the Elves. Under SAURON`s RULE we are all equal. Well, that`s the party line, on with the news...

The North West--Remains quiet, for now, but surely war will even come to the land of gamboling hobbits and scurvy, flea-ridden ranger dogs? Thanks to the Tarks the area has regained it`s former Landlord; MURAZOR has returned to ANGMAR to bring his ancestral home back to prominence. In truth, it has been a labour of love for him for 100`s of years, one which required only a slight push...more of that later. Mt`s GRAM and GUNDABAD remain his unnassailable strongholds in the North, and are a beacon to all "right-thinking" demi-humans who want to rally to the banner of SAURON. On his return MURAZOR has declared a Holy-War on the Infidel Elves and Men in the North and vows to "purge" all non-believers in the omniscience of SAURON!

Mirkwood--has seen a flurry of activity. The effeminate elves of Imladris have threatened the good folk of Goblin-Gate with a fashion and evian embargo, and thus the populace succumbed to their capitalist ways. At 2613 HARGROG wiped out a small force of woodmen and with allies advanced towards the poor Woodmen capital. Can the skinchangers afford to defend themselves from the onslaught? 2613 was burnt. 2711 sees a Dragon Lord army under BHERAMEL facing the Woodmen of BEORABORN. It may be a close battle. At 2612, the blocking force of BENEORACER stands less chance against armies under the victorious HARGROG, GASKBUZ and BULRAKUR! Meanwhile, the Sinda Elves landed at 2715 to find it all but empty, yet without much to do with their large army. It cannot take the capital, and CELEBORN must face the defenders of the Dragon Lord under DURAN...

Rhun--In a close battle BARD I defeated the cavalry of MORNADAK, but took severe losses himself at 4218.

Fire Alley--A battle that seemed closer [on paper] was easily won by the freeps at Minas Morgul. The city fell to North Gondor. The failure of key spells probably helped. Is this the foothold the freeps are intent upon? There still remains around 4000 FP troops at the new NG MT/Castle, facing a much smaller DS force. However, OPERATION RETRIBUTION is about to begin! The Freeps will pay for their insolence, starting this turn. Although the bridge was dropped at 2924-3024, the freeps chose to fortify Osgiliath up to a Castle. This will make a nice domicile for REN in the future. There is no panic in Mordor about these events, however; we have seen far too many battles, many campaigns and believe we will triumph in the end. Plans are in place, the build-up will be slow, allies will be gained, and other fronts will make the Freeps pay for their folly!

Artifacts--the race is ,as ever, close; The DS Gained The Ring of Wind, The Ring of Curufin and Tinculin this turn. The Cloak of Duvorn was stolen though, by a pesky elf. The Ring of Impersonation remains at large. Many other artifacts are being sought by the minions of Sauron. We are in this War for the Long Hall. Short term victories are for the short-sighted. Let`s see how things look NEXT winter!!!

I remain your popular scribe,

FLATULENT REEK, Ambassador of Ji Indur.
All stories c/o Barduath please. Neutral Emmies Welcome!

[murmur]

Ben,

Where are the Freeps putting their camp again? I want to make sure Ji goes to the right party...

Flatulent Reek, Ambassador and Social Secretary.

[murmur]

Beorn,

How does one wash out the smell of wild animals from ones throne room? Does a hose do the job, or have you diverted the Anduin through Carrock to cleanse it? Hey, that way you could add fish to your menagerie...

The Voice, of Adunaphel.

[murmur]

"I look forward to the DS counterstroke. What's in store?!?

-Russ, Impatiently on the Sidelines"

RETRIBUTION!!!!! Sudden and Violent, oh yes!

JI INDUR

[blaznak]

Originally posted by murmur
Beorn,

How does one wash out the smell of wild animals from ones throne room? Does a hose do the job, or have you diverted the Anduin through Carrock to cleanse it? Hey, that way you could add fish to your menagerie...

The Voice, of Adunaphel.

Dear Adunaphel:

It is clear from your question you know you stink. Hee hee hee!
As they say in the woods, he who smelt it is standing in bear poo...

Love and Kisses,
Beorn :D

[benmin18]

FP have designated 3814.
DS have remained the same at 3320.

Objective - Build a city from a brand new camp. The first team to do so wins my loyalty the following turn.

Here are the rules:
1. The city must be on my map. I need to see progress, and it's not allowed to be hidden.
2. The starting camp location must be south of the major river running from Erebor and west of the Rhun Sea.
3. Both teams must announce where they intend to begin their project.
4. Camps may either be created by emmissaries or commanders.
5. The camps may be created by ANY character.
6. The population center is OFF LIMITS to any combat. Neither team is allowed to capture or destroy the other team's population center. Anything else is fair game.
7. Each team only gets ONE population center to work with. Transfers between teammate nations are allowed.

Important Rule
8. Neutrals are allowed to participate, but their population center is fair game for aligned sides to ALL ACTIONS and COMBAT so long as their icon remains neutral. Consequently if a neutral builds a city and flips their icon before either side can complete their city, I will flip mine as well the following turn to the same side. If a neutral flips his icon to an aligned side BEFORE getting the population center to city status then the combat clause in rule 6 against said team is null and void. For example, the WW decides to participate, gets his pop center to a town, and flip his icon to FP. Both the WW and the FP objective poplation center are now allowed to be involved in combat whereas the DS objective population center is still protected.

9. If at anytime the objective population center falls into enemy hands, then a new objective population center is allowed to be started. The original objective population center is not protected under rule 6. If the original objective population center is retaken after a new objective population center has been created then the team must designate which population center will be counted towards the race.

10. Race starts on turn 5 and goes until there is a winner. In the event of a tie, the city with the highest loyalty wins the tie-breaker.

If both teams decide to participate, I expect to hear which hex is designated by turn 5 and ideally camps already placed there. Good luck to both sides. If you have any questions over something I haven't addressed, please ask.


ONE MORE RULE
To ensure that each team gets a FAIR START the designated hexes shall remain clear of opposing army icons since you can't camp a hex that is occupied by the opposition.

[benmin18]

Hmmmm... Turn 5 results are out and NEITHER side managed to place a camp at their designated hexes. Wow.

And buyouts are running quite nicely, two in a row now.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

You see all those rules confused us...dunno what the freeps thought, but i thought i couldn`t start til THIS turn...hmmm. maybe i will, maybe i won`t. maybe i don`t want drawn into a war with the mighty dunlendings!

The Voice of Adunaphel

[benmin18]

I thought rule 10 made it clear and the little bit following it. I guess not.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Clint]

Okay who Infed my camp away? More importantly why?

Otherwise a good turn - nice army ready to pound now.

Ben are you saying that neither team has done anything... :-) I'm tempted - give me a location near me please and I'll see if I am up for it.

Clint (player)

[benmin18]

Clint,

You're welcome to join in, but remember you're not protected by the neutrality rules so either team, or anyone for that matter, can mess with your camp. So long as it's on my map and south of the major river, you're fine.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

I think the Rhun influenced it away and took it to Mordor, where the shadows lie...
Beorn the confused.

[benmin18]

Beorn, your words do not bode well. I might decide to take offense to that...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

From the Diary of Beorn

Dear Diary. Today started out ot be a good day. I learned that Ferret really likes chest hair and hairy backs, so I have a shot, I figure. But then, I learn that despite my orders, that oaf Beneoracer managed to not only hold off the Combined Might of Mordor, but he freaking survived!!! WHY WON'T THIS POSER DIE??? Cripes he really put the fear of all gods into those Mordor Heads. They ran off to Lorien rather than face Beneo's wrath again! Yikes! At least the capital is clear of enemies now...
Anyways, now Beneo, he's a freaking hero! Sigh. All I hear now is Beneo this and Beneo that. Beneo Beneo Beneo. AGH!
THEN I get word of camps disappearing so I toss out the first thing that hits my mushroom and ale addled mind and WHAM~ Faster than you can say International Incident I have some sand-caked diplomat on camel back in my back yard shouting something about being offended!
So, I shouted back "If your leader wants to take offense from a drunk woodchopper not above murdering his own men to get a shot at the cute girl go right ahead!"
Memo to self. Make sure of who is in the area BEFORE saying you are willing to murder your own men to get the cute girl... Who Knew?
Sigh.
At least one of the locals is telling me he's bringing us a hedge wizard to join our armies. He's a great guy named Mitch Agun. You have to love a guy named Mitch Agun!
Til next time, Diary,
Beorn

[Fletch]

Ben....you're a freak!!!

I think it would have been much funnier if both sides tried to crush you.......


Fletch

[RKFloyd]

The Duns and I will crush him. :)


-Russ / Cors

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by RKFloyd
The Duns and I will crush him. :)


-Russ / Cors

Plans are already under way to deal with the Rhun menace.

In the name of freedom we shall liberate their peoples and natural resources from tyranny.

[murmur]

Wait wait wait...

If a neutral plants a camp, then builds a city before either the FP or DS, THEN flips to one side, the rhun empire will follow suit??? IS this the latest ruling from on high? How do the Rhunite people live from day to day? What is the foriegn policy? Oh well, better go suck up to some "normal" neutrals, just in case the Rhun Empire tunrs it`s gaze on mordor...

FLATULENT REEK, Ambassador for Ji Indur

[lsd]

Snaga recruiting and very bored

Snaga had his orders (orders this orders that) but wasn't paying too much attention to them....until he realised Ren (not someone you messed with) was at Minas Morgul...then he remembered in a hurry. Wasn't till after that he heard that Ren had been detained....typical bloody typical you do something and then you find out you didn't need to....geesh!!!

Still garrison duties had their advantages (not least of which you had only half trained orcs trying to kill you as opposed to fully trained tarks) and of courses 'whas' [editorial note "Whas are girls/females/women/whatever who possess low morale standards and start ever sentence with "Ya Wha" - tiresome after a while].

Fecking problem was his usual trick of handing over gifts [read enducements] in exchange for CENSORED wasn't working. Everything was sooo expensive really bloody expensive fecking bloody expensive (or as Snaga would say....can't seem to get it all into one word....expensive thats it EXPENSIVE) everything that is except wood (and lets face it giving wooden carvings of whatever shape tends to call into question whether or not everything is functioning as it should be - if you get my drift.....besides ferret suggests teeth biting bobbit style...begining to see a trend here wooden carvings equipment malfunctioning a girl who likes to bite...Beorn care to comment!!!!).

Still in true orcish fashion Snaga adapted plan A doesn't work go to plan B [which is to steal equipment from army - who cares if the troops don't have armor] and then plan C [bash Wha over the head at least that way you don't have to listen to her talk]

Snaga currently recruiting troops

[benmin18]

Originally posted by murmur
Wait wait wait...

If a neutral plants a camp, then builds a city before either the FP or DS, THEN flips to one side, the rhun empire will follow suit??? IS this the latest ruling from on high? How do the Rhunite people live from day to day? What is the foriegn policy? Oh well, better go suck up to some "normal" neutrals, just in case the Rhun Empire tunrs it`s gaze on mordor...

FLATULENT REEK, Ambassador for Ji Indur

It's rule 8.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Brendan Miller
Plans are already under way to deal with the Rhun menace.

In the name of freedom we shall liberate their peoples and natural resources from tyranny.

What natural resources? All I've got it is lots of grass....

- Ben
Rhun "High as a kite" Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Fletch
Ben....you're a freak!!!

I think it would have been much funnier if both sides tried to crush you.......


Fletch

I wouldn't be surprised...

- Ben
Rhun 'Expecting To Be Crushed' Easterlings

[benmin18]

Originally posted by blaznak
All I hear now is Beneo this and Beneo that. Beneo Beneo Beneo. AGH!
THEN I get word of camps disappearing so I toss out the first thing that hits my mushroom and ale addled mind and WHAM~ Faster than you can say International Incident I have some sand-caked diplomat on camel back in my back yard shouting something about being offended!
So, I shouted back "If your leader wants to take offense from a drunk woodchopper not above murdering his own men to get a shot at the cute girl go right ahead!"


I have horses, not camels. Get it straight, drunkard. Someone needs to check Beorn into AA.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
What natural resources? All I've got it is lots of grass....

- Ben
Rhun "High as a kite" Easterlings

And we intend to liberate that grass, liberate those that eat and live on that grass from your evil tyranny.

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Brendan Miller
And we intend to liberate that grass, liberate those that eat and live on that grass from your evil tyranny.

Evil tyranny? Me? You're the one that's threatening to invade my lands! Ha! I shall crush you! As soon as I take care of this case of the munchies...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Brendan Miller]

Originally posted by benmin18
Evil tyranny? Me? You're the one that's threatening to invade my lands! Ha! I shall crush you! As soon as I take care of this case of the munchies...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Its not an invasion its a liberation.

My lads have heard you have vast fields with a multitude of sheep of exotic stock and are eager to free them from your lands.

[blaznak]

So who is commanding those DS forces in Mirkwood. I'd like to discuss the terms of your surrender.

Beorn the mighty of the Wiley and Wooly Woodmen

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Brendan Miller
Its not an invasion its a liberation.

My lads have heard you have vast fields with a multitude of sheep of exotic stock and are eager to free them from your lands.

Sheep? SHEEP?!?! You can have the sheep... Let's just sit around and discuss the matter over a peace pipe. Have you tried these brownies?

- Ben
Rhun 'Dealer' Easterlings

[murmur]

"So who is commanding those DS forces in Mirkwood. I'd like to discuss the terms of your surrender.

Beorn the mighty of the Wiley and Wooly Woodmen"


--Aaaah, Beorn...never one for the subtleties of war, were you? Let`s see what you think of the DS armies in a coupla turns, huh? How is the old woody economy? Enjoying freeloading off the rich elves? But what is the APR? Tell you what, here`s a plan; send Beneoracer into El-Drone`s clutches. Kill 2 birds with one stone; he can work off you national debt and you can make a move on the smelly bint Ferret!

Your ever friendly,

FLATULENT REEK, Ambassador to Ji Indur

[murmur]

Whilst i`m around;

ECTHELION sends his regards to the new Steward of Gondor, his son DENETHOR. He hopes that he is not too depressed about the capture of his father and the death of his beloved son BOROMIR...a word to the wise; keep the old goat away from the wine, kindling and lamp oil or it could all end in tears...

Now, where is FARAMIR til we wipe out the entire family line?

FLATULENT REEK

[lsd]

Out of curiousity are the free still happy with their "Grand Plan - send everything into the pass"?

Have things worked out as well as you guys thought?

Lets have your thoughts guys should be interesting

Ren (currently in captivity)

[blaznak]

"he can work off you national debt and you can make a move on the smelly bint Ferret!"

Hee Hee! See, this is why I think the Scots should be ruling the world. You have cool words like Haggis and bint and golf.

I'm guessing bint is not as complimentary as one might think? (wink)

Later!
Jeffery A.

[blaznak]

Originally posted by lsd
Out of curiousity are the free still happy with their "Grand Plan - send everything into the pass"?

Have things worked out as well as you guys thought?

Lets have your thoughts guys should be interesting

Ren (currently in captivity)

Dunno Ren - I think its working spiffy! I particularly like all the smoke and stuff from the wreckage of your armies and population centers! Enjoy!

Beorn of the Wild and Wily Woodmen.

[murmur]

"I'm guessing bint is not as complimentary as one might think? (wink) "


I guess a good equivalent would be squaw ;-)

And scots do rule the world. just in a very quiet, insidious way. Ever heard of Rupert Murdoch the 3rd generation aussie criminal mastermind? He was too evil for Scotland!

d

[lsd]

smoke and stuff from the wreckage of your armies and population centers

Think you'll find that your "Grand Offensive comprising 9,500 troops" has netted you 3124 - way to go:) .

The rather sorry looking remnants now huddling behind the walls of Minas Morgul time grows near. How many of their commanders will live to see the morning do you think?

Ice King troops control the road @ 3024 you have nothing left @ 3124 capable of attacking.

Yes all told your strategy has come off the rails. Care to bet how long before Sauron's flag flies once more over Morgul.

Ren (name, rank & serial number is all you guys will get!)

[Baja21]

Lets see..
Turn 6 is upcoming, and the DS have no way of capturing 3124, not to mention Os. I'd say the push was well worth it.

If I were you i'd pat myself on the back a little more about the artifacts. Having Khamul find the ring as he moved into the hex saved his life. (And was very lucky.)
We got unlucky with din, but I'm sure his luck cant keep up.

All and all, looks like it should be an interesting game.

Ben
NM-21

P.S. Ren, we dont need you name or serial number. (as for Rank.. we are afraid we will never get your stench out of the holding cell.) We will put you in a very shallow grave soon enough..

[benmin18]

This is very entertaining and all, but I hope both sides haven't forgotten about the little contest to win my loyalty. It'd be damn interesting to see if any neutrals jumped in.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

More with the Rank stuff. I'm telling you there is a stench from Mordor and it has nothing to do with eating too many Balrog Bangers!

Later,
Beorn

[Goldschlager]

I'd say the Grand Plan, or rather, the plan for the opening 3 turns, worked out just peachy. Honestly, it worked better than we hoped for.

You should have seen it coming. It was the exact same formula we used against David in game 238. (and that game only lasted 13 turns. We're almost half-way there!)

History can be a bitch. :-)

[murmur]

You have a "plan"? What`s that?

And what`s a "238"? I seem to have blocked the phrase from memory...is that the one with the 15 against 8?

d

ps; NEVER trust a neutral!

[RKFloyd]

Hey!!! . . .



-Neutral Russ

[murmur]

Well...you KNOW what i mean...would YOU trust Ben with the keys to Mordor`s backdoor [!] before he flipped his shield to an eye?

NEVER trust a Freep either!


And keep an eye on those dark servants, some of them have personal hygiene issues.


--Un-named Source, Barduath.

[murmur]

"that game only lasted 13 turns. We're almost half-way there!) "

--I wouldn`t count on it, bub. We`re hoping for neutrals with a bit more backbone [no offense] in this game, and a good, long war. There are notches to be made on Ji knife!

"History can be a bitch."

--Adunaphel is the only bitch you should worry about!!

The Voice , of Adunaphel

[murmur]

Hail Peons!

I greet you with a renewed confidence in the Will of Sauron. This fortnight has seen an upturn in the fortunes of [most of] his Dark Servants.
Let me take you around the "THEATRES OF WAR":

ANGMAR:
As 1 of 9 has returned to his ancestoral home in the far north, the young pretender, the skanky saddle-bum ARAGORN arrived at his stronghold at 2006 wth a ragtag bunch of his pikey-folk in-tow. Unfortunately for the self-appointed King of murky bloodstock ROGROG defends the Town with a superior force. Maybe the little heir will fall in battle? That would be a shame! Where are the terrible twins to back him up??

MIRKWOOD:
At 2612, combined armies of the Long Rider, Dog Lord and Dragon Lord destroyed the defending troops of BENEORACER. Whilst HARGROG stayed there to block the Woodmen armies of the InBred BEORN and MINOHTAR, BULRAKUR and GASKBUZ moved to the Sinda capital to see if anyone was home. Only LINORLAS appears in position to battle the rampant Dark Servants. Meanwhile across the gap there was better news for the Sinda; CELEBORN and TATHAR were victorious in close personal challenges with DURAN and ROGATHA respectively, in something of a misjudgement by the servants of KHAMUL. The Dragon Lord was said to be mightily displeased. The Sind army remains in place at Dol Gudor whilst DS troops "entertain" the elven lady folk of Lorien. Where is that skinny bint, Galadriel? The [literal] backwoods, "tree-trash" cousins of the Sinda and the Noldo; the Silvan Elves have been busy planting camps in the north and worrying about what the Dragon Lord might do to his fragile economy. I wonder if they know they are the butt of jokes in the Courts of El-Drone and his ancient mother-in-law GADSriel? "How cheap are their raiments?" " Did they buy their furniture flat-pack?" No wonder they have been forced to live next door to the hicks in the sticks Woodmen. It seems that someone in Beorns family KNEW SOMEONE in Beorns family. Someone for a fondness for furry woodland creatures. In Imladris and Caras-Galadhon the Silvan Elves are only regarded slightly higher because they "are elves after all"...

RHUN:

The Easterlings show some sign of camp placement. Big news, huh? How do they like living so close to the Northmen by the way? I hope they are taking care to lock their doors at night and protect their belongings? Have you seen the garb that gimp KYNODEN wears. Either he`s a cat-burglar or he`s been hanging out in the same bars Glorfindel and Legolas frequent...

FIRE ALLEY:
Another week, another stunning freep victory...well, sorta. The troops of the Gondorian Empire continue to do the bidding of the Elves [hey, they even suckered a few strawheads into joiining them!] and took out a couple of regiments of the Dark Servants. Hell, they even captured the head cheese [well, that`s what he smells like] Fire King: REN THE UNCLEAN in the battle. They might even have enough troops to win the next round, but the writing is on the wall for this little offensive--they won`t be allowed to build a bridgehead at Minas Morgul. ECTHELION, Steward of Gondor was kidnapped by agents, his grand-son BOROMIR assassinated at the same spot. The army they were leading dissappeared into the mists, demoralised by the lack of leadership. It is no mistake that the largest freep army at 3124 is no more...meanwhile this week armies under ADRAHIL [SG], ELFHELM [RR] and ARGIRION [NG] will attempt to hold back the incoming troops of Sauron. ANBORN moved back to 3024 to defend it, only to be met by a superior force of the Ice King.

HARAD, KHAND and UMBAR:
The Great Corsairs of Umbar and the Kingdom of Khand remain busy in the South. They are evidently digging in to prepare for their parts in the War. We hope it will be with the banner of The Lidless Eye that they decide to join battle!

ARTIFACTS:
This has gone much better for the Dark Servants than the Freeps. Though some of the "races" have been close, Sauron`s agents have secured The Ring of Impersonation, The Ring of Wind, The Ring of Curufin and Tinculin so far. Many other baubles have been identified and efforts to recover begun...we hope to put them to good use. It was particularly amusing to see ELROHIR attempt to steal the magic harp Tinculin when it was already many leagues away...

GOSSIP:
If anyone has a story to contibute to this little tattle sheet, please do drop a line to;

FLATULENT REEK, c/o Barduath.

I may be out "in the field" spreading the Word of Sauron[tm], but one of my underlings will pass on the information. Until the next time,

F-R, Ambassador to Ji Indur

[benmin18]

I assume both sides are going to participate in the city-race, correct? Or am I going to be wiped out?

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Of course!

We`d love the fun-loving Rhunites on our side...it`s those freeps and the expansionist Dunlendings you have to worry about!

Flatulent Reek

[lsd]

I'd say the Grand Plan, or rather, the plan for the opening 3 turns, worked out just peachy. Honestly, it worked better than we hoped for.

You should have seen it coming. It was the exact same formula we used against David in game 238. (and that game only lasted 13 turns. We're almost half-way there!)

History can be a bitch. :-)

Jeesh! one throw away remark over free strategy (or to be more correct the lack of it) and toys come out of the pram faster than I can count!

You guys don't have an ego thing going do you? I mean if your the sensitive types just come clean we'll go easy on you - promise!

Ren (Name, Rank & Serial Number is all you'll ever get!!)

[murmur]

They are a little bit exposed aren`t they?

But, of course the second wave is promised soon. I`m a quivering wreck...i wonder where it will come from and how we can stop it? Maybe i`ll interogate ECTHELION a little more. He probably doesn`t know anything--the elves wouldn`t tell a mere mortal, would they???

ZAKEN of Barduath

[benmin18]

I would still like to point out that the Rhun Easterlings are peace loving, happy, sometimes having-the-munchies nation.

- Ben
Rhun 'I'm hungry, what's there to eat' Easterlings

[Baja21]

Well, hopefully we should see some new camps in the "city hex" race this turn. (Damn emmies!)

Ben
NM-21

[benmin18]

Two things....

1. I see lots of FP icons all over my pop centers, what gives?
2. Someone took away my camp at 4121, and I'm not appreciating it. I'm going to be sending someone back to reclaim it.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[MrDarwan]

You know, when I saw Hunt for the Red October, people were antsy about military practice exercises, and the escalation in tension. Was America attacked? Was Russia invaded? No.

I would just think of it as military maneuvers. Some might say we are flexing muscle. It doesn't mean we have to USE that muscle.

I'm just glad that friendly fire is turned off in this game!!


Check two Mordor camps for the Silvan,

Darwan
Silvan - g21

[benmin18]

Originally posted by MrDarwan
You know, when I saw Hunt for the Red October, people were antsy about military practice exercises, and the escalation in tension. Was America attacked? Was Russia invaded? No.

I would just think of it as military maneuvers. Some might say we are flexing muscle. It doesn't mean we have to USE that muscle.

I'm just glad that friendly fire is turned off in this game!!


Check two Mordor camps for the Silvan,

Darwan
Silvan - g21

I have no problem with you guys moving through my pop centers, because, well, that's just where I happen to lie. Avoiding my capital would have been nice, considering the force you currently have there is more than enough to torch it - but hey, I'm not in a position to bargain. The armies on Mistrand and Ilanin are fine as well since both those pop centers lie along the road which I knew your team would be using. But the Dwarf army on Lar-Huz, 3605, are you kidding? There had better be a damn good explanation for that one.

And I will be reclaiming the camp I lost, whoever took it.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Originally posted by benmin18
I have no problem with you guys moving through my pop centers, because, well, that's just where I happen to lie. Avoiding my capital would have been nice, considering the force you currently have there is more than enough to torch it - but hey, I'm not in a position to bargain. The armies on Mistrand and Ilanin are fine as well since both those pop centers lie along the road which I knew your team would be using. But the Dwarf army on Lar-Huz, 3605, are you kidding? There had better be a damn good explanation for that one.

And I will be reclaiming the camp I lost, whoever took it.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Its really weird because I don't see any rhun icons on the woodmen map... :confused:
Now DS icons? I got DS icons...
Beorn the befuddled,
wondering if Bolg wants to be drawn and quartered or just peppered with arrows...

[benmin18]

Originally posted by blaznak
Its really weird because I don't see any rhun icons on the woodmen map... :confused:
Now DS icons? I got DS icons...
Beorn the befuddled,
wondering if Bolg wants to be drawn and quartered or just peppered with arrows...

Sorry to hear that the Nazgul don't want to play nice with the Woodmen, but it ain't my problem. I'm waiting to hear from the Northmen or Dwarves.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Clint]

So Ben where are all your armies?! Hope they aren't coming my way - but just in case I've sent 1500 HC to intercept it so if you had considered them coming in my direction then maybe you need to send them back Northwards?

Looks like the grand experiment failed. Bad luck.

Clint (player) KE

[benmin18]

What armies... I've been sitting on my butt making camps and patiently watching to see how both teams did in the city-race. Now I've got 5 Dwarf/Northmen armies on my capital, plus two more on my villages, and another Northmen army on Mistrand. Well, it's been fun.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[murmur]

Well, Ben it looks like you are going to be jumped. Nasty Elven Capitalists! I guess you were a threat to their Conspiracy Plans! Do you need a nice safe back-up somewhere? Contact us and we`ll see what we can do...

Your Friendly, Caring Nazgul,

Flatulent Reek for Ji Indur.

[benmin18]

I will be giving the Free People a chance to explain their actions. Other then that, nothing to say at this moment.

- Ben
Rhun 'About to be buried' Easterlings

[murmur]

What do the other Neutrals make of this development? If you don`t fall into line for the Freep Money Making Machine, you get stomped? I hope the rest of you have some backbone and will join us in stopping this outrageous behaviour? Or do you like to be bullied into sumbmission? The Dark Servants would never resort to this tactic. It is shameful!
Good to see that the other Freep nations haven`t been sitting on their hands whilst the Gondors getting pummelled in Fire Alley. oh, and look, another SG navy arrives just in time to be slaughtered, hoorah!

The Voice of Adunaphel.

[murmur]

I think you are witnessing the meaning of the phrase "GUNBOAT DIPLOMACY"!

The Voice of Adunaphel

[Brendan Miller]

Ben's plan failed but it looks as though my demand for the destruction of Rhun has come to fruition.

They may look like Dwarves and Northmen but they are actually cleverly disguised Dunnish warriors ready to take bloody vengeance upon our horse loving nemesis.

[benmin18]

All I wanted to see was the teams compete for my loyalty, instead I get jumped by the Dwarves and Northmen after the Free People said they wouldn't attack me first. I'm still waiting for an explanation of what went wrong.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[88 Noldo]

Maybe nothing went wrong and all is going according to plan.

[benmin18]

Originally posted by 88 Noldo
Maybe nothing went wrong and all is going according to plan.

Ed, are you in this game?

And whose plan? Certainly not mine...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[88 Noldo]

Ben, not in this game. Clearly not your plan. Where is the paranoia when you really need it?

[Baja21]

Since all diplomacy between the Rhun and any parties has been through this board, I will post our response to all:

Ben,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. It was not "gunboat diplomacy" but rather alot of work. As I am sure this message will probably be posted, let me explain what is happening.

First, let me congratulate you on a brilliant strategy with the Rhun. Historicaly, the rhun are never allowed to grow unopposed for longer than 3-4 turns. The free usually bully them into flipping FP, or the DS have already bribed them with a backup and plan to sink the NM. You plan would have allowed the Rhun to develop into a powerhouse, and a huge ally to either team.
Unfortunatly, we (the FP) felt that your contest heavily favored the DS. Initially, I thought the idea would be fun, so as a team we agreed to it. But, after a few turns we realized our mistake. By not declaring where you would be camping we immediatly ran into conflicts, as you well know. By refusing to tell us where you were going, other conflicts occured. (Costing the FP MULTIPLE camping attempts.) You know that getting a solid economic base early is essential in a grudge game, and your emmisaries were preventing this from happening. We tried to negotiate with you on this matter, and thought we had come to a settlement that you then backed out of.
We also feel that it would be easier for the DS to build the city. Short of planting Elrond in the same hex for multiple turns (an act of suicide,) the free would have to have an entire emmisary company devoted to that one hex to improve the loyalty enough to allow another character to turn it into a city. With the DS's emmy artifact any new 30 pt emmy was now a 60, giving them a huge advantage.
So, now we are looking at a race that may be possible to win, but only if we devote an entire emmisary company to it, once again keeping them from camping, and even then we would not be assured of a victory. If we did win, the we would have a FP Rhun that would still have to march into the back or Mordor. If teh DS won, they would have a huge ally right next door to the NM capital. As the NM, this made me VERY nervous.
Sooo, last turn we sent out some diplomatic feelers to all of the neutrals. This grudge team had never jumped a neutral, and were very nervous about it. The response from the other neutrals was not necessarily supportive, but certainly was not condeming. We decided to act.

Why didn't we notify you.. Well, Ben you are a VERY good player, and a very dangerous enemy. We knew with this plan, we could take every gold producing pop center you owned (with the exception of the village at the front door of mordor and any camps,) thus eliminating you from play. Lets just say we decided to pull the band-aid off quickly rather than slowly. We do already regret that it had to come to this, and if you somehow survive this turn I am sure we will regret it even a bit more.

I have explained our position, and no, I really cant think of how we could be disuaded.

Bard of the NM
(and your teammate in another game.. which makes this even harder)

[benmin18]

Interesting... I never viewed the DS as having an advantage, but perhaps I should've made the rules a bit more strict and not allowed either team to mess with each other. Oh well, live and learn... Next time I'll do a scavenger hunt.

Heck, I haven't even been recruiting at all... You guys are going to walk right over me.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Ben, I was really surprised you hadn't been recruiting, especially since you kept saying you were expecting to be jumped by either side at any moment.

NM-21

[murmur]

Any other current neutrals not responding to the devious Elves Carrots? Perhaps you`d better look out for their big sticks...or rather the troops of their allies. Funny how elves always go missing when there`s a battle to be fought. All that sneaking around, no doubt...

The Voice of Adunaphel

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Baja21
Ben, I was really surprised you hadn't been recruiting, especially since you kept saying you were expecting to be jumped by either side at any moment.

NM-21

Actually the thought of me being jumped was in jest. I trusted your side not to jump me because you hadn't done so in the past and the DS couldn't touch me, so what did I have to worry about? I was content to sit on my butt, build my economy, and as the city race came to a close I would've started recruiting HC. The only thing would've been for me to see which way to send my troops. Whatever the case, whichever side I ended up attacking would've had an entire turn to prepare since I wasn't going to be surprising anyone.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[lsd]

Question for the free?

I and Murmur have a bet on re the orders given to the Elven commander @ 2514 this turn just past

I said you guys would refuse and hire army (not knowing you all that well assumed you would go for the standard approach) Murmur / David reckoned you were brighter than that and might have 215ed & 408.

So which is it guys?

Of course the real smart move would have been to stand & defend but whats 2413 to you guys? - nothing; right?

yours Ren (I will be lodging a complaint with the Geneva war conventions imagine subjecting POWs to baths I mean the surname is unclean guys get with the programme!)

Ren (name, rank & serial number is all you'll ever get!!)

[blaznak]

Originally posted by lsd
Question for the free?

I and Murmur have a bet on re the orders given to the Elven commander @ 2514 this turn just past

I said you guys would refuse and hire army (not knowing you all that well assumed you would go for the standard approach) Murmur / David reckoned you were brighter than that and might have 215ed & 408.

So which is it guys?

Of course the real smart move would have been to stand & defend but whats 2413 to you guys? - nothing; right?

yours Ren (I will be lodging a complaint with the Geneva war conventions imagine subjecting POWs to baths I mean the surname is unclean guys get with the programme!)

Ren (name, rank & serial number is all you'll ever get!!)


Sadly, the Sinda was getting special serviced last turn. Now, for those of you who dont know, there's NOTHING like a Sinda's special service...
Later,
JAD

[murmur]

"Sadly, the Sinda was getting special serviced last turn."

--Is that, like, a euphimism? Or were "Glory-hole" Glorfindel and "Errant" Ersetor in town..?


Flatulent Reek

[Oltex]

Couple of comments enclosed.

1. It appears we are being critized for tactics at 2514 by the team that lost an entire capital on T3? Does anyone else see the irony? BTW, I'm sure troops are on the way to the Rhun Sea. Of course, we haven't SEEN them, but I'm sure they are coming. In the meantime, we'll just scoop up DS camps and village. Just to let you guys know that the Rhun Sea hasn't fallen off the map. Sort of like....um, hello, we're over here! Also, good job taking Osgiliath...oh wait, you guys haven't taken it. In fact, what HAVE you guys taken?

2. I find it humorous that the DS are painting us as the "dirty sneak attackers!" when they don't have a single PC in the Rhun Area (except the totally inaccessible LR village). Thus, that DS are in absolutely no danger of a first strike by the Rhun. The NM, however, are so close to the Rhun they can look up their noses without attracting much attention. Thus, if the RE goes FP, the DS have serveral turns to fortify their back door. If the RE goes DS, the NM are usually eliminated within the next two turns. Having said that, yes, we did jump the Rhun (or are in the process of). And yes, we've never done this before as a team. However, we've never had a neutral refuse to negotiate with us before either. Just for history's sake, how many camps did the DS loose due to overlapping camping with the Rhun? No, this is not a strong-arm tactic to force RE to flip FP. Any neutral who has ever joined our team (and there are ALOT of them) knows that we love to negotiate and communicate. However, diplomacy can only get you so far. Ben had an interesting idea that might have actually worked had he been a bit more cooperative with our team. Pehaps next game? Our team theory has always been "today's enemy might be tomorrow's ally". Just ask MAL, our current team captain and fomer enemy in game 84.

Clif
Rangers
Still trying to figure out how that doofus Encalion got himself captured

[Oltex]

"ARTIFACTS:
This has gone much better for the Dark Servants than the Freeps. Though some of the "races" have been close, Sauron`s agents have secured The Ring of Impersonation, The Ring of Wind, The Ring of Curufin and Tinculin so far. Many other baubles have been identified and efforts to recover begun...we hope to put them to good use. It was particularly amusing to see ELROHIR attempt to steal the magic harp Tinculin when it was already many leagues away... "

Yea, I'll admit that we've suffered in this area. We even an EXCELLENT start which make it ever worse...heh.

Elrohir and Tinculin actually get's even funnier when I admit that Elrohir had a full 6 artifacts on him at the time. Ooops, won't make that mistake again. Also, tell Lomelinde that I missed knifing her butt by a turn but I'll be sure to put her bauble to good use. Didn't see that one coming did ya? Uvatha, beware....

RoC was to be expected once we discovered who was there. We hadn't really expected you guys to send the big Din O himself. It paid off with the RoC but the loss of Minus Morgul. Fair trade? Only time will tell. Kinda surprised you with the Riders PC, eh? Heh, could have easily gone the other way. Would have been quite a different game with Din O dead on T3. We have no regrets. I bet Din's a refusing mo-fo now...heh. Never know when one of my twins will show up and take him down a notch. Watch your back Dinny-O. As you've admitted, elves are sneaky bastages.

RoW....well, we are still trying to figure it out. Did big K get a lucky 900 off? That's the only way we can see it. We had that sucker all wrapped until that stroke of luck. Ah well, live and let live.

RoI....we'd pretty much run out of retrievers at the time. The Gondor had another focus (Minus Morgul). Again, another trade off.

Anyone located the Blue Ring yet? Heh...if so, we dare you to go retrieve it!

This is definately an interesting game.

Clif
Rangers
Chairmen of Free People Artifact Retrieval Council (at least until they fire me for incompetance)

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Oltex

However, we've never had a neutral refuse to negotiate with us before either. Just for history's sake, how many camps did the DS loose due to overlapping camping with the Rhun? No, this is not a strong-arm tactic to force RE to flip FP. Any neutral who has ever joined our team (and there are ALOT of them) knows that we love to negotiate and communicate. However, diplomacy can only get you so far. Ben had an interesting idea that might have actually worked had he been a bit more cooperative with our team. Pehaps next game? Our team theory has always been "today's enemy might be tomorrow's ally". Just ask MAL, our current team captain and fomer enemy in game 84.


Clif,

You guys screwed up. I refused to negotiate with both sides and now it's going to cost you because your side got jittery and decided not to put forth any serious effort into the contest I laid forth. I was open to negotiating on the rules of the contest, and I allowed both sides time to discuss the matter and come up with objections - but NEITHER SIDE OBJECTED. And instead I got jumped on, thanks a lot. And if the DS team did win the contest, you guys would've had plenty of time to prepare for it because I WOULDN'T HAVE FLIPPED MY ICON FOR A FULL TURN and YOUR TEAM COULD HAVE EASILY ANTICIPATED LOSING THE CONTEST AND PREPARE ACCORDINGLY. Ask Brian and Ben, I'm all for communicating and negotiating. But I had laid out my plans for negotiation through the contest and you guys decided not to take me up on and that's fine. But for you to say I refused to negotiate with your side specifically, that's bull**** and you know it.

Brian and Ben know how much of a pain in the ass I can be if I put my mind to it, and now I've put my mind to it. If you guys had been smart you would've have gone ahead and played along with the contest and anticipated losing so you could make plans for my future attack.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Oltex]

Ben,

First, we aren't sore about the contest rules. In fact, we thought it a pretty cool idea. We are sore that you refuse to negotiate with us for camping reservations. Because of that, we've lost 2-3 camps at least (thus far). Our primary advantage over the DS is economics and you were jeapardizing that.

Normally, neutrals are given a wide berth and lots of latitude by both sides because each want to recruit you. However, that show of respect goes both ways. We feel that you are not giving us that respect and chipping away at our team advantage. THAT's why we moved in.

I, personally, can sort of understand your anger at being jumped. However, as a veteran neutral myself, I understand that neutrals are not untouchable and, in the end, it's all about winning.

We are sorry it had to come to this. Believe me (or not), we debating this over and over and over. Whether you (and the DS) consider this a "violation" of neutrality, we consider our agression to you to be a one-time exception to our policy of neutral-friendship. We stand by our past record as a team and stand by our decisions this game.

Clif
Rangers

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Oltex

First, we aren't sore about the contest rules. In fact, we thought it a pretty cool idea. We are sore that you refuse to negotiate with us for camping reservations. Because of that, we've lost 2-3 camps at least (thus far). Our primary advantage over the DS is economics and you were jeapardizing that.

Normally, neutrals are given a wide berth and lots of latitude by both sides because each want to recruit you. However, that show of respect goes both ways. We feel that you are not giving us that respect and chipping away at our team advantage. THAT's why we moved in.

I, personally, can sort of understand your anger at being jumped. However, as a veteran neutral myself, I understand that neutrals are not untouchable and, in the end, it's all about winning.


I clearly explained to Ben Cook why I didn't want to negotiate with him on camping sites, and I didn't want to negotiate with the Dark Servants either. But for your side to jump me when I was clearly treating both sides equally and with respect, well, I guess that's just the way you're going to play it - so be it.

As for me being angry, I'm not angry - but I will certainly get even in the future. Ben and Brian know what kind of pain I can be, and I guarantee your side will not like the results.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[Baja21]

Ben,
We promise to make it quick if you promise to roll over and die. :) And yes, I do know what a pain you can be.. just ask the free in 225. :)

NM-21

At least this way the DS wont bitch because we recruited all 5 of the neutrals like last time...

[RKFloyd]

Please accept my apology for being a "bitching DS" last time.

-Russangarunya, Bitching Neutral
:)

[Baja21]

Well, umm, of course we didn't mean you Russ. :)

NM-21

[benmin18]

Originally posted by Baja21
Ben,
We promise to make it quick if you promise to roll over and die. :) And yes, I do know what a pain you can be.. just ask the free in 225. :)

NM-21

At least this way the DS wont bitch because we recruited all 5 of the neutrals like last time...

I hope you guys brought enough troops. Those 100 loyalty major towns are always a bitch...

I'm not ready to roll over and die yet, but I might bankrupt, of course.

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Beorn surveyed the troops. He had a throbbing headache and a sore back from sleeping in those elven feather beds. Sheesh! Why can't they let a guy just sleep on rocks and dirt like nature intended?

He was not happy. He finally commanded an army big enough to take out the army of Sauron marauding about the Lorien Woods and the coward moved off to some other elf town. Blech. Well at least his army would grow. Waulfa had marched in even more troops and so now he knew he'd be able to crush anything - if he could catch that anything. He stared out the window grown into the tree. The dark tower known as Dol Goldur beckoned. Ah... now THERE was a target that wasn't going anywhere...

Meanwhile, the defenders of Framsburg continued to make changes to the walls of their base camp. Only yesterday the army of the Witch King roared out of the mountains! By counts the forces were just about equal in size. They could only hope that defending behind the crude rock walls they had thrown together would be sufficient to save them. With mighty shouts of anger and hate, the Witch King's forces began their maneuvers, forming into ragged battle lines. The skies turned dark and the sun seemed to vanish behind the clouds... The defenders looked to the sky: Would they have to face rain as well as cold in the battle ahead? NO! That was no cloud! It was an army, an army of eagles! One of the majestic birds swirled down and, amazingly, spoke in the language of men... "We heard there were goblin-things to kill. The Goblin-things have stolen many of our eggs. We would have our revenge..." ...

See ya in 6!
Beorn of the Wild and Wooley Woodmen!!!

[benmin18]

Woodmen smell funny...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

[blaznak]

Originally posted by benmin18
Woodmen smell funny...

- Ben
Rhun Easterlings

Huh, thats a weird statement. We smell just fine. Now we reek of sweat, the woods, etc., but there's nothing wrong with our sense of smell...

Beorn (remembering to wash this year)

[murmur]

Good Day, Servants of the One True Lord, SAURON!

I look around the map of Middle-Earth and foresee nothing but woe for the Capitalist Empire of the Elves. Their long-wrought plans for world domination are now very much in danger or evapourating, like Woodman Sweat on a Sunny Day. The stain is removed, yet the odour will linger long in the memory. And what has brought this sudden reversal of fortune? Impatience, Arrogance and Treachery!
With the sudden attack on the peaceful, sport-loving Rhun Easterlings they seek to wipe a proud nation off the map, all because the would not bend their knees at Elrond`s Altar. Well, what right thinking humanoid would submit to such a thing willingly? The brave Rhunites will guard their capital with their lives and do everything in their power to come through this episode stronger, bent on revenge. We shall see. Perhaps this show of force will convince other neutral neighbours to be Elven Thralls? Making enemies so easily will require the Sylvan Empire to make friends hastily. But, how fast?

ANGMAR:
The proud barsteward son of the line of Elendil; ARAGORN came knocking on the Gates of Carn-Dum with 500 strong heavy cavalry. With him rode Elladan and Encalion. More outlaws of the North. In more peaceful times these roaming thieves would be hunted like the wild dogs they are. Perhaps they will be soon. Anyway, at 2006 they were roundly defeated by a superior force of the Witch King under Rogrog. Carn-Dum stands all the more secure for the rout, and Encalion was taken in battle. So much for the Return of the King. There is a rumour doing the rounds of the bars in The Shire that Aragorn is *actually* the son of a bar-steward; BARLIMAN`s illigitimate offspring form illicit coupling with a wood-elf serving wench...the young boy was so ashamed of this that he spent his youth conjuring a new self-history...that could explain the broken sword that was taken in the battle, what kind of king would carry that?? At Framsburg, the woodmen threw enough troops together to make a run at Gundabad, only to be surprised by a large army under BOLG OF THE NORTH at their pitiful camp. It might be a close battle.

MIRKWOOD:
This area has become the second front the Freeps did not want: At Dol Guldor, GALADRIEL`S consort CELEBORN met his doom upon the knife of DIN OHTAR. Meanwhile his troops melted away from the Dragon Lord`s capital. At Caras Galadhon the armies of Bulrakur and Gaskbuz departed, letting the freeps chase after them. Bulrakur moved on to 2413, which was kindly revealed for him. The Sinda Town will be easily captured by his heavy cavalry! Hoorah, for SAURON!

RHUN:
The big news of the week, as mentioned at the top of my report, was the occupation of Free Rhun by Freep Axis Troops: Our Neutral Neighbour has sent an urgent plea for us to intervene in the situation, however it is unlikely that Diplomacy will prevail upon the Capitalist Machine once it is under way; HUZ reports to us that mixed dwarven and northmen forces have occupied his capital 4014, Northmen are at his Town of Mistrand 4318, and stumpies are also at 3605 and 3713. All for the sake of a couple of camping rights. That is how petty the Mighty Sylvan Empire is. In a further act of aggression a Northmen Army extended the War in Rhun to UVATHA`s village at 4425. For our part we condemn this illegal war, we will be avenged and although we doubt that Rhun can be saved we would like to offer all the moral support we can to the troubled nation.

KHAND, HARAD and UMBAR:
Worryingly quiet...

DUNLAND and ANGRENOST:
Deathly quiet...

FIRE ALLEY:
Better news for the Dark Servants here--
The first assault of the Freeps seems to have been weathered. At Minas Morgul [still a NG MT/Castle], the Freep Axis are down to the one army of ELFHELM. I say army, i really mean a couple of hundred horses with demoralised troops upon them. The Gondorian troops have melted away like snow in the spring for one reason or another. ADRAHIL`s SG troops were the latest to disband following a crushing defeat. ARGIRION`s North Gondor remnants dispersed when their commander was kidnapped. ELFHELM is now surrounded by vastly superior forces.
Down the mountain road in Osgiliath another battle is brewing; FARAGUND retreated to the NG Town/Castle and was met by the newly arriving SG navy under DUINHIR. Unfortunately for them the Ice King is also in attendance with a similar number of troops...another close battle is in prospect. And who knows, perhaps more captives will be taken??
Meanwhile, down the river, the second bridge was destroyed at Pelargir. How many troops were trapped on the western bank?

And that`s all for this week...

I shall return, Your Faithful Scribe,

FLATULENT REEK, Somewhere in Mordor.

[lsd]

Given the mails flying on the Rhun situation decided to keep quiet until now....

1. It appears we are being critized for tactics at 2514 by the team that lost an entire capital on T3? Does anyone else see the irony? BTW, I'm sure troops are on the way to the Rhun Sea. Of course, we haven't SEEN them, but I'm sure they are coming. In the meantime, we'll just scoop up DS camps and village. Just to let you guys know that the Rhun Sea hasn't fallen off the map. Sort of like....um, hello, we're over here! Also, good job taking Osgiliath...oh wait, you guys haven't taken it. In fact, what HAVE you guys taken?

Turn 6 - the free have captured / destroyed (que drumroll and deep breath)

3124 - City
1502 - Camp
2409 - village
1518 - camp
3421 - camp
3621 - camp
this turn
4425 - village

Jeesh frightening I mean I think we the DS are finished you guys have really really hurt us (guys, guys its over...finished...kaput).

Got to hand it to you, you have driven home your military advantage pummeling us into the ground - I'm speechless truly gobsmacked truly truly Napoleonic in your touch....ha! ha!

Artifacts

RoI & RoC <= to 3124...let me think on that...still not computing...no just can't seem to understand perhaps 6 vodkas...hick hick no still not making sense....8 vodkas & 3 murphys later....collaspeD....give up CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME BY WHAT LOGIC DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THESE TWO ARTIFACTS ARE WORTH LESS THAN 3124? I DON'T UNDERSTAND....

Opening strategy guys has not been clever whatever way you look at it...try a little harder it may (repeat may!) come to you....

Ren the worthless - hey! give me back my artifacts!!